The Golden Girls Forums

NBC (ended 1992)

Best Sarcastic Dorothy Lines

  • Avatar of mrsfleeshman

    mrsfleeshman

    [21]Nov 8, 2006
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    Dorothy: The Great Herring War? Rose: Between the Lindstroms and the Johannsens. Dorothy: Oh, THAT Great Herring War. Rose: Well, I'm here if you want to pick my brain. Dorothy: Thank you Rose, but maybe we should let it heal first

    Rose: You... you... you rude person. Dorothy: Go easy on him, Rose.
    Sophia: And what will I do when every other old lady on the block is watching The Cosby Show? Dorothy: Well, ma, I guess you can sit on the new driveway and hope an amusing black family comes along.
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    --Aenar--

    [22]Jan 28, 2007
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    hi everyone. I'm desperately searching for a quote. I'm not quite sure, but I think Dorothy says "What is this, Blanche? The Oprah Winfrey show?"
    Unfortunately I can't find it anywhere. Maybe you know it and can tell me from which episode it is. Thanks a lot.
    Edited on 01/28/2007 10:54am
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    VoteforCranny

    [23]Feb 9, 2007
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    Dorothy is my favorite.

    Rose: Can i ask a dumb question?
    Dorothy: Like no one else.

    Blanche: Since when do you care how you look?
    Dorothy: I think it started when i came down from the bell tower and had my hump fixed!

    Dorothy: Get back here, you deceitful little Sicilian gecko!
    Sophia: I wuv you.
    Dorothy: Too wittle, too wate!
     
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  • Avatar of julesfon

    julesfon

    [24]Feb 18, 2007
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    Does anyone know which episode contains the following?

    Dorothy... "On a riverboat going down the Mississippi...Finish the damn story Blanche!"

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    mediashark

    [25]Feb 19, 2007
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    My favorite's are the Shady Pines ones. I love them.

    Blanch says something(I cant remember) So Dorthy holds out a pice of bread shoves it in Sophia's mouth and says "Bread Mom" Then Blanch says something else and Dorthy grabs Sophia's mouth and says "Chew it carefully Mom, Like they taught you to a Shady Pines"

    "Shady pines Ma"
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  • Avatar of PyleansDntLvMe

    PyleansDntLvMe

    [26]Mar 7, 2007
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    Of the insults between Dorothy and Sophia, I'm particularly fond of 'Swamp Insect!'
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  • Avatar of krestin

    krestin

    [27]Mar 7, 2007
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    Leonard (their neighbor): Listen, ladies, if there's anything that I can do for you to improve our relationship, I'd be happy to oblige.

    Dorothy: There is one small thing. In the morning, when you go out in your robe to pick up the newspaper... wear your shorts.

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  • Avatar of YamiMoonMage

    YamiMoonMage

    [28]Mar 17, 2007
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    vivaldi4 wrote:
    Dorothy to Rose about aging:
    Look, I'm five years older too, so is Blanche
    (Blanche looks at Doro with a frown)
    You have more wrinkles, I have more wrinkles, so has Blanche.
    (Blanche gasps insulted)
    And so you're a little thicker around the middle -- so is Blanche.
    (Blanche is mortified)

    lol
    lol!! I love that one!!
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  • Avatar of YamiMoonMage

    YamiMoonMage

    [29]Mar 17, 2007
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    Ok I just finished reading through these and i was laughing so hard i hit my knee on the desk
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  • Avatar of PiperPrueLover4

    PiperPrueLover4

    [30]Mar 19, 2007
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    I have two. The first one is when Stan is staying with them due to an injury or something... and then he makes this huge speech about how he doesn't want to go home cos he is scared and such, to which Dorothy replies:

    "Stanley, that is the first time you have opened up to me like that... and poured out such crap!"

    The second is when Dorothy and Rose are making a song about Miami. Rose is at the piano and begins to sing, "Miami is nice, so I'll say it twice, Miami is nice, Miami is nice". Dorothy then points out that "Miami is nice" is said 3 times. The following conversation ensues.

    Rose: Well how about this: "Miami is nice, so I'll say it thrice"
    Dorothy: Thrice, Rose?!
    Rose: It's a word!
    Dorothy: So is intra-uterine, but it doesn't belong in a song.
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  • Avatar of blizair09

    blizair09

    [31]Jun 6, 2007
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    My two faves (in order):
    1.  When Dorothy's friend Jean (who is a lesbian) visits and Dorothy and Sophia tell Blanche.
    Blanche:  But isn't Danny Thomas one?Dorothy:  Not Lebaneze, Blanche, lesbian.Blanche:  Lesbian, lesbian, (gasp) LEZZBIEN....
    2.  When the girls are attempting to buy condoms at the store and Rose can't get the point.
    Dorothy (loudly):  Condoms, Rose; Condoms, Condoms, Condoms!!
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  • Avatar of blizair09

    blizair09

    [32]Jun 6, 2007
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    "Who the hell says thrice, Rose?"
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  • Avatar of buffalony32

    buffalony32

    [33]Jun 8, 2007
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    Delivery Man: Flowers for Blanche Devereaux? (pronounces it Deveruckks)

    Dorothy: Devereaux, it's only pronounced "Deverucks" in limericks.

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  • Avatar of iluvgilmore7791

    iluvgilmore7791

    [34]Jun 10, 2007
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    XenasSidekick wrote:

    Another one: Dorothy and Blanche are coming into the kitchen with pizzas.

    Rose: "What do you got?" - Dorothy: "Chicken, Rose. I hope you like it flat and crunchy!" 

    That's so funny. I love dorothy.
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  • Avatar of PiperPrueLover4

    PiperPrueLover4

    [35]Jun 11, 2007
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    This is following on from blizair09's one.

    (They're making up a song about Miami)

    Dorothy: Who the hell says thrice, Rose?
    Rose: It's a word!
    Dorothy: So is intrauterine... but it doesn't belong in a song.


    LOL I love that line! It is the one I'll remember to the grave.

    Edited on 06/11/2007 3:04am
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  • Avatar of cuddles3

    cuddles3

    [36]Jul 8, 2007
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    flashgarrick wrote:
    (Blanche is talking about "Little Richard," the son of her millionaire boyfriend.) Rose: Little Richard was in Bermuda?! Dorothy: Yes, he was burying Fats Domino in the sand.

    You guys are killin' me here!

    Some great quotes in this thread! Here's mine...

    (talking about Sophia)

    Blanche: She walked in on me and William last night. I could have fallen off my headboard and chipped a tooth. Rose: You think that's bad? She came into my room while Albert and I were reenacting the plank-walking scene from "Peter Pan".Dorothy: What the hell goes on in this house at night?

    Rose: Oh, come on, Dorothy, that balloon man couldn't have been that terrible.
    Dorothy: I got the feeling I was the man's first date that wasn't inflatable.

    Dorothy: When a 22-year-old girl marries a man who's 80, chances are she is not after his body.

    Dorothy: It's wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine.

    Hee hee!

    Cuddles

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  • Avatar of millerem99

    millerem99

    [37]Jul 24, 2007
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    When Dorothy is told she can no longer be part of the Elvis Fan Club for making fun of the King:

    Dorothy (feigning sadness): I've just been kicked out of an unauthorized Elvis fan club. I'll try to pick up the pieces and move on. I mean, there must be a support group out there somewhere for people like me.

    Edited on 07/31/2007 11:21am
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  • Avatar of sara1104

    sara1104

    [39]Jul 25, 2007
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    PiperPrueLover4 wrote:

    This is following on from blizair09's one.

    (They're making up a song about Miami)

    Dorothy: Who the hell says thrice, Rose?
    Rose: It's a word!
    Dorothy: So is intrauterine... but it doesn't belong in a song.


    LOL I love that line! It is the one I'll remember to the grave.


    Then rose says, miami is cuter than, and iner-uterine. funny
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  • Avatar of vanlord_52

    vanlord_52

    [40]Jul 26, 2007
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    I think that all of Dorothy's comebacks are hilarious. Especially the ones that are bashing Rose's stupidity.

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