Dorothy: Ma, how would you react if one of your kids was gay?
Sophia: Your brother Phil is gay? I knew it! When he was twelve we couldn't tear him away from those Gladiator movies!
Dorothy: Ma, Phil is not gay.
Sophia: You mean you're gay? What, is your friend Jean having some sort of membership drive? I know you don't get many dates, but stick with what you know. At your age it's very hard to break into something new.