Rose: Why do people die, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Rose, please. I don't even know why fools fall in love!
Mrs. Claxton: I live by myself because I like it! I have no use for people, and I never have. I'll see you inside. (leaves)
Dorothy: (when Sophia starts going after her) Ma, where are you going?
Sophia: To throw some holy water on her.
Dorothy: Mr. Pfeiffer--
Mr. Pfeiffer: It's Puh-feiffer. The P is not silent.
Dorothy: Mr. Puh-feiffer, about the puh-funeral.
Blanche: Why, Mrs. Claxton. How lovely to see you again.
Freida Claxton: Who are you?
Blanche: I'm your neighbor, Blanche Devereaux.
Freida Claxton: Oh, yes. The slut. I hardly recognize you with your clothes on.
Blanche: I beg your pardon?
Freida Claxton: With my binoculars, I have a terrific view in your bedroom window. I think some of the stuff you do is illegal. I'm looking onto it.
Blanche: Why, you miserable old-
(Dorothy stops Blanche)
Dorothy: (to Blanche) Let's try and get along. (to Freida Claxton) Okay, Mrs. Claxton. I don't know if you remember me. Dorothy Zbornak?
Freida Claxton: Sure. I know you. You're the one with nothing going on in your bedroom.
Dorothy: Why, you miserable little-
Rose: No no! Dorothy!
(Rose grabs Dorothy as she angrily approaches Freida Claxton)
Blanche: Sophia, I tell ya, we can't do that.
Sophia: Why not?
Dorothy: Because stapling a $20 bill to the petition is illegal. It's bribery, and don't tell us that's how you did things in Sicily.
Sophia: That's not how we got things done in Sicily. That's how we got things done in New York. In Sicily, you cut off a horse's head and put it in somebody's bed.
(Mr. Pfeiffer is trying to set a date for Ms. Claxton's funeral service)
Mr. Pfeiffer: How about Thursday night?
Sophia: Not Thursday, hell no!
Mr. Pfeiffer: Oh, I forgot. The Cosby Show.
Sophia: Hey Puh-feiffer, how would you like a punch in your puh-face?
Dorothy: Last Halloween half the kids in the neighborhood wore Freida Claxton costumes.
Blanche: I happen to be an excellent orator, and several of the councilmen can attest to that.
Dorothy: Blanche, "orator" means speaker.
Blanche: Oh. Really? Well, someone else can do the talking.
Sophia: You know when you told her to drop dead?
Sophia: I think she did!
Blanche: Dorothy, did you hear a lot of screaming and moaning in the middle of the night?
Dorothy: No, but when your door is closed, I usually don't hear anything.
Blanche: Sophia, did you hear some ghastly noises in the middle of the night last night?
Sophia: Heard 'em? I made 'em. There's a reason they put an expiration date on cottage cheese.
Dorothy: That's a lovely story Rose.
Rose: I'm only half done.
Sophia: I once passed a kidney stone that was less painful than this!
Sophia: When somebody you know dies, you go to their furneral to show the man upstairs that you have regard for human life no matter how wretched it was. Any idiot knows that.
Rose: I knew that.
This episode was videotaped on September 23, 1986.
The outside of the church and the "Mortuary" sign is the same one used in the show "Will & Grace", where Grace visits a dear friend who she thought was dead
The background shot during the closing credits features the four ladies in the funeral home looking on at the funeral director, who is off-screen.
Nan Martin would appear again in season 4's, 100th Episode "Foreign Exchange" as Philomena Bosco.
Dorothy: Really, Rose? I always thought Churchill said that at Yalta.
This is a reference to the Yalta Conference which was a wartime meeting which took place from February 4-February 11, 1945.
"It's A Miserable Life"
The title of this episode is a play on the movie It's a Wonderful Life where a man attempting suicide finds out what the world would be like if he'd never been born.
Sophia: (about Freida Claxton) I'm going to throw some holy water on her if she spits up pea soup and her head spins around, we're in big trouble.
In the movie The Exorcist the girl's head spun around, she spit up pea soup and screamed in agony when holy water was thrown on her.
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