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The Golden Girls

Season 5 Episode 13

Mary Has a Little Lamb

Aired Unknown Jan 06, 1990 on NBC
out of 10
User Rating
45 votes

By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

Mary Has a Little Lamb
The girls take in a 16-year old girl who has just found out she's pregnant and her father's thrown her out. Meanwhile, Blanche's prison pen pal has just been released and is looking for her.

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  • A side plot saves the episode

    I don't really love this episode, although it's not awful. What saves it is the side plot between Blanche and Merrell. It seems weird that they randomly decided to stick a pregnant girl in the neighborhood with the Golden Girls and act like she'd lived there for a long time, and there's nothing particularly funny about it either. When I watch this episode I try to skip the parts that focus on Mary and just watch the scenes about Merrell. Those are incredibly funny. I've always thought it's too bad that it didn't either get its own episode or be placed in one where the main plot didn't suck as much. I do like that Dorothy tells a St. Olaf story, though. I just wish the rest of the plot had been more amusing.moreless
  • The girls take in a young, unmarried pregnant woman who has had communication difficulties with her father. Dorothy tries to get her father to understand, while Blanche's pen pal is released from jail and seeks a relationship.moreless

    It's hard to identify with characters who only appear once with no decent explanation as to who they are, and who are never once mentioned again. Given Dorothy's similar situation as a teen, it is fitting that she becomes a mentor to the girl. The subplot involves Blanche avoiding a convict who has come looking for her, which I found much more entertaining. While the teen pregnancy issue is socially relevant, I don't think it works here because you don't know who this girl really is to the four women. Was she just there for the sake of a story for an episode? Was she there just to make a connection with Dorothy? It may have been more interesting if the audience was shown a little more about who this girl was.moreless

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

  • QUOTES (11)

    • Sophia: Now, where was I?
      Dorothy: You were humiliating me.
      Sophia: Yeah. Right. The slut. And after all she did to me, did I turn her out?
      Dorothy: You tried, Ma!
      Sophia: But did she go? No. And look at us today. No one could love a daughter more.
      Dorothy: Thanks, Ma.
      Sophia: So what if I don't respect her?

    • Rose: Maybe we should sign Mary up for some natural childbirth classes.
      Dorothy: You know, that's not a bad idea. I wish I'd known about them when I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do except scream at Stan never to touch me again, and call him every name in the book.
      Rose: Rough labor?
      Dorothy: Rough conception.
      Blanche: Oh, she doesn't need those classes. I think women ought to have babies the way God intended - strapped to a table, numb from the neck down.

    • Merrill: I'm Merrill. Are you Blanche?
      Dorothy: No.
      Merrill: (to Sophia) How about you, cutie?
      Merrill: Boy, this guy's done hard time.
      Dorothy: Uh, no, Blanche isn't here, and, uh, she won't be back for a long, long time.
      Merrill: That's all right. I've been in prison ten years. I'm real good at waiting.

    • Dorothy: Seems like old times, huh?
      Mary: Oh, I love this house. I love this room. I feel so safe here. After I'd visit Mom in the hospital, I always was so glad to come back here. Now here I am again...only this time, I'm pregnant. It's funny, huh?
      Dorothy: What's that, honey?
      Mary: Well, it's just that I have another human being inside of me, and I've never felt more alone.
      Dorothy: Mary, that's why you have to talk to your father.
      Mary: No way.
      Dorothy: Listen, this is the most difficult thing for a father to accept.
      Mary: What? That I'm a grown woman?
      Dorothy: But you're not a grown woman. Just because the plumbing's in doesn't mean the house is ready to occupy.
      Mary: I think I know what you're getting at.
      Dorothy: Good, because I really didn't make that up myself. I heard it on This Old House.

    • Sophia: (to Mary's father) You feel that because Mary went out and got herself pregnant, she's a slut. Well, let me tell you what a slut is. It's someone who gets knocked up in the back seat of a Studebaker at a drive-in movie. It was a Studebaker, wasn't it Dorothy?
      Dorothy: It was a Nash, Ma.
      Sophia: Now, that's a slut.

    • Mary: Well, I tried talking to my father, but he just went all crazy when I told him.
      Dorothy: Well, that's what fathers do - they yell, and they barbecue. That's what separates them from the apes.
      Mary: Well, what did your father do when he found out you were pregnant?
      Dorothy: He chased Stan for three blocks with a salami.
      Mary: How come?
      Dorothy: They don't leave marks. When he finally cooled down, he realized that he loved me more than anything in the world, which was lucky for me, because I never needed him more than I did then.

    • Sophia: So Mary, when's the baby due?
      Dorothy: Ma, this is a 16 year old girl.
      Sophia: A knocked up 16 year old girl.
      (Mary stays silent)
      Dorothy: Ma, how did you know?
      Sophia: You had that same look of panic on your face when you told me.

    • Rose: Let's go into the kitchen and I'll fix you some pickles and ice cream.
      Mary: Oh I haven't had any strange cravings yet.
      Rose: Strange?

    • Dorothy: I apologize for this story. Have you ever heard of a town called St. Olaf?
      Fred: No.
      Dorothy: Good.
      (starts St. Olaf story)

    • Dorothy: [Sophia enters the kitchen carrying a letter] Oh, hi, Ma.
      Sophia: Listen to this, "If I were truly free, o fire of my loins. I'd take you to a paradise in the sun where we could lie naked, bronze body against pearl body, locked in a frenzy of love.
      Dorothy: Ma, who wrote that?
      Sophia: Merrill Kellog.
      Dorothy: Merrill... Who's he?
      Sophia: Ask Blanche. It's her letter.
      Dorothy: [snatches the letter from Sophia] This is from that guy in prison Blanche has been writing to.
      Rose: How are you going to explain this opened letter to Blanche?
      Sophia: [taking the letter back from Dorothy] Don't worry. I'll take care of it.
      Blanche: [entering the kitchen] Morning, girls.
      Sophia: Morning, Blanche. Rose opened your letter.
      [hands it to Blanche and leaves]
      Rose: Blanche, I didn't!
      Blanche: Oh, it's no problem, honey. It's just another letter from Merrill. I'd read it to you anyway. It's not personal.
      Dorothy: Not personal! Blanche, the man says he wants to lie naked with you on a beach.
      Blanche: Well, sure. And I wrote him that I wanted to make passionate love to him in a hammock suspended between two magnolia trees. You know that couldn't possibly happen!
      Rose: Well, maybe if you lose a few pounds.
      Blanche: [obviously miffed] Shut up, Rose.

    • Merrill: Oh Call me Moose, everybody back in prison always did.
      Sophia: What a coincidence! That was Dorothy's nickname in elementary school, remember Dorothy?
      Dorothy: No I don't.
      Sophia: Look, Moose.
      Merrill & Dorothy: What?

  • NOTES (2)