The Golden Girls

Season 1 Episode 11

The Return of Dorothy's Ex (a.k.a.) Stan's Return

2
Aired Unknown Nov 30, 1985 on NBC

Episode Recap

In the kitchen, Blanche prepares a cup of tea while Rose reads through some magazines. Blanche asks what she thinks, and Rose says that she can't decide which place is the best for a vacation. Blanche tells her that Martinique is a perfect place, and adds that all of the men there speak French. Rose asks what the women speak. Blanche says that everyone speaks French. Rose says that they can't go there because she doesn't speak any French. Blanche assures her that she only has to know how to say yes and no, your roommate can't watch. Rose was thinking more along the lines of Williamsburg, Virginia, or Washington, D.C. Sophia comes into the kitchen, and asks Rose if she's moving. She states that it would be more touching if Sophia liked Rose more. Rose tells Sophia that she's not moving. She tells her that she, Blanche, and Dorothy are planning a vacation together. Sophia asks why she wasn't included. Rose says they were hoping that Sophia could watch the house while they were gone. Sophia suggests they take the ground, and she'll stay and watch the hole left in the ground. Dorothy greets everyone in the kitchen, and as Sophia leaves, she remarks that Brooke Shields takes her mother everywhere with her. Rose tells Dorothy that Sophia found out about their vacation. Blanche thought that Dorothy was going to talk with Sophia about it. Dorothy says that she was just waiting for the right moment; which would be them landing in the New York Airport. Blanche says that she wanted to go to an island. Dorothy says that, technically, New York is an island. Blanche says that she meant an island where men that don't speak English rub oil all over their bodies. Dorothy says that they can take a ride on the subway if they want that. Sophia pokes her head through the kitchen door to tell Dorothy that Stan's here. Blanche asks what he's doing here. Dorothy tells her that Stan needs her signature on a few papers so that's why he stopped by. Dorothy asks Sophia where Stan is. Sophia tells her that she left him on the doorstep so that the neighbors can see the idiot that she married.



As Dorothy walks to the door, Sophia asks where the vacation spot on the earth is located where they don't allow mothers to go. Dorothy tells her that they'll discuss it after Stan leaves. Sophia says that they shouldn't have to discuss it, and is angry that the girls would leave her to watch the house like a watchdog. She jokes that she hopes the neighbor stops by to give her fresh water. Dorothy opens the door, and Stan comments that she looks beautiful and moves in to give her a hug. Dorothy tells him no hugging and no kissing. She just wants him to do it, and get it over with. Stan jokes that it sounds like the last few years of their marriage. Dorothy wishes it were that good. Stan says that it wasn't that bad, and Dorothy agrees that at least it's over. Stan greets Sophia, and asks him if he brought the young girl that he left Dorothy for. Dorothy tells her to stop talking about his new wife, but then turns around and asks the same question. Stan tells them that she's back in Maui, and the reason he's here is to sell a piece of property that he and Dorothy owned when they were in Miami on their honeymoon. Sophia asks Dorothy to read it first because the last time he had her sign something she ended up in an elderly home. Stan tells her that it was just a piece of property that he and Dorothy were planning to move to when they one day retired. Dorothy tells Stan that she can't sign this now. Stan is confused. Dorothy says that they have to sign it in front of a notary public, and adds not to call her babe. Stan asks if she can meet him at the notary's tomorrow. Dorothy asks if she has a choice. Stan calls her beautiful, and kisses her on the cheek. He tells her that he'll call and make the arrangements if she meets him there. He says goodbye to the women and on the way out the door adds that Sophia is beautiful too. Dorothy asks why she ever married Stan. Sophia says it's because he knocked her up. Dorothy asks why she ever let that happen. Sophia says it was because he got her drunk. Dorothy asks why she's even discussing this with her. Sophia hasn't the slightest idea.



The next day, Dorothy and Stan stop at a little café for some lunch. Stan asks Dorothy if she only wants coffee because the corned beef is really good. Dorothy says that she didn't even want the coffee, and adds that Stan was the one that said it would be rude if she didn't join him. Dorothy thought that his new wife had him eating roots, sprouts, and green things that grow under boats. Stan asks for her not to talk about Chrissy. Dorothy notes they had a bitter divorce that has softened over time for them to have a hostile relationship. Dorothy admits that their topics of conversation are limited. Stan tells Dorothy that they just sold a piece of property that they had bought on their honeymoon, and asks if she feels sentimental at all. Dorothy admits that she doesn't. Stan suggests that they take a drive out to the property to take one more look at it. Dorothy jokes that two hours in the car with her ex-husband to go look at a piece of swampland that they don't own anymore proves that Stan really knows how to show a girl a good time. Stan bursts into tears, and admits to Dorothy that Chrissy left him for younger men. Dorothy jokes that she's probably meeting them at Camp Snoopy. Stan says that he didn't want to say anything, and tells Dorothy she has every right to gloat. Dorothy says that she deserves to gloat a lot, but that she won't because she knows what the pain feels like. She then notes that she can't finish the sentence because she usually makes a reference to him when he's not around. Dorothy asks when it happened. Stan tells her it was a couple of months ago when he told her that she didn't think they were sexually compatible anymore. Stan admits she didn't use those exact words, and Dorothy says he's right because those words usually involve more than one syllable. Stan says that she found a younger surfboard guy, and that was the end of their marriage. Dorothy admits that he's taking it rather well. Stan admits that it's a front, and asks Dorothy if she's going to tell him that she told him so. Dorothy shakes her head no. Stan tells Dorothy that she's a good person, and asks if she wants half of his sandwich. Dorothy jokingly thanks him for the half a pound of cholesterol in the sandwich. Stan asks if she's sure she doesn't want to go on the drive with him. Dorothy says that the day's shot anyways and says that she would love to go. Stan says that after that he can take her to dinner, and suggest a seafood place he took her on their honeymoon. Dorothy agrees with that. Stan says that he remembers that night because they excused themselves during the main course to rush back to the hotel. Dorothy remembers that they ran back to the hotel because Stan had the runs from the cheap lunch he bought earlier that day. Stan remembers now, and the two finish their meal.



Back at the house, Blanche tells Rose that it doesn't matter what Dorothy says because she's not spending her vacation in New York. Rose says that she's never been to New York, and thinks going there may be interesting. Sophia is shocked that she hasn't been there because she's such a cosmopolitan. Blanche tells her that she's not missing a thing, and notes that the people are rude, the streets are full of criminals, and everything is overpriced. She adds that she doesn't understand why Frank Sinatra sings about the city because it's full of sickos. Rose says that they could go to Hollywood. Sophia jokes that there are no sickos there. Blanche tells Sophia that they're really trying to make a difficult decision here. Sophia excuses herself and is sorry that she can't talk about it, or go on the vacation. Sophia jokes this is the same deal that Cinderella had with her step sisters. Rose says that she always wanted to visit Hollywood, and says that when she was a little girl she used to dream of being a movie star. She says that the man that owned the drug store down the street, Mr. Mason, said that she reminded him of a young Barbara Billingsley. When she was 17, she told her father that she wanted to take acting lessons. Blanche asks what her father told her. Rose tells her that he said no. Blanche comments it's not a bad story, but also adds that Hollywood isn't a bad idea. Rose asks if they should tell Dorothy, and Blanche says that they will when she gets up. They drink to the idea, but spit it out as Stan walks into the kitchen in a pink bathrobe to wish them all a good morning. Stan jokes that the girls must not have recognized him without his toupee on. Blanche nervously adds that that was the reason. Stan asks if he can use the phone. Sophia notes that Stan used Dorothy without her permission. Rose tells him that there's a phone in the living room he can use. Stan leaves, and Dorothy walks in to see everyone staring at her. Dorothy admits that it looks bad, and then admits that that's exactly what it is. Sophia asks why she couldn't bring home a sailor on a street corner. Rose says that they're just a little surprised. Dorothy says that she didn't expect it either, and tells them what happened while they were out and Chrissy leaving him. Blanche says that it's the oldest excuse in the book, and says that she hears that from men she dates at least twice a week. Sophia adds that it works every time. Blanche retorts that she said it was old, but didn't say that it didn't work. Dorothy says that Chrissy did leave him, and Stan was devastated. She says that he was crying, she was holding him, they were in bed, and it happened. Rose says that she is shocked. Dorothy says that she is too, and adds that Chrissy didn't teach Stan a thing. Sophia says that if Stan's moving in, she's moving out. Dorothy assures her that Stan is not moving in, and they are not getting back together. She says that it was one night of passion, and nothing more. As she walks out of the kitchen, she hears Stan on the phone ordering 6 dozen roses, and sending them to Dorothy with a card talking about their new beginning. Dorothy shuts the door, and doesn't know what to think.



Later, Dorothy starts to arrange the flowers that Stan sent her around the house. Rose tells Dorothy that she and Blanche are going to talk to the travel agent about their trip, and asks if she wants to come with them. Dorothy says that she's not so excited about going to Hollywood because she doesn't want to sit on a tour bus looking at houses that may or may not be Lucille Ball's. Blanche says that she's not going to New York to get groped, robbed, and assaulted. Rose says that she'll be happy to go anywhere that they don't spit on Americans. Dorothy says that she can't go to the travel agency because Stan called and is dropping by. Blanche asks if he's bringing her more flowers. Rose doesn't understand why Stan sent her flowers at all because two days ago they hated each other. She adds that she doesn't understand how two people that go to a business meeting later end up in bed together. Rose adds another point that she doesn't understand why Dorothy didn't tell Stan this morning exactly how she felt about everything. Dorothy asks if Rose is finished, and asks if there's anything else that she doesn't understand. Rose says there is something else, and says she doesn't understand how a thermos can keep things both hot and cold. Dorothy says that she doesn't either, but jokes that if she ever sleeps with Mr. Wizard she'll let her know. Dorothy apologizes, and adds that last night shouldn't have happened but it did and it means more to Stan than she thinks. Dorothy says that Stan is hurt and vulnerable right now. Rose asks why she didn't tell him that this morning. Dorothy says that she was too shocked and afraid to tell Stan. She adds that she doesn't really know what she wants to tell him. Blanche asks what she means. Dorothy says that she's totally confused about how she feels about Stan. Just then, Stan knocks on the door, and he is greeted by Blanche and Rose. Stan asks that they not leave on his account, but Dorothy jokes that they have to because they're attaching the house to the car so that they can use it in the Rose Parade. Rose and Blanche leave to go to the travel agent.



Stan asks Dorothy if she didn't like the flowers. Dorothy says they're beautiful, but that it's all just too much. Stan agrees because roses have gone up since the last time he sent her some. Dorothy notes that everything has become more expensive since Truman left office. Dorothy tell Stan that they have to talk about last night. Stan agrees, and asks what she thinks about them getting back together. Before she can say anything, Sophia comes through the door with a bunch of her friends. Dorothy asks Sophia what she's doing. Sophia says she's having a meeting with her vacation club because apparently there are a lot of people that like to leave their mothers home while they go on vacation. Dorothy asks why they're all here. Sophia says that none of them have ever heard of a woman that went to bed with their ex-husband. She points out Stan, and tells the women that she can't explain it either. Dorothy tells Stan that they should continue their talk in the kitchen. Stan agrees.



In the kitchen, Dorothy doesn't understand why he wants to suddenly get back together with her and adds that they're divorced. She reminds him that he walked out on her, and ended up marrying another woman. Stan knows he's rushing things, but notes that they had 38 years together, and it was a good relationship. He doesn't understand how a single mistake can ruin all of that. Dorothy tells him that was one really stupid mistake. Stan asks if he was the first guy to come up on a midlife crisis and react the way he did. Dorothy says no, but that he was the first one that she was married to. Stan asks for her to hear him out. He says that he knows what she's thinking about last night not meaning anything. Stan says that she's wrong because the fact that it happened proved that there is something between them, and they have a chance to start over. He says they can go on the cruise they wanted to go on, open the antique store Dorothy wanted to open, and they could stop the sale of that property so that they can settle in a home they both dreamed of. Stan says there are so many things that they can do together that they can't do alone. Stan tells Dorothy that she doesn't have to answer now, but asks that she really thinks about it. He adds that he loves her, and says that it's taken him awhile to realize just how much he always has. He leaves. Dorothy stands in the kitchen for a moment wondering what she should do. When she walks out, Sophia and the women are still sitting outside. Sophia tells her not to take him back, and notes that it's not just her opinion. She says the women took a vote on the matter. They all nod their heads in agreement.



Later that night, Dorothy asks what Blanche and Rose are still doing up. Blanche says they were waiting for her, and tells her to sit down and have some food. Rose says that they wanted to see if she wanted to talk. Dorothy asks what they want to talk about, but Dorothy realizes they want to talk about Stan. Dorothy tells them that she hasn't decided what she wants to do about Stan. She doesn't know how she can forget all the wonderful times she had with him, but also adds that she doesn't understand how she can get over the pain and hate he made her feel when he left her. Dorothy doesn't know if she can trust him, and says that if you can't trust your husband, you don't have much of a relationship. Blanche notes that it sounds like Dorothy has made up her mind. Dorothy thinks she has, but didn't realize it until now. She wishes that there was a gentle way of telling him. Blanche tells her that there is no gentle way of ending a relationship with a man. She notes that when you're gentle with them, they don't get the message. Rose agrees with Blanche, and says that's the same problem she had with Eddie Parker. Rose tells the story to them that Eddie was a guy that was crazy about her, but she didn't feel the same about him. She says that when Charlie went off to war, she went to work for the U.S.O. Club, and that's where she met Eddie. She notes that Eddie was very height challenged aqua man. Blanche is confused, and asks if he was blue. Rose tells her that he was a diver, and he used to jump off a stepladder into a giant punchbowl. Dorothy asks what happened. Rose says nothing that he would swim to the side and hop out. Dorothy says that she meant what happened between her and Eddie. Rose says that they used to talk between shows, but she didn't realize just how much he was falling for her. Blanche notes that he didn't have far to fall. Rose says that it started with little things, and soon the situation got out of control and she tried to set him down gently. Blanche jokes that she tried to make it short and sweet. Rose says that he wouldn't take no for an answer so she told him straight out that she didn't feel that way about him. Rose says that it had nothing to do with his height, but that she couldn't become involved with anyone in show business. Dorothy thanks her for the story, but says that she still doesn't know what to say.



Dorothy arrives at Stan's hotel, and Stan invites her in. Stan says that he has refreshments for the occasion to celebrate. Dorothy asks if they're celebrating the fact that he got free champagne with the room. Stan says that they're celebrating what Dorothy said on the phone. Dorothy asks what she said. Stan says that she said in an enticing voice that she wanted to come see him at his hotel room. Dorothy says that she said that minus the enticing voice. Stan gets ready to make a toast, but Dorothy says that there are things that they have to talk about first. Before she can say anything, a knock on the door is heard. Stan thinks that it's the drycleaner bringing back his clothes, but it turns out to be his current wife, Chrissy. Chrissy says that she had to talk to him, and asks why he didn't return her phone calls. Stan says that there was nothing to talk about. Dorothy asks why Chrissy calls him Big Stan. Chrissy asks who Dorothy is, and Stan introduces Dorothy as his ex-wife and Chrissy as his soon-to-be ex-wife. Chrissy begs Stan to take her back, and says that she needs him back. She says that she was dumb to think the other guy to make her feel better, and says that she was wrong. She says she can't spend another night in the waterbed without him. Dorothy says that she understands, and hands the champagne glass to Chrissy. Stan tells her to wait, and tells Chrissy that there is nothing to discuss. Dorothy tells Stan that Chrissy flew all the way from Maui to tell him this. Chrissy tells Dorothy that she's a stewardess so she gets to fly for free. Dorothy says that the thought should count for something. Stan tells Chrissy that something happened here that made his feelings change. Dorothy tries to stop him from telling, but Stan says that Chrissy deserves to hear the truth. Stan tells Chrissy that it's over, and that he wants Dorothy back. He says that seeing Dorothy again made him realize just how superficial his relationship was with her. He adds that the sex was great, but that Dorothy agrees to this. He says that he has so much more with Dorothy, and tells Chrissy that there's nothing left for them, and there wasn't much in the first place. Chrissy throws the wine in his face and storms out of the room. Stan tells Dorothy that Chrissy never could hold her liquor. Dorothy asks if Stan was telling the truth when he said there never was much between him and Chrissy. Stan says that is true, and Dorothy is relieved because she says that it makes it easier. Dorothy tells Stan that she doesn't feel the same way about us that she does. Dorothy says that last night brought back memories, but she isn't the same woman that he walked out on 2 years ago. She says that her life has changed, and she likes being on her own. Stan asks if she's really saying she won't take him back. Dorothy says that things could never be the same they used to be. Stan asks again if that's what she means. Dorothy says yes. Stan asks a third time if she's sure. Dorothy tells him that he's sorry. Stan tells her he'd like to hear more, but that he needs to go down and get Chrissy back before somebody else takes her. Dorothy is shocked, but before he leaves Stan notes that terrific sex is better than nothing. Dorothy left alone does a toast for great sex, and to Chrissy, who's not going to get any.

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