The Golden Girls

Season 4 Episode 1

Yes, We Have No Havanas

1
Aired Unknown Oct 08, 1988 on NBC
9.0
out of 10
User Rating
60 votes
3

EPISODE REVIEWS
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Episode Summary

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Yes, We Have No Havanas
AIRED:
Blanche's latest boyfriend is a charming Cuban whom sweeps Blanche off her feet but she's not the only one when Blanche discovers he's been dating Sophia behind her back. Meanwhile, Rose takes a course taught by Dorothy in order to get a high school diploma.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • Blanche and Sophia fight over the same man and it's all out war. Meanwhile Dorothy and Rose are involved in a silly side story about high school and way too many Hitler references!moreless

    8.0
    By Season 4 the show had really hit its stride. The Blanche vs Sophia battle here for Fidel is filled with the kind of one liners that are the trademark of the series.

    Sophia's comments can sometimes come off as a little mean but here we finally get to see someone giving Blanche what she so richly deserves. When she calls her a fifty year old mattress it's really funny. Sophia works her magic and outwits Blanche as only she can.

    The side story doesn't cut it. After a silly Hitler joke, Dorothy pronounces that Rose is a high school graduate. Way too unrealistic, even for the Golden Girls.moreless
  • You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?

    8.3
    This is the type of episode that I just really seem to like to watch a lot... the jokes are funny and they don't get old, and it has an interesting plot. It's fun to see Blanche and Sophia competing for a man... who would have thought? I also love the way the episode ends. The funeral scene is great. The only thing I don't like about the episode is the side plot with Rose taking a class from Dorothy. Why?? Every other episode implies that Rose did graduate from high school, but even if she didn't, why the crap with Hitler being her high school teacher? That's so out of the realm of believability it's ridiculous, and unlike mose of the ridiculous stuff, they actually seem to expect you to buy this one. I don't like that at all, but the episode is still funny, one I thoroughly enjoy watching, and a highlight from the fourth season.moreless
  • To me, season four was when the show was at it's best.

    10
    I absolutely loved this whole storyline, except for the continuity errors that it brings up later about Rose graduating or not graduating from high school. I thought the whole Blanche and Sophia story was great and Rose taking a class at the school was very funny. This was a cleverly written episode.

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • TRIVIA (6)

    • Dorothy says she cannot believe her ears, Sophia responds with "I know. I should've taped them back when you were seven."  But, in Season 2's "The Sisters", Rose reveals a that Dorothy had her ears pinned back when she was in college.

    • GOOF:

      Rose asks Dorothy if they teach the "3R's", which she then rattles off as 'reading, (w)riting, and rooster insemination' (a play off the phrase 'reading, and (w)riting and (a)rithmetic').

      However, Roosters are male and DO the inseminating, and thusly would NEVER be inseminated themselves.

    • Although this is television logic, Dorothy enters the classroom and immediately starts taking role. After coming to Rose's name and after the two exchange some dialogue, Dorothy, for some reason, forgets that there's about 4-5 other students, who just apparently don't need to be accounted for, and she begins to teach.

    • Not only does Rose say she never graduated here, and yet say she did in another episode, in season five she mentions that after graduation she went to St. Gustav.

    • Rose says that she didn't graduate high school, but in the episode Nothing to Fear, but Fear Itself, Rose remembers how she gave the validictorian speech at the graduation ceremony.

    • Dorothy says that her father has been dead for 22 years, but in later episodes, it's 15 years.

  • QUOTES (18)

    • Blanche: How could he confuse this nubile body for that raisin in sneakers?!?

    • Rose: Dorothy, I have a confession to make, I slipped thru the cracks of the St.Olaf school sytem.
      Dorothy: (sarcastic) I find that very hard to believe, I've seen you almost complete a Tv guide crossword puzzle.

    • Rose: I got tickets to the hottest Norewegian Muscial in town!
      Dorothy: (sarcastic) Rose, you've really tempted me, but I do have other plans.
      Rose: You have a date?
      Sophia: (laughing so hard she chokes) Never say that when i'm eating!

    • (Earlier in the scene Dorothy hits rose on the head with her marking book)
      Blanche:(about Fidel) Why would he want another woman...he's dipped his toes in the lake known as Blanche.
      Rose: That wasn't dumb enough to deserve a hit?

    • Sophia: (at Fidel's funeral) The man in that box was a bum, a scoundrel, a cheat, and a liar.
      Woman: You got that right!
      Sophia: Quiet, I work alone. But there was another side to him, and it was beautiful. He awakened feelings in me I haven't felt in 35 years. We used to hug and kiss and hold hands. It was....it was nice. He made me feel attractive and desirable again. He probably made the rest of you feel that way, too. Looking out at this kennel club, that was no small accomplishment. You may all hate Fidel right now, but I know the next time I'm sitting in the park on a warm, sunny day, and I smell the aroma of a cheap cigar, I'll think of Fidel Santiago, and I'll smile.

    • Sophia: Excuse me, Father. Hold that thought. Which of you was Fidel's girlfriend? (all the women raise their hands)
      Blanche: Oh my God, he has his burro hitched to every bedpost in town!
      Rose: But that's good news, girls. That means your cheap, animal-like lust didn't have anything to do with killing Fidel.
      Woman: I'm leaving. I'm not about to mourn a man whose been with every woman in this room.
      Dorothy: Well, he was never with me.
      Woman: I guess even he had his standards.

    • Sophia: Blanche, I want to talk to you.
      Blanche: I'm in no mood to fight.
      Sophia: Neither am I. That's what I want to talk about. We've been at each other's throats for weeks. We've also been running ourselves ragged trying to outdo each other. It has to stop.
      Blanche: I'm not giving Fidel up, Sophia.
      Sophia: I am. I'm fighting a losing battle. You're younger, you're prettier. In the end, he'll choose you, and he'll break my heart. He's yours, Blanche. No hard feelings. (turns to leave)
      Blanche: Oh, Sophia, wait. Why don't you take Fidel? I have all those other boyfriends.
      Sophia: Okay. Good night! (walks out)

    • Blanche: (when she sees Fidel kissing someone else) What in hell is going on here?
      Fidel: Blanche--
      Blanche: How could you be so deceitful? What is it? Is she younger, more attractive, more desirable than I am?
      Sophia: (emerges from behind Fidel) You got two out of three, Blanche.

    • Blanche: (when she catches Sophia with her boyfriend) Sophia, what in hell in going on here?
      Sophia: He's a man, I'm a woman, I have what it takes, and he knows how to use it.
      Dorothy: I think I'm going to lose my lunch....

    • Blanche: I just hate you. I regret the day you ever moved in here.
      Sophia: And I regret the day I gave birth to you!
      Dorothy: Ma! Ma, I'm your daughter!
      Sophia: Oh, yeah. (pauses) I think I need a Bromo Seltzer.

    • Rose: Gee, Sophia! You're awfully cranky today.
      Sophia: Well, forgive me. But my arthritis is playing me up. My social security check was late. And I realized today I haven't showered with a man in 22 years!
      Dorothy: Ma, pop's been dead 27 years.
      Sophia: What's your point?
      Dorothy: Ma, what are you saying?
      Rose: Isn't it obvious, Dorothy? She showered with a dead man for five years.

    • Dorothy: (Doing a Register) ... Jim Shu?... Jim Shu? Oh I get it Gym Shoe - very funny!
      Jim Shu: [an oriental man] I'm Jim Shu.

    • Rose: Oh girls! Girls - guess what I got...
      Sophia: Wait a minute!
      Rose: I've got...
      Sophia: Wait a minute! Why do you always come into a room and say 'Girls! Girls!' Do you see Molly Ringwald sitting here?

    • Fidel Santiago: Blanche was right. She said you were incorrigible!
      Sophia Petrillo: I guess I deserve it - I always say she's a cheap slut!

    • Dorothy: Rose, you failed the history test.
      Rose: What does that mean?
      Dorothy: It means you got more wrong than right.

    • Sophia: 10:00 for dinner
      Blanche: Midnight for dessert
      (Pause... Fidel leaves the house)
      Rose: Midnight for dessert!
      Sophia: There's always room for Jello.

    • Sophia: Beat it you fifty-year-old mattress!

    • Blanche: Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go slip into a hot steamy bath with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.
      Sophia: You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?

  • NOTES (6)

    • This episode was videotaped on September 23, 1988.

    • One must wonder is Blanche truly so stupid and ignorant, considering how classy and worldly she always calls herself, that she would know Mexican is not a language?

    • The church used in this episode is the same church they used when the girls attended Mrs. Claxton's funeral in "It's a Miserable Life."

    • The background shot during the closing credits features Dorothy, Rose and Blanche in the church pew looking at Sophia who has taken over for the priest.

    • The exterior was now shots from the MGM Studios Backlot Tour Copy Facade of the original house used in through Season 3. You could see the facade of the house through the tour up until 2003.

    • Rose admits that when she attended school during WWII, the Third Reich came to St. Olaf to "dumb down" the students into thinking that they're the good guys, which explains why she flunked History.

  • ALLUSIONS (0)

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