The Good Guys

Season 1 Episode 2

Bait & Switch

Aired Friday 9:00 PM Jun 07, 2010 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Dan: (after Julius fixes the computer) Good work, Julius. Wow, it's like you're the computer-machine whisperer!

    • Dan: You said these characters were English. Could you translate anything they were saying?
      Julius: They were speaking English, Dan.
      Dan: I know they speak English. I just can't understand a damn thing they're saying unless they're singing. Were they singing?

    • Dan: What is your freaking problem? Kristen is offering herself up to you on a platter. It's like this woman is in heat.
      Jack: Dan, her name is Kiersten.
      Dan: Hey, man, it doesn't matter what her name is. You're never gonna see her naked. (turns around to see Kiersten standing next to him) I know I won't.

    • Jack: (sees Dan eating peanuts) You do know that you're only supposed to eat the part in the middle, right? You know, the peanuty part?
      Dan: Shell's the most nutritious part.
      Jack: You know that the shell is like 80% cellulose? That means that, essentially, you're eating tree bark.
      Dan: Salty, delicious tree bark.

    • Dan: (to Jack) What are you doing? What, are you writing a book? Who the hell do you think you are, Mariel Hemingway? We got bad guys down there!

    • Julius: Man, I've been in that stinking-ass trunk I don't know how long. I'm listening to some scary-sounding English car thieves and I'm thinking, "Great, I'm about to get killed and it's not even an American that's gonna kill me".
      Dan: What kind of English? Keith Richards English or Elton John English?
      Julius: You know what, I didn't stick around long enough to have tea.

    • Julius: Come on, you want to lock me in the trunk of your car so somebody steals it?
      Dan: Julius...
      Julius: Look, Julius nothing, man. I can't believe I came all the way out here for this. Come on, man, you all said you just needed one little favor.
      Dan: We need the tracky thingy. You know me. If I could hack your leg off, I would.

    • Nigel: (tries calling Kiersten) Straight to voicemail again.
      Alec: I imagine she's just busy.
      Nigel: I really love this girl, but she's driving me mad. She never answers the phone and takes her sweet time returning my calls. You don't think she's seeing someone else behind my back, do you?
      Alec: With all due respect, sir, perhaps if you could learn to fully put your trust in someone else, you'll find your relationships more fulfilling.
      Nigel: It's funny. I didn't realize you had a second career as a bloody advice columnist!

    • Jack: (sees Dan scratching his back with the computer's keyboard) Is that my keyboard?
      Liz: Dan, I'm pretty sure the taxpayers buy those computers so you can solve crime on them.
      Dan: Let me tell you, it's a crime how much my back itches.

    • Jack: (about Dan's car) We'll put a tracking device in it. We'll let them steal it. We'll trace the signal. We'll catch the bad guys. It's a piece of cake!
      Dan: How 'bout I let them steal you? Or, how 'bout somethin' you love? Your hair gel, your mother!
      Jack: Look, Dan are you really gonna let the bad guys go, because you're worried about your car? Come on! I thought you were all about bustin' punks.
      Dan: I have heard tell, "If you love something, set it free. And then track it down."

    • Dan: So Jacqueline, tell me somethin'. Uh, after she took your manhood where did she put it, like in a jar someplace?
      Jack: Are you implying that I am no longer a man, because I'm going out with Liz and her friend?
      Dan: Jack, she said goodbye, and punched you in the arm. Come on! The only place a woman should punch a man is in the face.
      Jack: (laughs) Ok. There's a story there, and I'm not asking what it is...
      Dan: Not long before you're just another one of the girls.
      Jack: So, watching baseball at a sport's bar makes me a girl?
      Dan: Exactly. Scared, helpless little girl.

    • Bailey: (to Stark about the laptop not working) I was only gone for thirty minutes. How many windows did you open up?
      Stark: I don't know what that means.
      Bailey: Oh! Dan, it's been infected with a virus!
      Stark: Computers can't get sick.
      Bailey: Yes, they do, Dan! The computer's frozen.
      Stark: Well, which is it? Is it sick or is it cold?
      Bailey: It's broken.
      (they both simultaneously realize they cannot track their "bait car" with Julius and his tracking device in the trunk)
      Bailey: Julius!
      Stark: My car!

    • Dan: We gotta get some medicine for the computer machine!

    • Stark: Hey, your father called, he wants his seed back.

  • Notes

    • International Episode Titles:
      Czech Republic - Jak napálit zloděje (How to Outsmart a Thief)

    • Featured Music:
      "Crazy Eights" - Tapes N' Tapes
      "Crazy On You" - Heart
      "Rock You Like A Hurricane" - The Scorpions

    • This episode was announced as the "Series Premiere" by Fox, with the pilot episode airing three weeks earlier as a "Series Preview".

    • Original International Air Dates:
      Canada: June 7, 2010 on Global
      Czech Republic: July 1, 2011 on Prima COOL

  • Allusions

    • The character Steve Valentine plays is named Nigel. This is an allusion to the NBC television drama Crossing Jordan (2001-2007), starring Jill Hennessy as Boston medical examiner Jordan Cavanaugh, who helps solve crimes. Valentine played the character Dr. Nigel Townsend, a British criminologist known for his quirkiness and wise-cracks.

    • Dan: That's a sign. It's like, "Jack, I wanna climb your beanstalk."
      Dan is alluding to the popular fairytale Jack and the Beanstalk, in which a boy named Jack trades the family cow for some magic beans. His mother angrily throws them out. Jack climbs the beanstalk that sprouts from them, encountering many adventures in the realm of a giant. The earliest print version from 1807 by Benjamin Tabart was titled The History of Jack and the Bean-Stalk.

    • Dan: (shouting into the night to his car) I will find you!
      Dan alludes to Daniel Day-Lewis' character Hawkeye shouting these words to Cora, the woman he loves, played by Madeleine Stowe in the 1992 movie Last of the Mohicans.

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