The Good Wife Season 1 Episode 16

Will: We represent murderers. We get them off.
Diane: No. We keep the courts honest.
Will: And why shouldn't the courts be kept honest about Bishop? Everybody deserves representation. Does that stop suddenly when it comes to--
Diane: A criminal organization whose sole purpose is to sell drugs and to murder to control territory?
Will: Sure. Put it any way you want, it's still a true statement.
Diane: We're doing this for the money.
Will: Of course we are. We're not a charity! We do this or we lay off half of Acquisitions. That's ten lawyers and ten families.
Diane: Not to mention your season tickets.

AUSA Rivers: Mr. Dorfman is in trouble. He's guilty, and his assets are frozen. It would be a mistake to represent him.
Will: Too late. I already am.
AUSA Rivers: As of when?
Will: As of ten seconds ago. Congratulations, Rivers. You just won Dorfman an attorney.

(on the phone)
Peter: How are you doing?
Alicia: Well, I almost got arrested this morning.
Peter: You... what?
Alicia: Do you know an AUSA named Rivers?
Peter: Yeah. Very intense guy. Out to save the world. Why, what happened?
Alicia: He was arresting this other lawyer-- it's a long story, but I almost got caught up in the sweep.
Peter: He's a zealot. Never look a zealot in the eyes.
Alicia: How are you?
Peter: Good. I made a BLT. I'm very proud of myself.
Alicia: You know, this is the closest we've had to a normal conversation.
Peter: Yeah. I like it.
Alicia: Maybe we should talk on the phone more.

Peter: I found condoms in your bedside table. I was looking for your letter opener. I thought maybe they belonged to Zach. You know, you found them in his room. But then I thought you wouldn't take them. You'd have a sensible conversation with him about responsibility. So then, I thought they were yours. But that didn't make sense because you have an IUD.
Alicia: I had it removed.
Peter: Oh, really? So condoms do make sense?
Alicia: They do.
Peter: For who? (she snorts and empties her handbag on the bed)
Alicia: Check it, Peter.
Peter: I said I was looking for your letter opener.
Alicia: I have other drawers, too. Did you check these ones? (she opens the wardrobe)
Peter: I said that I was looking...
Alicia: How about over here? Did you check this drawer?
Peter: What is it you need to hear from me? I will never touch another woman again.
Alicia: What do you want, a prize, Peter? It seems to be the minimum prerequesite.
Peter: For both of us.

Alicia: Are you tweeting about me?
Cary: Am I tweeting about you?
Alicia: Are you Upriser7?
Cary: What are you talking about?
Alicia: Someone's gossiping online about me.
Cary: And you thought it was me? (she doesn't respond, her face showing embarassment) Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, it's good to be working with you, too. (he walks away)

Will: Do you have a map?
AUSA Rivers: Do I have a what?
Will: A map, so I can show you where you live. That, my friend, was a Chicago defense. Get used to it.

Will: I would like a ruling on my objection.
Judge: You are trying my patience...
Will: I understand that, Your Honor, but we both know if you don't use the proper form of 'sustained' or 'overruled', the matter can't later be appealed. And I was surprised in reviewing your past court cases, how often you encouraged lawyers to move on without actually ruling, therefore avoided having your non rulings overturned on appeal. (he pauses) In my opinion.
Judge: Mr. Gardner, I have never been quite so offended in all my years on the bench.
Will: I understand that, Your Honor, but I still want a ruling. A ruling I can appeal.

Diane: Didn't we agree to not take this?
Will: No, we agreed to cut the flowers and the paper cups. The least I can do is take the cases I want.
Diane: You sure this isn't pride?
Will: Of course, it's pride. What's wrong with pride? Pride built the pyramids.
Diane: And Watergate.

Will: (about having a third partner) You're okay with giving up a third?
Diane: Of what, a sinking ship? Sure. We'll kill each other if we don't find a referee.
Will: A third partner? Someone neutral, someone we both agree on? (she nods and they clink glasses) An optimism fills the void.
Diane: I think that's alcohol.
Will: Just as good.

Eli Gold: See, I have a lot of friends. I'm sure you do too but the only difference is my friends are not in homeroom. So I want you to listen to me. Stop tweeting. If you tweet, I will know you tweet and I will--have you seen "Drag Me to Hell"? It will be just like that.

Diane: This is a power play, pure and simple.
Will: Nothing here is pure, and nothing here is simple.