The Hard Times of RJ Berger

Season 1 Episode 10

Behind Enemy Lines

0
Aired Sunday 11:00 PM Aug 09, 2010 on MTV - Music Television
8.4
out of 10
User Rating
23 votes
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Episode Summary

EDIT
Fretting over an upcoming biology exam, RJ hires Miles' ex military older brother to steal the test.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Riley Brock

    Riley Brock

    Logan

    Guest Star

    Alex Solowitz

    Alex Solowitz

    Chet Jenner

    Guest Star

    Chris Warren, Jr.

    Chris Warren, Jr.

    Patterson

    Guest Star

    Beth Littleford

    Beth Littleford

    Suzanne Berger

    Recurring Role

    Larry Poindexter

    Larry Poindexter

    Rick Berger

    Recurring Role

    Marlon Young

    Marlon Young

    Coach Jeriba Sinclair

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

    FILTER BY TYPE

    • TRIVIA (1)

      • The test scores that get posted on the board shows the names as Berger, Richard, and Swanson, Jennifer. It has previously been stated that Richie is RJ's name, which is short for Richard. In addition, that makes the J stand for Jr. RJ's dad's name is Rick, which is another shortened version of Richard. Jenny is, of course, short for Jennifer.

    • QUOTES (16)

      • (RJ's closing monologue, while filming Miles getting beat up, the same way that Miles filmed him and posted it on the internet.)
        Lily: Nice to be on this side for a change huh?
        RJ Berger: My name is RJ Berger, and THIS is goin' online...

      • Chet: (Clicking the circuit breaker off and on.) Well there's nothing wrong withyour box, but it looks like it hasn't been serviced in years...
        Ms. Lipski: (Under her breath.) You have no idea...

      • Miles: (After RJ expresses concern over whether or not they should break into a teacher's house to steal the answers to a test.) Look, don't think of it as breaking into Lipski's house... Think of it as... Breaking into Jenny Swanson's panties...
        RJ Berger: (Long pause while he thinks about that.) Help me open the window.

      • RJ Berger: Miles?
        Miles: Wait for it...
        RJ Berger: Miles?
        Miles: Wait for it...
        RJ Berger: Are you sure about this?
        Miles: Annnd there it is. The RJ Pusses Out Express, right on schedule.

      • Miles: (After Jenny tells RJ she's okay with meeting an hour later, during which time RJ plans on stealing the answers to the test.) See? Everybody win! (He puts his arm around RJ's neck and they walk off.)
        Lily: Yeah, everybody wins! Except Lily Miran and her vacant fun holes! (Stomps off after them.)

      • Miles: (After RJ finds out that Miles told the whole class he'd give them the answers to the test and gets pissed.) Hey hey hey! Relax! If everbody gets an A, Lipski won't be able to tell who cheated.
        Lily: You fat, stupid, piece of!... (Trails off.) Wait that actually makes sense...

      • RJ Berger: Coach, would you do something... you knew was wrong to get a girl to like you?
        Coach Sinclair: Berger, there ain't no right or wrong when it comes to gettin' up in that lady business... Look at Max up there... You think he cares about what's right or wrong? All that boy cares about it is draining his baskets, and draining his nuts. Now stop jawing, and give me a sit up, before I tie that albino anaconda of yours in a knot! Today!

      • Chet: (Telling RJ and Miles that they have to do things his way if they want his help stealing the test, and getting them to agree to those terms.) Good... Because the way I see it, there's only one way to handle this situation... We gotta kill her...
        Miles: Chet!!! Nobody's killing anybody, ok?! Come on... (Long pause while they all stare at each other.)
        Chet: HA HA!!! I'm just messing with you Suzy, why don't you take the broken glass out of your vag, bro!

      • Miles: (Trying to warn RJ that he needs to get Jenny an A on the test or Kevin Stern could end up as her tutor.) If you're not careful, that pizza grease is gonna end up in Jenny's uterus... (Staring at Kevin eating a pizza.)
        Kevin Stern: What are you lookin' at ass?!
        Miles: I'm looking at the biggest mistake I ever made, you rolling sack of acnes!
        Kevin Stern: (With his mouth full.) Hey, you go to hell!!!

      • RJ's Dad (Rick): (Staring at Jenny's ass.) I mean are you kiddin' me?
        RJ's Mom (Suzanne): Oy vey... You could bounce a quarter off that thing and get fifty cents back...

      • RJ's Mom (Suzanne): (After the door bell rings.) I'll get it!
        RJ Berger: (Running.) Mom! No! Please, don't, umm... Not tonight...
        RJ's Mom (Suzanne): Ugh! Excuse me?

      • RJ Berger: Dude! I'm trying to get back on Jenny's good side. Being the laughing stock of the internet doesn't really help.
        Lily: Honestly you should just forget about that whole Jenny thing.
        RJ Berger: Thank you, for your support Lily.
        Lily: I'm saying! Even if she did forgive you for nailing her boyfriend... (Miles gives a surprised look at the unfortunate choice of words.) There's no way she could handle that thing... (She says glancing downward.) Most high school girls couldn't...
        RJ Berger: It's too early for this...
        Lily: But I could RJ... Look at... look at me... (Gestures towards her eyes.) I can handle it. You know how I know? Because I spent the last two years, working my way up from Gerkins to summer squash...
        Miles: I'm gonna heave...
        Lily: Now I know I was was really working my way toward destiny... (She glances down lustily again, and walks off with a smile.)
        RJ Berger: What's a summer squash...?
        Miles: It's a gourd...

      • Miles: (After some girls laugh at RJ for getting beaten up.) Now now, just ignore them man. These things have a short life span.
        Lily: 40 thousand views in 12 hours?! I gotta hand it to you fatty, you know your audience.
        RJ Berger: What's got 40 thousand views...? DUDE! You put the fight online?!
        Miles: (Laughing.) I hardly call it a fight RJ...

      • Miles: (After Max thoroughly beats up RJ.) Oh dude! He let you off WAY easier than I thought!
        RJ Berger: Oh good... Cause from here it felt like I got the shit kicked out of me.

      • Lily: (As Max repeatedly punches RJ over and over.) Not in the penis!!!

      • (RJ's opening monologue.)
        RJ Berger: My name is RJ Berger. Two weeks ago I accidentally shot a 3 inch nail through the finger of THE most feared jock in school... Who just happens to be dating the girl of my dreams. Now, his finger is finally healed. And in 7, 6, 5 seconds, I'm going to hear the one sound I've been dreading all day... (Cuts to Max pinning RJ to the ground and punching him in the face over and over again.)

    • NOTES (5)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Chet: Wow, Mary Kate and Ashley came up with their own plan. This I gotta hear...

        Mary Kate and Ashley alludes to famous twin sisters Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, who rose to meteoric fame on the sitcom Full House. As they got older, they made a vastly successful business out of direct to DVD videos and merchandise aimed at teen girls. They are some of the richest young women in the entire world thanks to the business decisions, or plans, which they mostly come up with on their own.

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