Frank: Welcome to Transylvania.
Callie: And they have one heck of a story.
Fenton: Well, I haven't heard one of your stories yet that wasn't at least interesting.
Frank: I don't understand it. This room was full of furniture.
Joe: The second time.
Fenton: What do you mean by the second time?
Joe: Well, the first time we came in here there-
Frank: Do you really wanna tell him about that?
Fenton: I can sure tell you boys have been here. Frank, Joe. I'd recognize those sneaker tracks anywhere.
Mr. Hodges: Security wants to know how many sons you have.
Fenton: Just two.
Mr. Hodges: Yes, Captain, you have them all.
Joe: Well, at least we know a house can't fly away like a UFO.
Frank: Right now I wouldn't bet on it. Come on.
Joe: Curiousity killed the cat, if you recall.
Frank: This is crazy. It's like a fun house.
Joe: Not for me. I'm gettin' out of here.
Joe: I wouldn't exactly call this palce empty. Makes the Taj Mahal look like a redevelopment project.
Frank: There's no welcome mat.
Joe: Why do I have a feeling that wasn't an oversight?
(Looking at the house)
Joe: I suppose you're gonna wanna go in there.
Frank: We've come this far.
Joe: I had a feeling you were gonna say that.
Frank: Listen, flesh and blood doesn't just disappear.
Joe: Sometimes it does.
Gertrude: Fenton, was that the boys driving off in the van again?
Fenton: Unless somebody just stole the thing right out of our own garage.
Frank: Taber must've seen the flying saucer too.
Joe: I just hope so. At least that way we don't look like two space freaks.
Frank: Dad, you really don't wanna hear this.
Callie: Oh, personally, I can't wait.
Gertrude: Me neither.
Fenton: I'm all ears boys.
Frank: Well, there was this old road, it has sort of swerves and dips in it. I'm afraid I scratched up the van.
Fenton: You scratched up the van. That-That's what this is about?
Joe: Well, it wasn't Frank's fault.
Frank: Dad, what would you say if I told you that we were run off the road by a disc, a flying disc?
Fenton: I'd say that's the best story I heard since the 'F' you got in volleyball was because your shorts were too tight.
Gertrude: Have you eaten?
Frank: No, I'm starved. I could eat a horse.
Fenton: Uh, first the report. Then the horse.
Gertrude: Fenton, they're growing boys.
Fenton: And I'm a man of growing curiousity Gert.
Frank: How are we gonna prove to Dad what we saw?
Joe: You'll just have to tell him the truth.
Frank: Why me?
Joe: You're the oldest.
Frank: Taber's gone.
Joe: Forget about Taber. Do you see that thing?
Frank: I wish I didn't. Come on, before it takes off.
Joe: Wait a minute. (Takes a couple of pictures) We might be safer if it does take off.
(Looking at the flying saucer)
Frank: I don't know Joe. I was kind of hoping you didn't see what I see.
Joe: That only happens in movies like Casablanca.
Fenton: Call the police Callie. The boys are in terrible danger.
Joe: Well, just be thankful it's not flying.
Frank: There's another way in.
Joe: How do you know?
Frank: Desmond couldn't have made it to the house ahead of us. Not the way we were moving.
Joe: He always could've taken the flying you-know-what.
Joe: Okay, all you gotta do is honk the horn and that'll let us know Dad is on the line.
Frank: We'll come running.
Callie: What if I see your flying saucer?
Frank: Normally I'd think that was funny, but not here. You see that UFO make it two loud honks.
Fenton: While I'm gone, you boys stay out of trouble, huh?
Callie: Easy. Now all you two have to do is prove it.
Frank: No. Now all we three have to do is prove it.
Frank: I'm talking about holograms.
Callie: Holly who?
(Watching Frank watch a hologram dancing ballerina)
Joe: I knew this case would get to him sooner or later.
Fenton: He was working on a major project that had eerybody all worked up into a trouble.
Joe: Fantastic. What's he working on?
Frank: Yeah, what is it?
Fenton: I haven't the faintest idea.
Frak: It's nice to be on the inside of a new discovery.