Tom Bergeron: Who's popular album is titled "To Russell, My Brother, Who I Slept With"?
Susan: Angelina Jolie.
Tom Bergeron: Guy Ritchie said he and his wife Madonna said they haven't watched TV for three years to avoid seeing this. What?
Ali Wentworth: Well, no matter where you go, you'll find someone she slept with.
Bear: [after an advertisment with Susan Lucci cuddling him] Eat your heart out, Winnie the Pooh!
Tom Bergeron: The Chinese pour this on the statue of Buddha on his birthday. What?
Sally Jessy Raphael: Pigeon cleaners?
Tom Bergeron: When the pharoah did not let his people do, what did Moses do ten times?
Sally Jessy Raphael: Raised the mortgage.
Tom Bergeron: From the all-knowing Dr. Joyce Brothers, do people say they have a successful sex life?
Ali Wentworth: How do you define successful sex life?
Tom Bergeron: Believe it or not, the Anna Nicole Show won an Emmy. What'd it win?
Susan Lucci: Best trainwreck?
Tom Bergeron: According to the BBC news, what Egyptian queen dyed her hair red because she thought it made her look sexy?
Sally Jessy Raphael: Richard Simmons.
Tom Bergeron: In pioneer time, what did frontier women make with just the movement of the wagon?
Susan Lucci: Well, let's just say if the wagon's shakin', she's not bakin'.
When Tom Bergeron said, "You can scrub a pickle jar as many times as you want, but it'll still smell like a pickle jar," he was alluding to a crew member's having written a question.