User Score: 15372
The Kramdens and the Nortons are going on vacation together. The girls think they're going to Atlantic City, but the boys decide they want to go fishing at Fred's Landing. They get their way and wind up having to push their borrowed car halfway to Fred's. After two days at Fred's, Alice and Trixie are worn out cooking, cleaning, toting water, collecting firewood. They decide to annoy the boys enough to get them to want to leave. They don't know that Ralph and Norton are miserable too. Ralph decides he'll dress up in a bear suit to scare the girls into begging him and Norton to go home, so the boys can leave and save face at the same time. Ralph returns with the suit, to find Norton face to face with a real bear. Ralph admits he made a mistake wanting to go to Fred's and it's off to Atlantic City.
Running time: 31:36.
NOTE: This is a remake of "Vacation Plans" (5/30/1951), "Vacation At Fred's Landing" (5/30/52) & was remade as "Vacation At Fred's Landing" (6/19/1954).moreless
Ralph got a message that he has to speak at the next Racoon meeting. He has a fit because Alice took his uniform pants to the cleaners and he has nothing to wear. Ralph writes a speech and tries to memorize it but Alice and Trixie keep interrupting him. George Williams, the head of the lodge, enters and gives Ralph a note saying that at the meeting he is to introduce Brother Williams. Alice tells Ralph that he's the #1 Racoon in their house.
Running time: 13:41.moreless
A prowler has been spotted in the building. Alice is so scared that she can't sleep, so she makes Ralph stay up with her and barricade the door. Norton comes banging on the door and scares them. Trixie comes down to get Norton. Next thing you know, the prowler climbs in through the Kramden's window and hits Ralph on the head. Ralph gets knocked out and Alice screams. The police hear the screams and come in and arrest the prowler. Ralph recovers and tells Alice that as long as he's around, she has nothing to worry about.
Running time: 11:12.moreless
Ralph tries to get Tommy & Jimmy Dorsey for the Racoon's Ball. With the Dorsey's fighting, this becomes a much more tedious problem.
Running time: 34:57.
It's Alice's birthday and Alice has purchased a birthday gift for herself to be delivered for a chronically forgetful Ralph. A note attached reading "To my darling Alice. I love you now and forever. This is just a little something from the man who adores you", has Ralph up in arms thinking another man has digs for Alice. During a visit from friends, Ralph eyes potential home wreckers. Ralph punches the man he believes is the bum stealing Alice & everyone leaves. Alice explains her plan.
Running time: 14:50.
NOTES: This episode is still lost.
This was remade as "Alice's Birthday" (12/7/1968).moreless
Ralph thinks he's appointed manager of the bus company, when in fact it's actually the company's soft ball team.
Running time: 9:59
NOTE: This is a remake of "Manager Of The Baseball Team" (5/16/1952) & was remade as "Manager Of The Baseball Team" (6/1/1957) & "The New Manager" (4/19/1969).moreless
Ralph invited Freddie Muller and his wife over for dinner. Freddie is in charge of giving out the upcoming promotions at the bus company so Ralph is trying to make a pitch for himself. The only problem is that every time Ralph tries to speak to Freddie about the promotions, Alice interupts before Ralph can say anything. Alice turns on the radio and they all start dancing the mambo. Norton comes in and reminds Alice that Trixie was waiting for her to go to a club meeting that night. The Mullers go home and Ralph balls out Alice for not giving him a chance to speak about the promotion. Freddie comes back because his wife forgot her purse and, upon leaving, tells Ralph that all the other bus drivers invited him over only to talk about the promotions. He thanks Ralph for not bringing it up. It looks like Ralph is gonna get his promotion after all.
Running time: 9:56.moreless
Mrs. Raferty is throwing a surprise party for her husband and while Ralph isn't home, she asks Alice to hide the turkey and cake in her apartment. She asks the Kramdens to attend the party but Alice says no because Ralph is on a diet and all the food would be too tempting. The diet is driving Ralph crazy. For dinner, Alice made him a raw vegetable salad. He tries to get his mind off food, so he turns on the radio but hears a commercial for fried chicken and puts his fist through it. Alice leaves and Ralph discovers the cake and turkey that Alice hid in the bureau drawer. He goes into an eating frenzy and tears apart the tukey and cake. Alice offers to replace the food and Ralph gets to finish his feast after promising Alice that he'll begin a new diet tomorrow.
Running time: 11:39.
NOTE: This was remade as "A Weighty Problem" (4/16/1955).moreless
The Nortons have had their apartment painted and they can't stand the smell of paint. Trixie comes down at 3am and asks if they can stay down there for the night. Ralph ends up sleeping in the kitchen with Ed on a cot that collapses as soon as Ralph lays down. Norton then decides to smoke a cigarette and accidently drops the match under the covers. Ralph is burnt and then he brutally insults Norton and throws him and Trixie out. Alice reminds Ralph of all the favors that Norton has done for him and Ralph decides to go up and apoligize to him. In comes Norton, who was standing right outside the door.
Running time: 12:10.
NOTE: This was remade as "Norton Moves In" (4/5/1969).moreless
Ralph, Alice, and Ed are going to the racetrack. When word gets out, a bunch of people ask Ralph to place bets for them. When word about the bets gets around the neighborhood, the police suspect Ralph of being a bookie. Ralph and Norton panic, and Norton tells Ralph to eat the list that he wrote the bets on. Alice tells the cop that the list will prove Ralph's innocence and Ralph discovers that he didn't eat the list after all. The cop is convinced and leaves.
Running time: 11:20.
NOTE: This was remade as "Hot Tip" (2/8/1969).moreless
It's spring cleaning for the Kramden's and Norton's. Alice is busy sweeping, scrubbing & boiling curtains and she's awaiting Ralph's return home from work with dye & decals for decorating eggs for Easter. An argument erupts over the prices of eggs leading to an argument that neither have enough money for nice hats for Easter. Things settle & it turns out that each has bought the other a hat.
Running time: 9:50.
NOTE: This episode is still lost.moreless
Ralph comes home from work complaining about the food that Alice packed him for lunch. He says the food was not only horrible but there also wasn't enough of it. Frankie, another bus driver, shows up and tells Ralph that their lunchboxes somehow got mixed up and that they ended up with each other's lunch. Frankie raves about the gourmet feast that Alice had packed.
Running time: 9:16.moreless
The Kramdens and Nortons have just been to the movies. Alice tells Ralph that she wishes he would be more like Ronald Coleman. Ralph replies that he'd be more like Coleman if Alice was more like Lana Turner. Then Alice says that she liked the other actress in the movie better, but can't remember her name. Ralph can't remember her name either and now he can't sleep until he thinks of the name. All the noise keeps Ed awake and he comes down to see what's going on. He can't remember her name either so he leans out the window trying to read the sign on the theater. A cop comes to the door and tells Ralph that if the noise doesn't stop, he's going to wind up in front of a judge. That's it! says Ralph. Arline Judge is the dame's name.
Running time: 7:13.
NOTES: This episode is also known as "What's Her Name Again?".
This was remade as "What's The Name?" (5/15/1954).moreless
Alice's Aunt Ethel arrives for a short stay but, according to Ralph, she is packing more luggage than someone leaving for Africa. As always, Ralph gets the short end of the stick and has to sleep in the kitchen. Norton and Ralph try to figure out how to get rid of her and Ralph stages a phony backache - yelling and screaming in pain. Alice and Aunt Ethel come out of the bedroom to find out what happened and Ralph tells her that his back hurts and that he has to sleep on a comfortable bed to get better. Aunt Ethel was just about to leave for Cousin Mildred's but she decides to stay and help nurse Ralph back to health. She tells him that in order for his back to get better, he has to sleep on the hard kitchen floor, not a soft bed.
Running time: 9:23.
This was remade as "Goodbye Aunt Ethel" (6/5/1954) and "Nephew Of The Bride" (10/21/1967).moreless
Ralph is filling out his tax return but is going crazy because he doesn't know what he's doing. Finally, he figures out that he owes Uncle Sam $15. The only money Ralph has saved up is exactly $15 which he refuses to use for anything else but a new bowling ball. A neighborhood priest comes in asking for donations for the poor and shames Ralph into giving him the $15 he was saving. Ralph then does a speech of what a great country America is.
Running time: 10:46.
NOTES: Portions of this were used in "The Worry Wart" (4/7/1956).
This episode is also known as "Income Tax Time".moreless
It's the Kramdens anniversary and Alice gave Ralph $25 to buy a suede coat that he wants. Ralph has bought Alice a box for hairpins made out of 2000 matches glued together. They decide to exchange gifts but before Ralph can give Alice hers, Trixie comes in and gives Alice the same gift. Not knowing what to do, Ralph tells Alice that her gift is going to be delivered. While Ralph and Norton try to figure out where to get money for another gift, a delivery man comes with a package for a neighbor, Mrs. O'Leary, and asks if he can leave it there since she is not home. Alice comes in and snatches the package from Ralph, thinking that it's her anniversary present. Alice opens the box and finds a dress. While she is trying it on, Mrs. O'Leary comes looking for her package, and sees Alice wearing her dress. She demands an explaination. To avoid a scene, Ralph pays the neighbor for the dress with the money that Alice gave him for the suede coat.
Running time: 10:25.
Note: This is the 1st time the 'Hairpin box made of matches' is used. It is repeated in "Twas The Night Before Christmas" (12/24/1955).moreless
The Kramdens and Nortons planned a dinner date at the Royal Chinese Gardens. Alice finds a pink slip in Ralph's pay envelope. Ralph is angry and reminisces about his 12 years as a bus driver. Alice offers to hock her wedding ring and get a job. Ralph says she should live at her mother's house so he can go out of town to find a job. In walks Dutch, the guy who stuffs the pay envelopes at the bus company. He's ready to go bowling with Ralph but Ralph would rather go bowling on his head. Dutch explains to Ralph that he used the pink slip as scrap paper and if he turned it over, he would have seen the note about going bowling. Ralph, being relieved, declines the offer due to his dinner date.
Running time: 9:07.moreless
Alice is in the bedroom rehearsing for a play with Trixie in which a woman plots to kill her husband. Ralph and Ed walk in and overhear them. Ralph thinks she wants to kill him. The Nortons leave and Ralph tells Alice that he overheard her in the bedroom. She thinks that Ralph knows she was rehearsing for the play, and is just against her acting. She catches on to what Ralph thinks when she puts a vitamin in his juice and he accuses her of trying to poison him. Alice "confesses" and says that if she can't kill him, she'll kill herself, and drinks the juice. Ralph is hysterical, thinking that he is about to lose Alice. Alice "recovers" and tells Ralph the truth. Ralph threatens to beat her up, but she reminds him how he was acting a few minutes ago, saying that she's his whole world. Ralph kisses her.
Running time: 10:47.moreless
Ralph is bringing home George, the traffic manager, for supper. Alice decides to play cupid and invites Henrietta from the Ladies' Auxiliary. Ralph wants to score points with George because a bunch of drivers are being transferred to Staten Island and Ralph doesn't want to be one of them. Henrietta arrives and Ralph labels her a monster. She goes into the bathroom to freshen up and George arrives. Ralph tells him that Alice is playing matchmaker and throws in a few nasty remarks about Henrietta. George appreciates the gesture but tells Ralph that he recently became engaged. Ralph rips into Henrietta some more. Henrietta enters and a dumbfounded George introduces her as his fiancé. As the couple leaves, George makes an appointment with Ralph for the following morning to discuss a Staten Island transfer.
Running time: 12:04.moreless
Alice has been picked to appear in a magazine ad for Glow Worm sink cleaner. Ralph is against the idea until he thinks that he is going to be in the ad too. An executive from the ad agency tells Ralph that he's not the right type to portray Alice's husband in the ad. Ralph gets steamed but then the executive promises Ralph that he can be in a different ad. Ralph cools off, but only until he hears that he is going to portray someone fat, flabby, and forty. Ralph throws everyone out of the apartment. Ralph realizes that he's been a jealous fool and Alice forgives him.
Running time: 10:02.
NOTES: This episode is also known as "Glow Worm Cleansing Powder".
A good portion of this episode was colorized for the special "The Honeymooners Anniversary Celebration" (10/18/1985).moreless
It's Christmas Eve. Alice is decorating the tree, singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and setting out holiday refreshments. Ralph comes home with potato salad, but Alice says it's the wrong potato salad. Ralph can't believe that Alice is actually asking him to go out for different potato salad.
After a "One of these days", he leaves. Trixie enters, and describes to Alice what Ed gave her for Christmas, an orange juice squeezer that looks like Napoleon and squirts juice out of its ears.
Fenwick Babbitt (Jackie Gleason) comes by, to deliver ice and beer. After hauling the keg all over the apartment and standing around with the block of ice, he discovers he's in the wrong apartment, and leaves.
Ed enters, escorting Patricia Morison. Patricia knew Trixie in vaudeville. Patricia sings "All The Things You Are" & "Wunderbar" for Alice, Ed, and Trixie.
Then Joe the Bartender (Jackie Gleason) stops in. He says a poor soul down at the bar was the victim of a nasty practical joke by Fatso Fogarty, What made the hoax particularly pathetic was that the poor soul, totally taken in, cherished his prize. Alice, moved by the tale, tells Joe to send the poor soul up, and she'll give him a real present.
Joe leaves, taking Patricia with him. Now the Poor Soul (Jackie Gleason) arrives. Alice offers him refreshments and a gift, probably the first gift anyone ever gave him. He touchingly returns the favor by giving her his cherished prize, a fake diamond, then leaves.
The next visitor is Rudy the Repairman (Jackie Gleason). Rudy is accompanied by his regular assistant, Whitey, destroys the television set, and departs. Alice tells Trixie that it doesn't really matter, since she just had the set on trial.
Next, Ed brings in guest Frankie Avalon who plays his trumpet. Ed then brings Frankie to Joe's.
Ed returns bringing Reggie Van Gleason III (Jackie Gleason) shows enters with Phil Napoleon and his Memphis 5 and the June Taylor Dancers.
Reggie does his inimitable Reggie dance, passes out gifts to Alice, Ed & Trixie, then he and his entourage file out.
Finally, Ralph reappears, with a cop. Seems Ralph was knocking on the window of Kraus's, and was arrested for attempted break-in. Alice straightens things out. The cop leaves. Alice and Ralph exchange presents. He gets rabbit-lined gloves. She gets a juice squeezer shaped like Napoleon ("and it's practical, too... ").
Running time: 42:25.
NOTES: This is a remake of "Christmas Party" (12/21/1951) & was remade as "Christmas Party" (12/19/1953).
The first 30 seconds of this episode are missing. Stills and an existing LP audio recording are used to fill in the missing footage.
The stage right portion of the set is extended in this episode to make room for the piano, tree, dancers, etc.moreless
When Ralph finds a letter from a doctor he believes the information in it leaves him with only six months to live. After some time to reflect, it's Alice that explains that the letter is from the vet who has given Alice's mother's dog only six months to live.
Running time: 13:51.
NOTES: This was remade as "A Matter of Life And Death" (10/29/1955) and "Six Months To Live" (5/11/1957 & 11/23/1968).moreless
Ralph awakens to a missing pair of pants & he's blaming Alice since she's been up earlier than him. Alice washed his long underwear the night before & hung them on the line to dry & now they are frozen. Missing pants & frozen underwear, it's not a good morning for Ralph. And to top it off, the toaster is not working. Ralph is blaming Alice for wasting time all day for the broken toaster, turns out Ralph didn't plug it in & he never took his pants off the night before, put the pajama's right on top of his pants. Turns out Ralph had one too many beers the night before.
Running time: 10:10.
NOTES: This episode is still lost.
This episode is also known as "Missing Pants".moreless
Ralph wants to win the $100 prize when a local furniture store conducts a guess-how-many-jellybeans-are-in-the-jar contest, so he buys a jar and a few thousand jellybeans. Though his guess turns out to be correct, the prize turns out a $100 gift certificate, redeemable only after the purchase of $1000 in furniture. Making matters worse, when Alice wants to buy a dress on sale, she cannot because Ralph spent the money on the jar and confection.
Running time: 8:27.
NOTE: This episode is also known as "The Jar of Jellybeans".moreless
Alice drags Ralph shopping all over the neighborhood and spends his entire paycheck, leaving him with no allowance. A delivery man brings an anniversary present that Ralph had delivered but he has no money to pay for it. Alice pays for it. Alice starts eating some pickles that she bought. Ralph thinks she's pregnant. Alice tells him that the Doctor just wanted to see if she was allergic to pickles. Ralph is disappointed.
Running time: 7:16.moreless
Ralph has a cold and Alice is nursing him back to health. She lets it known to Ralph that she took out a life insurance policy on him. Ralph has a fit and accuses her of wanting him to die, but when Alice tells Ralph that she also took one out on her own life, he feels like a dope and apologizes.
Running time: 7:58.
NOTE: This is a remake of "Cold" (2/8/1952).moreless
It's Halloween and the Kramdens and Nortons are going to a bus-company party. They're all in costume: Trixie's a sailor, Alice is an angel, Norton's dressed as Clara Bow, and Ralph's outfitted as a Zulu chief, a creation of Alice's. Ralph hates his costume, (a top hat, a sweat shirt, and a grass skirt pulled up to his chest), so he decides to rip up his tuxedo and go as an "elegant bum." Freddie Muller and his wife come to pick up the Nortons and the Kramdens and they're dressed to the nines. Freddie explains that though the party's on Halloween, it's not a costume party--it's a formal dinner-dance to celebrate the boss's birthday. Since Ralph's tux is now in rags, he misses a chance to hobnob with the big shots, but Norton doesn't consider the evening a total loss: he figures since everyone's in costume, they might as well go out trick-or-treating.
Running time: 10:10.
NOTES: This episode is also known as "Masquerade" and "Halloween Party For The Boss".
This was remade as "Halloween Party" (10/31/1953 & 10/30/1954).moreless
Ralph blames Alice for blowing their chance at the big prize on a radio quiz show. Later, when the producers realize they made a mistake and that Alice was right, it's Ralph himself who is put on the spot when it's his chance to save the day.
Running time: 11:29.
NOTES: This is a remake of "The Quiz Show" (12/14/1951).moreless
Ralph gets a taste of fatherhood when he finds an abandoned baby on the bus. This episode features the first of many times Ralph & Ed would do the filling of the rubber glove with milk trick to use to feed the baby. Of course it's Ralph who ends up with the milk splashed on him.
Running time: 10:05.moreless
Alice misplaces her wedding ring. A turkey that a neighbor has won in a raffle, that Alice has been asked to watch, is delivered. Ralph comes home and she tells him about the lost wedding ring and he assumes the turkey ate the ring. Norton drops in and tries to help Ralph solve the problem. The man who won the turkey is about to show up to get it, and Ralph sends Norton to go buy another turkey so he doesn't have to give the guy the turkey he thinks the ring is in. However, the turkey's are identical and Norton sets down the second turkey next to the first one and now they can't remember which turkey is the original and which is the one Norton purchased. Trixie shows up & it turns out she took the ring from the bedroom.
Running time: 10:13.
NOTE: The complete episode of the Jackie Gleason Show (9/27/1952) featuring "The Turkey" was found/sold/won on eBay in July 2009.moreless
With Ralph eager to get to the lanes, he gets his new bowling ball stuck on his thumb. After Ralph finally gets it off with the help of Alice and Ed, he ralizes his thumb is too swollen to bowl. But it's Alice to the rescue again, reminding Ralph that he bowls with his other hand.
Running time: 9:35.
NOTES: This is the very first Gleason, Carney, Meadows & Randolph episode.
This episode is also known as "Bowling".
This was remade as "The New Bowling Ball (3/22/1969)".moreless