Honey, I Beat the Kids

Season 2, Episode 3, Aired

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Darryl gives Michael a spanking for misbehaving, but it's Darryl who learns a lesson about raising children, and that the way he grew up is not necessarily the best way.
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Fan Episode Reviews (1)

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  • Michael earns a spanking and he and the family have conflicted feelings about it.

    10
    "Perfect"
    By dayo1977, Nov 10, 2005
    I loved this episode precisely because Darryl, although realizing that he should be sensitive to Michael, does not have second thoughts and come to regret disciplining him. My only complaint when it aired was that apparently Darryl doesn't know some white folks still believe in spanking too! Some lessons kids need to learn over mom or dad's lap.
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  • QUOTES (5)

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    • Darryl: They nothin' but a bunch of new-age, tree-huggin', whale watchin', tofu-suckin... well, that's all I got right now. Darryl: ...and that's why each and every prison cell has its own drain. Michael: Dad, I'm ten. I'm practically a man. Back in Africa, I'd have a hut and four wives already.

    • Michael: I know, I know, before you even say it, it's gonna hurt you more than it hurts me. Darryl: Well, not if I do it right.

    • Dave: Hey, Darryl, I'd spank the kid, but I'm too damn big. Burped him, once, nearly stopped his heart. Darryl: Child psychologists? You know, if they were any good, they'd be workin' with adults.

    • Michael: And all this time I thought we were living in a democracy. Darryl: Oh, this is a democracy son, but unfortunately for you, you're one of the Indians. Got it, Big Chief Little Boy? Michael: Well I say it's not fair. Milsap: Hey, it's not all bad, Michael. Right now you feel ignored and disrespected, but if you just hang in there a couple hundred years, they'll let you open up your own casino.

    • Darryl: Respect? Equal? Where you gettin' this stuff from? Aretha Franklin or Pokemon or something like that?

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