The IT Crowd

Season 2 Episode 3

Moss and the German

Aired Friday 10:00 PM Sep 07, 2007 on Channel 4
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Episode Summary

Worried that his life is stagnating, Moss enrols on a German cookery course. Jen discovers that the only place in the building where she can now enjoy a cigarette is a smoking area not unlike Soviet Russia.

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  • Jen's in smoking purgatory and Moss meets a german canibal.

    The IT Crowd gives us a brilliantly funny treat every week and this was no exception. This week Moss and Roy feel like they are a stagnant old married couple so Jen suggests they go out and meet other people. This leads to Moss meeting up with a german canibal that he mistakenly thinks is going to give him lessons in German cookery. Roy is desperate to see a DVD before someone tells him the twist in the plot and ends up trying to see it at Douglas, the crazy boss's house. Jen finds that being a smoker these days is pretty difficult as you are now exiled to some godawful concrete area outside in the freezing cold. Great stuff!moreless

Featured Episode Clip

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (12)

    • Moss: It turns out he didn't want to teach me how to cook. He wanted to cook me.
      Jen: What?
      Moss: He wanted to eat me. I know, egg and my face were in alignment.

    • Jen: I'm off. Douglas is coming down.
      Roy: Douglas? Why?
      Jen: To be honest with you, he's been making advances. You know, little things like asking me if I'd like to go for a ride in his helicopter.
      Roy: Oh, I'd like to go for a ride in a helicopter.
      Jen: Well grow a pair of tits.
      Roy: Tell you what, if I did have tits, I wouldn't mind letting someone have a go on them for a ride in a helicopter.

    • Moss: (to Jen) Roy and I are becoming like an old married couple.
      Roy: Will you please stop saying that? I'm the husband.
      Moss: We seem to do the same thing, day in, day out. I'm stagnating, Jen. I'm like a packet of crisps on the roof.

    • Roy: (pointing to Johann's cello) Now that's a guitar!

    • Moss: If my mother thinks I'm a cannibal, I'll be for the high jump.
      Roy: Oh for once can we please not bring your mother into it.
      Moss: Oh, here we go again!

    • Moss: Other people?
      Jen: Yes.
      Moss: (sitting up) You mean people, other than Roy?
      Jen: Well yes.
      Moss: And these 'other people'. Where do they congregate?

    • Jen: I don't wanna go out on the street. It's too… Soviet. Help me.
      Roy: Soviet?
      Jen: Yes, it's cold, everyone looks depressed. You know I remember when smoking was fun. All the cool kids were doing it.

    • Moss: Come on, Roy, can't you see it?
      Roy: See what, Moss?
      Moss: We go to a film, sometimes a pub, maybe get some dinner. It just goes on, and on, year in, year out. We're stagnating!
      Roy: You make it sound like we're some sort of old married couple.
      Moss: But we are. Can't you see (shakes Roy) you're my wife, Roy! You're my wife. You're my wife. We should be married to ladies but we're married to each other. (two women walk past) You're my wife.
      Roy: Could you stop calling me your wife?
      Moss: You're my wife Roy and I can't take it anymore! (runs off)
      Roy: (to the women) If anything, I'm the husband!

    • Moss: I see where the confusion was; I thought this was a cookery course.
      Johann: (laughs insanely) No, no.
      Moss: But you were looking for someone who would agree to let you kill and eat them!

    • Moss: I don't know Roy. It does seem a little immoral misleading him. Although as Jen pointed out earlier, being a cannibal is a little immoral too. I'm in an ethical pickle!

    • Moss: I feel like such a turnip!

    • Narrator: (parodying the PSA shown before films) You wouldn't steal a handbag. You wouldn't steal a car. You wouldn't steal a baby. You wouldn't shoot a policeman. And then steal his helmet. You wouldn't go to the toilet in his helmet. And then send it to the policeman's grieving widow. And then steal it again! Downloading films is stealing. If you do it, you will face the consequences. (FBI shoots girl in the head)

  • NOTES (2)


    • The German cannibal in the story is an allusion to an actual case of German man who killed and ate another man he met on the internet (who volunteered to be eaten).