The Jack Benny Program
CBS (ended 1965)
-
Season 15
- Ep 28Smothers Brothers Show4/16/65
The Smothers Brothers introduce the show trying to sing "Love in Bloom." Later, they perform "Boil That Cabbage Down," "I Don't Care," and "I Never Will Marry." ''The sketch is set after a 1944 air raid in London when Jack was entertaining troops at the Palladium. He's trapped under an unexploded bomb, and discovered by the Brothers, a demolition team. Rather than defusing the bomb, they make him listen to their audition.moreless - Ep 27Jack Has Dog Trouble4/9/65
Benny wears his new expensive, Beverly Hills tailor-made suit to his sponsor's home for dinner. Mr. and Mrs. Lewis have a huge dog, Henrietta, that they treat as a spoiled child. She takes to Jack and destroys his new suit. When Mr. Lewis says they're going on vacation, Jack regrets having said he loved their dog.moreless - Ep 26Jack Appears on a Panel Show4/2/65
Jack is upset because his publicity man isn't getting him dignified press; he has Jack's posing for a photo with pancakes on his head. When there's a cancellation on the intellectual discussion show Impromptu, Jack jumps at the chance. ''Dennis thinks he's found a ruby he lost from his ring, but its a One-a-Day Brand Vitamin, leading to Don's commercial. ''On the show, panelists Angie Dickinson, Dr. Joyce Brothers, and Vincent Price make him look like he has an empty head. But when the topic of the American dollar comes up, Jack can't say enough. Jack is still talking about money after the show's end credits have rolled, and the cameras have been turned off.moreless - Ep 25Dennis Opens a Bank Account3/26/65
Jack's publicity agent has him posing for ridiculous photos, as a Beatle (for a youthful image), a frogman and as a surfer (to show him as a man of action). Dennis sings "There'll Be Music" with Don on the piano.''The photographer poses Don, leading into the State Farm Insurance commercial.''Jack can't believe Dennis has never had a bank account, or even set foot inside of one. With piggy bank in hand, Benny takes him to the bank where they crack the pig open, count the change, and open an account.moreless - Ep 24Jack's Navy Buddy Returns3/19/65
Jack's is reunited with his first vaudeville partner, old Navy buddy Stub Walker, who he hasn't seen in 40 years. Stub us retiring from the service and has come to take Jack up on his promise that they would work together again one day. Jack tries him out on the show (The two perform a medley of WWI hits.) but Stub can't deliver his lines, and his old routines are out of date.moreless - Ep 23Jack Finds a Double3/12/65
At the show's rehearsal, Jack constantly makes mistakes. He complains of overwork. Network bigwigs have an idea to ease Jack's load: they've found a Benny look-alike (also played by Benny) who could fill in for the busy star. Before trying to pass the fake Jack off on the sponsor, it's decided the "double" must first past a test: he has to convince Rochester that he's the real man.''Don does the State Farm commercial with a drum: you can't "beat" State Farm.''The double moves into Benny's home, but Rochester is not fooled. He knows the real Jack isn't humble, kind, modest and generous with his cash.moreless - Ep 22Jack Brings Ed Up From the Vault3/5/65
Jack goes down to his vault to get $10 out and brings up his aging guard, Ed, to see what modern life is like. It's his first time out in years and he's unprepared for the fast pace of the world. When Ed disappears, Jack calls the police, but it's unnecessary; Ed returns, wanting to go back to the peace and quiet of the vault.moreless - Ep 21Rainy Day in Palm Springs2/26/65
In the monologue, Jack explains how he keeps fit. He also says the American Federation of Musicians has given him a one-way ticket to Australia. Rochester explains the rules to the house to their new housekeeper. Rule #1: you must must watch Benny's show. ''Dennis Day sings the State Farm Insurance jingle, and then "If Ever I Would Leave You" with running commentary from Rochester and the maid. Rochester fills her in on the time Jack fired Dennis Day. The story flashes back to their radio days; Dennis suggests they all drive to Palm Springs for the weekend and it rains the whole time.moreless - Ep 20Jack Joins Acrobats2/19/65
Jack's monologue about TV ratings is interrupted by an audience member from Toledo who wants to take a picture of his family with Jack. Don does the One-A-Day Brand Vitamins commercial with a member of the family. Dennis performs "My Kind of Town (Chicago Is)." ''In the sketch, Jack plays a Sultan who visits one of his villages, expecting the natives to award him his weight in treasure; he's in for a disappointment. Sultan Jack is supposed to ride on a "flying carpet", but the crew can't get it to work. To cover, a troop of acrobats, The Tangiers, begin performing. Hating to be upstaged, Jack tries to stop them, but becomes part of their act.moreless - Ep 19The Stradivarius Story2/12/65
Jack introduces cameraman Charlie Summers and his new wife; she asks Jack why Charlie has never received a raise. ''During their "feud", Fred Allen presented a 10-year-old violinist on his radio show, Stuart Canin, who played violin better than Jack. He's now a 38-year-old professor of violin at Oberlin. He plays a selection from La vida breve by Manuel de Falla on a Stradivarius. ''Don Wilson introduces a man with a rocket pack and radar wants to be a State Farm agent.''In the sketch, Jack plays the violin-maker Antonio Stradivari, lavishing great care on each instrument. His brother-in-law says customers only care about his signature on them. His wife whines that he could make a lot more money if he cranked out the violins mass production-style.''Benny and Canin duet on "The Bee".moreless - Ep 18Jack Visits House of Monkeys2/5/65
The various audience members in line discuss how they got their tickets to the show. Jack's monologue is about his trip to Australia. He introduces Australian singer Lorrae Desmond who performs "Wouldn't It Be Lovely." ''Don asks Lorrae if you gain or lose a day when you cross the International Date Line because he doesn't want to miss a One-a-Day Vitamin. ''In the sketch, Jack recalls his first meeting with the Marquis Chimps after seeing them perform in Las Vegas. He goes to the monkey's home to meet their owner, Gene Getroy, and discuss having the act on his TV show. Jack ends up negotiating with the chimps themselves.moreless - Ep 17Kingston Trio Show1/29/65
The Kingston Trio performs "I'm Going Home" and "Tijuana Jail."''In the sketch, Jack shares a cell with the Trio in a Tijuana jail. Things become quite crowded when Jack's orchestra is also tossed into the hoosegow, along with the Mexican police captain and his two assistants. - Ep 16Jack Adopts a Son1/22/65
In his monologue, Jack demonstrates why his Stradivarius is worth $30,000. He introduces Milton Berle and they exchange insults.''Don introduces Miss Carmelita Montoya, a dancer from Madrid who uses One-a-Day Brand Vitamins for castanets. ''In the sketch, Jack plays Jonathan Goodheart, a rich do-gooder who believes there is no such thing as a bad boy. As he "auditions" several young boys to adopt, he encounters one real stinker who makes him rethink his position: Milton, a brat who only wants to inherit Jack's money.moreless - Ep 15Jack Jones Show1/8/65
Guest Jack Jones sings "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" and "I Need a Girl."''In the sketch, Benny is the principal of Benedict Arnold High School. Because of the lousy salary he pays his teacher, Mr. Jones works four other jobs to pay the bills, Phys Ed teacher Wilson drives a cab and Miss Collins moonlights as a burlesque dancer. Cops show up to arrest Principal Benny for running a bookie operation out of his office.moreless - Ep 14One Man Show12/25/64
In the holiday show, Jack chats informally with the audience. He shows a baby picture of himself at six months of age. The baby has clenched fists; Jack says he's holding a dime in each. Going out into the audience, Jack finds Gisele MacKenzie in the crowd. She's there with an aunt from Toronto who requests Jack translate his jokes into French. He drags MacKenzie onto the stage to do a reprise of their famed violin duet, "Getting to Know You."moreless - Ep 13Amateur Night12/18/64
Jack's conducts another of his salary-saving amateur talent shows. Dennis has been banned from the set, but is determined to get on by impersonating various celebrities; he masquerades as a Japanese man dressed like one of The Beatles singing "I Want To Hold Your Hand". Also performing are Otto Kessler, aka Mel Blanc, as a whiskey bottle-player; and The Guire Sisters who are proud of their "commercial" name.moreless - Ep 12Jack Has a Sick Alligator12/11/64
Jack talks an unsuspecting veterinarian into making a house call. He leads the doctor through the dungeon underneath his house, past his ancient security guard, and to the surprise patient: a sick alligator that lives in the moat protecting his vault. The doctor surprises even himself by diagnosing the creature's problem.moreless - Ep 11Wayne Newton/Louis Nye Show12/4/64
Jack's guests are comedian Louis Nye and singer Wayne Newton. The sketch is a flashback to when Jack discovered Newton. Benny is performing at a posh garden benefit to send "underprivileged" children of Beverly Hills to camp on the French Riviera. Needing an opening act, Jack gives a waiter a chance to sing, thus giving Wayne his big showbiz break. Louis Nye emcees the charity event.''Newton performs "Falling In Love," "You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You," and "When the Saints Go Marching In."moreless - Ep 10Jack Hires a Cook11/27/64
After twenty years, Rochester has finally talked Jack into giving him a week's vacation. He's relaxing with his friend Roy at the Palm Valley Inn when he reads a newspaper ad Jack has placed for a household domestic. Thinking he's being replaced, a panicked Rochester phones Don and Dennis and asks for their help. The pair scheme to get rid of the housekeeper by scaring her off. Jack explains to the guys that it's all a misunderstanding and that Miss Dooley was hired to help Rochester, not replace him.moreless - Ep 9The Cat Burglar11/20/64
At the poker game at Jack's house with band members Frank and Sammy, and Don and Dennis, cheapskate Benny refuses to open a new deck, forcing the guys to make do with an improvised deck. Much is made of the cat burglar that's been breaking into the homes of Beverly Hills celebrities. Jack warns everyone to lock their doors and stay off the street. ''The State Farm commercial is heard on Dennis' radio.''Two criminals are hypnotizing a poor dupe into putting on a cat costume and breaking into the homes of snoozing residents to steal their valuables. The surprise appearance of Joey Bishop allows Jack and Rochester to identify the cat burglar.moreless - Ep 8Jack Loses a Raffle11/13/64
The women of the Beverly Hills Improvement Committee, spearheaded by the wives of David Janssen, Andy Williams, and Steve McQueen, are trying to rid their community of Jack's Maxwell. They sell him a ticket to a raffle that's rigged for him; the prize is a car to replace his old junk heap.moreless - Ep 7Jungle Sketch11/6/64
Don opens the program by announcing that the show must go on; Jack is brought out in traction in a hospital bed. Guest Abbe Lane sings "I Believe in You."''Don needs his glasses to do the State Farm commercial. They come equipped with a funny nose and a State Farm sign.''Jack plays an Albert Schweitzer-type scientist working deep in the jungle to develop a non-skid banana peel. His bombshell wife, Lane, is sick of the rain and bored with their marriage. His assistant, Lawrence of Africa, is there to sweep her off her feet.moreless - Ep 6Hillbilly Sketch10/30/64
In his monologue, Jack confesses that his producer has been using raffle tickets to get the audience members to stay in their seats through the end of the show. Jack and guest Connie Francis argue about whether it's harder to sing or to get laughs. Francis sings "I Was Born Too Late," and a medley of Al Jolson tunes ("Swanee," "Mammy," and "April Showers").
''Don does the Alka-Seltzer commercial as an endorsement by a safe-cracker.
''In the sketch, Jack heads the hillbilly Skinner family who live in a cabin in the Ozarks. His wife (Connie) agrees that they should explain the facts of life to their son, 28-year-old Clem (Dale). Cousin Shem (Don) is in agreement. They perform a parody of "I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter."moreless - Ep 5Jack Makes a Comedy Record10/23/64
Jack has his writers working to churn out a script he and Bob Hope can use on a comedy album the pair are doing together. When they go into the recording studio, the two begin to ad-lib instead and Jack tries to bury him in jokes. It quickly becomes a "can you top this" match between the two comedians.moreless - Ep 4Income Tax Show10/16/64
IRS agents can't believe that Jack Benny could have earned $375,000, yet only spent $19 on entertainment. On his taxes he claims $3.90 for taking Jimmy and Gloria Stewart to dinner. The agents question the Stewarts and discover that Jack saw them at their favorite restaurant and forced them sit at his table with him and his girlfriend. Benny told them he would pay, but at the end of the meal, he let the Stewarts pick up the tab so they could enjoy the meal as a tax deduction. The $3.90 is what it cost Jack to have his suit cleaned after Gloria dumped a salad on his head.moreless - Ep 3Andy Williams Show10/9/64
Guest Andy Williams sings "On the Street Where You Live." for the little old ladies of Jack's fan club. On the premise it will be good for his career, Jack talks Andy into attending a gala grand opening with him. He doesn't tell Andy it's at a meat market. Embarrassed to be at such an affair, he's talked into singing "Moon River". On the up side, he wins a free turkey.moreless - Ep 2Lucille Ball Show10/2/64
Jack is dressed in a white tuxedo to introduce his guest Lucille Ball; she comes out dressed as a hillbilly. Jack praises Lucy's skills as a businesswoman, leading to the sketch about a famous woman from history.
''In this version of Paul Revere's famous ride. Jack as Revere tries to explain to his jealous wife, Rachel (Lucy), why he's riding all over the countryside. Singing "Hello Dolly" in honor of Dolly Madison doesn't help matters. She's convinced he's seeing another woman and not even George Washington (Don Wilson) can convince her otherwise. After accidentally knocking Paul out, Rachel has to make the famous "midnight ride."moreless - Ep 1NBC Premiere9/25/64
The show opens with Chet Huntley and David Brinkley doing a newscast on Benny's return to NBC. In his monologue, Jack talks about the move and conducts a press conference with the Marquis Chimps as panelists. Dennis brings his wife and nine children on stage.
''Jack meets with NBC executives and finds that his new TV studio is a radio studio. Doug McClure and Roberta Shore from The Virginian make cameos. Jack Performs again with the Marquis Chimps, with the monkeys dressed as The Beatles. They sing "I Want to Hold Your Hand" with Jack.moreless
-
Season 14
- Ep 28I Am The Fiddler4/21/64
In his final show for CBS, Jack reminisces about the old days of radio and it's ability to paint pictures in the mind. To assist, Mel Blanc demonstrates his various voices.''In a take-off of the radio character "The Whister", Jack assumes the role of the black-caped mischief-maker "The Fiddler". Blanc and Dennis Day are his victims.moreless - Ep 27Harlow Gets a Date4/14/64
Don has arranged for Harlow to take the sponsor's daughter on a date. That gives Jack and Don just three days to change his clod of a son into a suave man of the world. Harlow puts his newly-found charms to work for the wrong purposes. - Ep 26Jack Goes To An Allergy Doctor4/7/64
Jack hold a meeting in his dressing room to grouse at the cast and crew about a sloppy show. He begins to itch and, thinking he's having a reaction to something, goes to see a doctor where the patients scratch and sneeze in unison. Hating needles, Benny marches out mid-exam in search of another specialist. He settles on an odd one who performs some goofy and very unscientific tests on the itching patient. The source of Jack's irritation turns out not to be a "what", but a "who": Dennis Day.moreless - Ep 25The Lettermen Show3/31/64
Jack's monologue is interrupted by Dennis Day who comes out with props, prepared to sing. He's angry to learn that The Lettermen would be doing the songs. The Lettermen perform "Love Is a Many Splendored Thing". As they begin their second number, Dennis picks them off one by one and finishes their song.''Jack imagines what it would be like if he'd gone to college. His roommates are played by The Letterman; Jack is a freshmen who looks 39. In class, chemistry is taught by a nutty German professor who plays "Yankee Doodle" on his flasks. When he writes the chemical formula for a nuclear bomb on the chalk board, it explodes. ''Tired of Jack's money-making schemes, the roommates hope to catch him in the act of selling answers to tests. The buyer of the answers is Professor Von Krausmeyer.moreless - Ep 24Jack Renews His Driver's License3/24/64
Jack rehearses some Dixieland music with members of his band at the studio. He does a public service announcement for safe driving and finds out his driver's license has expired. On the way to the golf course, Jack and Don drop by the Department of Motor Vehicles to have it renewed.
moreless
Renewing should be simple, but Jack's has trouble with everyone. A man who doesn't work there accepts his $3 fee and runs, a grumpy guard accuses him of cheating, and the man giving the eye exam can't see. Getting his photo taken is an ordeal as the photographer thinks he's Erich von Stroheim directing a film. - Ep 23Jack Is a Boxing Manager3/17/64
Jack visits a restaurant owned by an ex-boxer and begins daydreaming about being an old-time fight manager. His protege, Dennis "Kid Dynamite" Day, thinks "Doc" Benny is the best because he let's him fight twice a day. A gorgeous blond, however, stands in the way of Doc making some quick money.moreless - Ep 22Jack Redecorates His House3/3/64
After taking abuse from his card game buddies about a hideous chair he's just had reupholstered, Jack hires a sexy home decorator to update his home. Her ideas involve zebra stripes. - Ep 21Jack And Dennis Do Impersonations2/25/64
JAck fulfills viewers' requests. One asks for Dennis to sing "Love In Bloom," but he doesn't know it. Someone asks Jack to give Harlow a break, so Don's son impersonates Sophie Tucker in the State Farm commercial. A woman wants Jack to put her husband's animal on the show; he's promptly is eaten by his lion. One request is to have Jackie Gleason back on. Complete with (two) dancing girls, Jack plays Gleason in a take-off Gleason's variety show. Dennis impersonates Crazy Guggenheim. Benny's promise to impersonate Danny Kaye is interrupted by the real Kaye. The final request for Jack to play a classical number on his violin is stopped when the lion chases him from the stage.moreless - Ep 20The Final LeBlanc Sketch2/18/64
Jack receives a call from a psychiatrist, Dr. Johnson, asking him to identify a man who keeps repeating Benny's name. The delirious man is Jack's violin teacher, Professor Le Blanc. In flashbacks, we witness the crash and burn of Professor Le Blanc as Benny's heinous violin fiddling eventually drives him insane.''Jack decides the only way to cure the man is to play his instrument, and, for the first time, he plays beautifully. Realizing he's not a failure, Le Blanc regains his memory. Jack orders Dr. Johnson not to tell anyone that he's a good violinist; he makes much more money being a bad one.moreless - Ep 19How Jack Found Dennis2/11/64
Jack explains how he manages to look so good on TV after all these years: long shots. In close-ups, he's nothing but wrinkles. Dennis brings out his own palm tree as scenery and performs "Cocktails for Two." Don's State Farm Insurance commercial features a yodeling Swiss chalet owner who Jack tries to muzzle.
''It's Dennis' 24th anniversary of working with Jack. Benny tells his version of how he discovered Day and hired him for his radio show. Jack hears Dennis' demo record and sets out to find him, following him through a parade of jobs (fish market, ice cream shop) from which he was fired. Jack finally locates him working in the kitchen of a Chinese restaurant.moreless - Ep 18Don Breaks His Leg2/4/64
Don pretends to break his leg so that his doofus son Harlow can fill in for him on the show. Harlow reads his self-penned poem "Ode to California." When Jack finds out Don's a faker, he goes to the Wilson home to make him squirm. Jack's most successful talent find, Miss Beverly Hills, returns and sings "Only One Man". She then shocks Benny by launching into a striptease performance.moreless - Ep 17Bobby Darin Show1/28/64
After a huge compliment from Bobby Darrin, Jack is convinced he's the perfect man to play him in the movie of his life. Jack invites him to move in for a few days to get to know the "real" Benny. (Bobby learns that Jack takes in dry cleaning, has a recording studio in his living room, and isn't 39.) By the time they're ready to sign the contract, Bobby has turned into an exact copy of Jack--including the greediness.moreless - Ep 16Nat King Cole Show1/21/64
Nat "King" Cole opens the show singing "Day In, Day Out." He exchanges some ribbing with Jack and performs "When I Fall in Love." ''Jack invites a few musicians from the orchestra to join him in his office to rehearse "Sweet Sue", a number they're going to perform with Cole. A fight between the musicians leaves the drummer out of commission, so Nat promises to have his cousin fill in. On the show, the "cousin" is a five-year-old who can drum louder than Jack's violin solo.moreless - Ep 15Peter, Paul and Mary Show1/14/64
Peter, Paul and Mary sing Blowin' in the Wind. To show that a folk song can be written from any bit of folklore, they perform "Waukegan", a song they wrote based around Jack's age, cheapness, and other faults.
''Jack invites the group to his home to try and talk them into recording the dreadful tune he wrote, "If You Say 'I Beg Your Pardon', Then I'll Come Back to You." When his his accompanist Ned arrives, he has PP&M sing his composition. As with every previous performer, they want nothing to do with the crummy song. Ned tells Jack it would have been a hit if they'd recorded it. Jack says not to worry; he had a tape recorder hidden in the piano.moreless - Ep 14How Jack Met George Burns1/7/64
Old buddies Benny and Burns trade jokes and insults. George needles him about his pettiness in golfing before recalling their first meeting during the vaudeville days. In the flashback, they are each staying in a seedy boarding house when they decide to team up. Their act, full of awful jokes and ridiculous songs, is a flop. Jack, being Jack, demands a raise, even though they aren't making a dime. George claims their problem is Benny; anyone could do Jack's part better--even the landlord's daughter. That girl's name: Gracie Allen.moreless - Ep 13Jack Alone On New Year's Eve12/31/63
Jack gives the cast the night off and does the show himself. He talks with Mary Livingstone on the phone and takes questions from the audience, some legit, some planted. When asked his age, he responds that everything is marked down after Christmas. Jack has the audience sing "Auld Lang Syne" and read the commercial while he provides sounds effects. He also talks about Dennis Day's Christmas present, his Maxwell, Phil Harris in Korea, and George Burns.moreless - Ep 12George Jessel/Amateur Show12/24/63
Jack hosts another of his amateur talent contests. Contestants this round include a barefoot tap dancer, a dog act, a drunk acrobat, and a Mexican musical group, Tijuana Troubadours, led by Mel Blanc. George Jessel accompanies his nephew who's supposedly a great tuba player. The kid gives Jack and George grief all throughout the show.moreless - Ep 11Three Musketeers Sketch12/10/63
Jack talks about golfing in his monologue. He chats with a TV statistician who has monitored all of Jack's programs and found that Benny has told 80,000 jokes...and only gotten 30,000 laughs. Dennis storms on stage and says he's quitting because Jack has called him stupid 2,000 times.''In the sketch, it's back to the 18th century as Jack, Don, and Dennis play the Three Musketeers. Jack's character gets into a romance with an attractive spy.moreless - Ep 10Dennis Drives Jack to the Hospital12/3/63
Jack is trying to work on a Julius Caesar sketch, while being pursued by a female fan.''Wanting to take over the show for a few weeks, Dennis hatches a plan to make Jack think he's becoming unhinged. He hires an impressionist to make phone calls, as Benny, to receptionists, doctors--anyone and everyone. Naturally, Jack doesn't recall having talked to any of these people and begins to question his sanity. Upon hearing his own voice, and it wasn't coming from his mouth, Jack checks himself into a hospital.moreless - Ep 9Jack Takes a Boat to Hawaii11/26/63
Jack is waiting to take a ship back home after vacationing in Hawaii. Schlepperman, a character from Jack's radio days, appears to present Jack with a lei made of chicken livers. Rochester arrives late, having been crowned King Kameamea VI by the islanders.
''On the ship board, Dennis tells Jack he swam all the way to Hawaii, then jumps overboard to swim home. Falling asleep in a deck chair, Jack dreams the heavyset woman sitting beside him is Jayne Mansfield and that she finds him irresistible. He proposes but she's concerned about their age difference. She coos the song "You're Just Too Marvelous For Words" to Jack and agrees to meet him for dinner. He chases after her, being awakened by a huge kiss from the chubby woman.moreless - Ep 8Robinson Crusoe Sketch11/19/63
Jack tries to get out of paying a 14-cent overdue fine by presenting the librarian with a note from his doctor. Dennis checks out books by Gibbon and Velben so he'll look smart when he walks past UCLA on his way home. Don barges into the library to hawk State Farm Insurance. ''The sketch is a take-off on Robinson Crusoe with Jack as the bearded castaway and Dennis as his man Friday.moreless - Ep 7Ed Sullivan Show11/5/63
The sketch is a French courtroom drama with Jack playing the prosecutor and Ed Sullivan as Gentleman Jim Sullivan, the defense attorney. Sullivan does much emoting as he represents a beautiful French girl accused of murdering her husband. Don Wilson is the commentator. - Ep 6Jack Directs a Film10/29/63
Jack hears Jimmy and Gloria Stewart say some nice things about him on a TV talk show and decides to thank them in person. Visiting the couple on the set of the movie they're making, Jack can't help but offer advice on how the couple should play the scene and how the director should film it. Soon, the production is in shambles.moreless - Ep 5Johnny Carson Show10/22/63
Jack tells guest Johnny Carson he should be more versatile on The Tonight Show, so Johnny does card tricks, plays the drums, sings, and dances to Ballin' the Jack. They do a mock version of the Tonight Show where we can hear Carson's thoughts about the guest he's interviewing (Benny).
''Don Wilson does a man-on-the-street interview for the commercial, encountering a guy who thinks he's on Candid Camera and wants to sing.
''Johnny can't believe how Jack never seems to age. Back his the dressing room, he finds out Jack's secret. The Jack Benny "replacement" dummy makes another appearance.moreless - Ep 4Tall Cowboy Sketch10/15/63
Jack talks about writing his autobiography in the monologue. He brings out guest Clint Walker and they compare what they have in common: both were born in Illinois, were in the Navy, and have blue eyes. To check, Jack climbs up onto Walker to look into his eyes. Clint sings "Navajo Trail" and mentions they're casting for his twin brother in a new film''Don wheels out a table to demonstrate how he can eat a meal and still have room for Jell-o.''In elevator shoes and western outfit, Jack shows up at the audition for the role of Walker's brother. After watching another applicant play the scene, a barroom brawl where he gets roughed up and beaten, Benny decides the part's not for him.moreless - Ep 3Riverboat Sketch10/8/63
Don, Carol and Jack make their entrance jumping through large doorways covered with paper; Jack can't break through and Carol has to do it for him. Jack and Carol talk about her desire to become a director, and she makes some suggestions about his show. She sings "Sweet Georgia Brown." In the sketch, Jack, Don, and Carol play riverboat card sharks out to cheat each other.moreless - Ep 2Robert Goulet Show10/1/63
Jack makes his entrance from the opposite side of the stage, and stands with his back to the audience out of force of habit. Don rolls out a carpet, and Goulet comes out vacuuming ithe had failed to read the fine print on his contract. Goulet tells about growing up in Canada, tells a Nelson Eddy joke, discusses playing nightclubs with Jack, and sings, This is all I ask. Jack questions Goulet's reputation as a ladies' man, leading into the sketch: in flashback, Jack sees Goulet and his girl at a Hollywood nightclub; his girl makes a pass at Jack. Later we learn that in fact Jack's girl made a pass at Goulet.moreless - Ep 1Billy Graham Show9/24/63
Season opener. Don, Jack and Dennis do the commercial as Peter, Paul and Mary. At Billy Graham's request, the skit is redone according to a new formula in which there are no insults to anyone, and everyone is quiet and sweet; Dennis reports that he went to UCLA over the summer. Billy Graham gives a short inspirational message.moreless
-
Season 13
- Ep 27Jack Answers Request Letters4/9/63
The premise for this episode is to have Jack answer viewers' letters. One asks about the sound effects on his old radio program, so Ray Erlenborn demonstrate how he made several of them. ''In the State Farm Insurance commercial, a serviceman from the audience claims State Farm insured his tank in the Battle of the Bulge.''Jack's sister Florence asks why Dennis or Don never get to work without Jack, so the pair impersonate Laurel and Hardy in an original sketch. ''The final request is for Jack play a piece of music seriously. The last-minute accompanist sent by Musicians' Union, however, completely upstages Jack with his antics.moreless - Ep 26A Dummy Replaces Jack4/2/63
Jack returns from Hong Kong and enters via a rickshaw pulled by Dennis.
''Day sings "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
''The sponsor decides that Dennis is getting all the laughs, so they ask Jack to take a pay cut. When he refuses, the sponsor replaces him with a blue-eyed wooden dummy that looks and shrugs just like the real thing.moreless - Ep 25The Mikado3/26/63
Jack talks about raising the standards of television programming, so he's staging a condensed version of the opera The Mikado. Rather than singing the Japanese love song that's planned, Dennis is determined to do an Irish jig.''Don has his son Harlow, who's been taking elocution lessons, do the State Farm commercial.''In the sketch, Jack is the Lord High Executioner with Dennis as Nanki-Poo, disguised as a minstrel. The "classy" production falls apart when Dennis does his jig dance.moreless - Ep 24Jack Fires Don3/19/63
After Jack and Don argue over who said "Don't give up the ship," Jack fires Don and holds auditions for a new announcer. Dennis does the JELL-O commercial as a series of imitations, including James Cagney and John F. Kennedy. Dennis rehearses a sentimental song for Jack, while Don walks back and forth across the set clearing out his office.moreless - Ep 23Jack Is Kidnapped3/12/63
Jack is kidnapped when he attempts to help an attractive woman feigning car trouble outside of his house. The woman and two thugs hold him for a $10,000 ransom. When his phone calls to a confused Don and sleepy Dennis fail to raise the money, the kidnappers take Jack to the bank to make a withdrawl. The bank employees are in shock, having never seen Jack Benny take money out of a bank before. He sees George Burns come in and, desperate for his help, begins singing "I Need Your Help"; Burns just thinks Benny's crooning a lousy song. Back at the kidnapper's hideout, they're planning to knock off their abductee since he can identify them to authorities. Police arrive in the nick of time to save Jack.moreless - Ep 22Frankie Avalon Show3/5/63
In his monologue, Jack breaks his glasses in half to please both the people who thinks he looks best with his glasses and those who think without. He introduces Frankie Avalon who sings "Never Say Never Again".''In a flashback to a few weeks earlier, Jack runs into Frankie at the studio and tries to get him to come of the show for free. ''Don Wilson passes through and comforts a crying girl by giving her several boxes of Jell-o in the integrated commercial.''Jack goes to watch Frankie record "Embraceable You" and ruins take after take making various noises. The irritated producer is ready to throw Jack out until Benny accidentally comes up with their song "gimmick".''The two duet on Jack's show: Frankie sings while Jack "plays" the water cooler.moreless - Ep 21Jack Does the U.S.O. Show2/26/63
Vocalist Martha Tilton reminisces with Jack about the U.S.O. shows they performed together during World War II. This leads to the flashback of one of their wartime performances. Benny does a monologue full of military jokes and Tilton sings "Too Marvelous For Words" and "I'll Remember April." Benny is determined that nothing will keep him from playing his violin for the troops. The soldiers walking out and the enemy attacking do not deter Benny from finishing his number.moreless - Ep 20Connie Francis Show2/19/63
Jack has some fun with a radio sound effects man. Connie Francis sings "Follow the Boys." ''Don does the Jell-o commercial without using the sponsor's name.''In the sketch, Stephen Foster is a lousy hack songwriter. His wife talks about her old folks at home who live way down along the Swanee River. Meanwhile, he's wasting time with a song that begins "apples are red." She gets an idea on how to inspire him when the butcher comes by to collect on an unpaid bill. It involves a shotgun.moreless - Ep 19Spanish Sketch2/12/63
Jack welcomes brand new Oscar winner Rita Moreno and tells her West Side Story has too much singing. She performs "Heart Hearted Hanna."
''Don does the State Farm commercial with the trumpeter from Hollywood Park.
''In the sketch, a hot-blooded young woman (Rita), daughter of a cafe owner (Don), is ready to dump her toreador fiance (Dennis) the second she eyes the world's greatest Flamenco dancer, Jose Zecco (Jack). There is much Latin dancing, including a tango between Moreno and Jack, who looks like a bored Rudolph Valentino. Mel Blanc and Jack re-stage their famous "Si/Sy/Sue" routine.moreless - Ep 18Jack Rents His House2/5/63
Jack's is discussing his shows in New York and Toronto when the Larsons interrupt to get a picture with Jack. They keep inviting relatives to be in the shot until Jack is stuck behind the camera for a family photo.
''As Jack and Rochester pack for the trip, Don and Lois interrupt with a domestic tiff over Jell-O. The president and veep of Jack's Pasadena fan club bring a going away gift: long underwear autographed by the members. Then, travel agent Frank Nelson brings the airline tickets. The Bensons, who are renting Jack's house, almost back out because Jack's had the gas and water turned off and electricity only after dark. A swarm of their relatives barge in: it's the Larson family from the monologue.moreless - Ep 17Peter Lorre/Joanie Sommers Show1/22/63
Jack introduces creepy and villainous Peter Lorre. Lorre claims he's nothing like his movie image, all the while waving a switchblade around. To prove he's adorable, he sings, "I Want a Girl, Just Like the Girl, Who Murdered Dear Old Dad".''Joanie Sommers follows with "I'll Never Stop Loving You."''Jack says he's been so nervous with Lorre around, he's had nightmares. In his dream, Jack's in a doctor's office when escaped murderer Lorre comes in and demands the doc give him a new face. When the bandages are unwrapped, he look's like Jack! (It's Benny with padding and Lorre's voice dubbed in.) He shoots Jack, planning to take over his identity. The fake "Jack" walks on stage, gets no laughs, and proceeds to shoot crew members and Don Wilson.moreless - Ep 16Twilight Zone Sketch1/15/63
Jack hires Rod Serling to work with his two writers to improve the quality of the show. Rod decides he can't write comedy since it doesn't make any sense to him. Jack argues that Twilight Zone does? ''This leads to the sketch where Jack wanders through the fog until he sees the signpost up ahead informing him he's in Twilight Zone, Population: Unlimited. Jack spots his house and goes in, but Rochester doesn't recognize him. Neither does the home's owner and town's mayor, Mr. Twlight Zone, who thinks he's nuts. He calls over a psychologist, Dennis, who also refuses to believe he's some TV star named Jack Benny.moreless - Ep 15Jack Meets Max Bygraves1/8/63
Jack introduces his guest, British comedian/singer Max Bygraves. The pair chat and Bygraves performs a monologue.
''In the sketch, Jack recalls his first contact with the comic eight years earlier. Jack was watching a British TV show Bygraves was performing and was stunned by what he saw: Max had stolen his entire act. The comic lied about his age and claimed to be a cheapskate. He had a fat announcer named Don Wilton, a singer named Dennis Knight, and a valet named Manchester.moreless - Ep 14Jack Attends The Rose Bowl1/1/63
When inviting his sponsors to his New Year's Eve party, Jack recalls the year he invited his gal friend, Zelda, to attend the party. The next day, cheapskate Jack takes her to the Rose Bowl Game and watches every penny he spends. This insures problems with the hot dog vendor and the man at the ticket booth.moreless - Ep 13The Story of the New Talent Show12/25/62
Benny conducts another of his new talent shows. Mel Blanc appears as Frenchman Franque Finque who does animal impressions. Don Wilson does his impression of Ted Lewis by performing "Me and My Shadow" with his "son" Harlow. The Renaudi Brothers, one a sharpshooter and the other, who claims to be the fastest man in the world, do their amazing act. The "fastest man" dodges three bullets fired by his brother-- before being killed by the last five. Also performing are the Sentimental Sweethearts, an orchestra made up of the little old ladies of the Jack Benny Fan Club, Pasadena chapter.moreless - Ep 12Jack And The Crying Cab Driver12/18/62
Jack encounters nothing but headaches trying to make a flight to New York. He catches a taxi from his home and contends with an emotional cabbie who cries uncontrollably because he always hates saying goodbye at the airport. Once inside, he encounters the Mexican Sy (the one with a sister named Sue who sews), a painter who can't spell the sponsor's name correctly, outrageous announcements on the P.A. system, and the always-sarcastic Frank Nelson behind a counter.moreless - Ep 11Jack Referees a Wrestling Match12/11/62
A charity event is being planned by the wives of several Hollywood stars and Jack is disappointed because he hasn't been asked to participate. When he drops by Milton Berle's house, the ladies (Evelyn (Phil) Silvers, Ruth (Milton) Berle, Eden (Groucho) Marx, Ann (Kirk) Douglas) hide all evidence because they don't want him playing his lousy violin in their show.''Refusing to take "No" for an answer, Benny jumps at the chance to replace the canceling Burt Lancaster--as a wrestling referee.''Knowing nothing about the sport, Jack takes a beating when he's caught between burly wrestlers Count Billy Varga and Gene Le Bell. After they've tossed him out of the ring, he gets angry.moreless - Ep 10Jack and Bob Hope In Vaudeville12/4/62
Bob Hope interrupts Jack's monologue to trade insults and discuss their careers. This leads into a sketch about the two of them having been a team in vaudeville (though Hope ad libs he didn't know they were a team until rehearsal today).''The Sportsmen sing "I Want a Girl Just Like the Girl That Married Dear Old Dad." ''Vaudevillians Benny and Hope try to get an audition with a talent agent. Once they get into Mr. Weber's office, they're interrupted by a teenager who sounds an awful like a young Jimmy Durante. Benny plays "Tea for Two" while Hope does some bad soft shoe and they exchange corny jokes. Weber offers them a job in Akron working for nothing with a talking chicken; they take the gig.moreless - Ep 9Jack Meets a Japanese Agent11/27/62
Romi Yamada and Jack Soo from Flower Drum Song are the guests.''Romi performs a song in Japanese and Jack wants to book her for more appearances--at a very cheap price. Her agent begs to differ.''Jack Soo hosts a Japanese version of The Ed Sullivan Show. Guests include the Rocky Fellers playing "Long Tall Sally" with vocalist Jack in a wig and gold lame suit. Mel Blanc is the mike-boom operator who can't stay awake.moreless - Ep 8Jack Gives a Dinner Party11/20/62
Famous cheapskate Jack throws a lavish, black-tie party at his home, complete with hors d'oeuvres and a fine dining. This has his guests confused, including Jimmy and Gloria Stuart, who remember one party when bobbing for apples was the meal. They can't figure out what Jack is up to. Finally, one of the waiters lets the secret slip.''Jimmy sings and plays "My Blue Heaven" on piano.moreless - Ep 7Jack Plays Tarzan11/13/62
Jack scraps his usual monologue, he claims, to get his money's worth out of expensive guest Carol Burnett. He chats with Carol who, in a running joke, does a "bump and grind" dance whenever "The Stripper" is played. Burnett sings "The Trolley Song".
''The two discuss a jungle film they both saw, which leads into a Tarzan spoof. Carol plays Jane, "Harlow" is their son, and Jack is the ape man, dressed in leopard skin and phony muscles. After 20 years of marriage, Jane is fed up with jungle housekeeping and her shy husband who always jumps when she does her "Tarzan yell." Tarzan gets even by playing his violin which drives the jungle animals insane.moreless - Ep 6My Gang Comedy10/30/62
Jack welcomes his guest Darla Hood, best known from the Our Gang/Little Rascals comedies. She sings "It's a Most Unusual Day" and tells Jack that his cast reminds her of her old co-stars.''The sketch is a takeoff on her old films with "youngster" Jack as Alfie, Rochester as Oatmeal, Dennis as rich kid Rodney, Don as Spunky, and Darla as herself. Rodney says he's entering Fifi in a dog show, so Alfie naturally wants to enter their mascot, Spot. Since the contest is only for French poodles, Alfie decides to glue the fur from his mother's new coat onto their dog.moreless - Ep 5Lawrence Welk Show10/23/62
The show opens with Lawrence Welk and his orchestra performing "Row, Row, Row". In their chat, Jack says that conducting is just a "racket" and that anyone can do it. To prove his point, Benny tries out the baton and the music is a cacophony of noise.''Jack confesses his real reason for having Lawrence on is to get his band to play the sappy song he composed: "When You Say I Beg Your Pardon, Then I'll Come Back To You". Jack throws out a violinist and joins the orchestra for their rendition of his tune. Welk thinks it's lousy, so to save the song, he turns it into a polka. Couples come onstage to dance, including the President and Secretary of Jack's Pasadena Fan Club.moreless - Ep 4Air Force Sketch10/16/62
Guest Raymond Burr confesses his desire to become a comedian and demonstrates his new zany baggy-pants routine on Jack. Benny tells him that most any drama can be turned into a comedy with a few changes, and he demonstrates by reworking a dramatic scene from one of Burr's old movies. - Ep 3Phil Silvers Show10/9/62
In the dressing room before the show, Jack calls for a barber, who turns out to be a nut and a Phil Silvers fan. Silvers swipes Jack's pants and opens the show, going through Jack's pants pockets on stage. Jack finally makes it out wearing Don's huge pants.
''In the sketch, Jack recalls when he first met Phil. Silvers shows up at Jack's house with a note pinned on him from Jack's Aunt Sudie. She asks Jack to help the young man get a break show business. He proceeds to mooch off Jack, play the clarinet at 4AM, and sell Jack's violin for poker money. When Aunt Sudie comes by and doesn't recognize Silvers, Jack tosses the freeloader out.moreless - Ep 2Frank Sinatra, Jr. Show10/2/62
Jack's guest, Frank Sinatra, Jr., makes his national TV debut and sings "My Kind of Girl." Don brings out his son Harlow to proudly announce it's the boy's 19th birthday. Jack and Harlow snipe at each other while Don does the Jell-O commercial.''After seeing Don with his son, and Frank Jr. play the piano and sing, Jack imagines what it would be like if he had a boy. Playing his own imaginary son, Jack Benny Jr., he appears with Harlow and Frank Jr. as typical teenagers in a wild spoof of the "Twist" dance craze. The group performs the rock and roll tune "She Has a Wig, Contact Lenses, and a Nose Job."''moreless - Ep 1Sammy Davis, Jr. Show9/25/62
Jack opens his 13th season on television with this move to Tuesdays nights, marking the first time in 28 years his program hasn't aired on a Sunday. Jack devotes his efforts to making sure the word gets out. His regulars Don Wilson, Dennis Day, and Rochester are on hand, and his "surprise guest" is Sammy Davis, Jr.moreless
-
Season 12
- Ep 26Jack Takes in a Boarder4/22/62
Jack advertises for a boarder and gets a non-stop parade off oddballs. Hillbilly entertainer Cousin Emmy and her kinfolk show up and play with Don on the State Farm commercial. Frank Nelson causes Jack headaches as a representative of the telephone company. - Ep 25Modern Prison Sketch4/15/62
Mickey Rooney is the guest because Jack gave him tickets to the show and then tricks him into performing.''In the sketch, Jack and Mickey portray a couple of spoiled inmates in a modern prison (of 1985). The facilities are so cushy and luxurious, it's more like a vacation resort. Not surprisingly, no one wants to be discharged.moreless - Ep 24Jack is a Violin Teacher4/8/62
Dennis Day performs "On the First Warm Day."''Following a magazine interview about his life, Jack dreams about what would have happened had he never left Waukegan and become a comedian. As a struggling violin teacher in his hometown, he fails to impress his students, all whom play better than he does. Even offering "bargain rates" on lessons fails to attract much business. With his furniture being repossessed, his shrill wife is threatening to leave him.moreless - Ep 23Jack Goes Back Into Pictures4/1/62
Rochester unsuccessfully tries to calm down his exuberant boss. Jack is giddy because he thinks director Billy Wilder wants him to star in his next picture. - Ep 22Crazy Airport3/25/62
Dennis takes over the show because Jack hasn't arrived at the studio. He's running late because of his penny-pinching; he flew in on a cut-rate airline that lands its planes in a pasture instead of at an airport. Jack has nothing but trouble with the nutty pilot, a baggage handler and a farmer.''Don and Dennis sing the State Farm commercial to the tune of "Side By Side."moreless - Ep 21Shari Lewis Show3/18/62
Jack is in his office getting a haircut from Rochester when his director informs him that there are too many acts booked on his annual variety show. There's simply no room for Shari Lewis on the program. ''Shari and Lambchop arrive and Jack finds her so charming that he can't bring himself to bump her. Jack is amazed when the choreographer comes in looking for a piano player and Shari volunteers. He's amazed by her versatility when she also sings, dances and does magic tricks. Seeing a way to save on his show, Jack hires Lewis and cancels all the other acts. Sheri and Jack perform "Alabamy Bound" on piano and violin.moreless - Ep 20Alexander Hamilton Show3/11/62
The cast has gathered at Jack's house to read through the show's script. While their waiting for it to arrive, Dennis sings "April Showers". When it arrives, the memograph office has mistakenly sent an episode of The Lone Ranger.''After sending the cast home, Jack reads from a history book about Alexander Hamilton and dreams he's the famous man. Hamilton has happy feet; everytime he hears a minuet from Dolly Madison's party across the street, he breaks into dance with whomever's around. Ben Franklin drops by because his kite's stuck on the roof, as does Aaron Burr, who challenges him to a duel. Burr's first shot sends Hamilton's powdered wig flying into the air.moreless - Ep 19Julie London Show3/4/62
Supposedly in response to many fan letters, Jack intends to play a complete song on his violin. He starts the tune, only to be interrupted by a 12-year-old girl, Toni Marcus, who wants his autograph. As Jack signs her book, she grabs the violin and beautifully plays the song he was massacring.''Julie London performs "Daddy, You Ought to Get the Best For Me", then chats and flirts shamelessly with Jack. She serenades him with "You're Sweet That Way" as he melts like butter.''The young girl returns and wants to perform "Getting to Know You" like Jack had famously done with Gisele MacKenzie. The two close the show with a violin duet of the number.moreless - Ep 18Rock Hudson Show2/18/62
Benny's monologue is interrupted by the audience with their chants of "We want Rock!" Hudson and Benny compare the effects of their kisses on a blindfolded young lady.''In the sketch, Jack does an impressive impression of Jack Paar in a take-off of his Tonight Show. Paar's actual announcer/sidekick Hugh Downs appears as himself. Benny/Paar brings out his first guest, young harmonica-playing, Twist-teaching dance instructor Irving Hudson. Jack suggests he change his name to Rock: Irving Rock. The sketch with everyone learning "The Twist" from Hudson.moreless - Ep 17Ghost Town Western2/11/62
Jack and Gisele take a shortcut while driving from Phoenix to L.A., get lost, and stop in a diner in a ghost town for directions. The cafe owner tells them a story about bad guy Tombstone Harry and Cactus Kid (Benny) who have a gunfight over saloon singer Tess. Gisele sings "Buttons and Bows" for the cowboys. The Cactus Kid, unfortunately, can't shoot straight.''Don Wilson, Gisele and the Sportsmen Quartet do the State Farm commercial to the tune of "I'm an Old Cowhand From the Rio Grande."moreless - Ep 16Police Station Show2/4/62
Jack is late so Don is rehearsing with his stand-in, Charlie. When Jack finally arrives, the stand-in criticizes Benny's entrance. A phone call from Rochester brings horrible news: Jack's Maxwell has been stolen.''Don rehearses the Lipton commercial with Charlie.''Jack hurries to the report the missing auto and finds the Beverly Hills Police station incredibly ritzy and plush. Even their hounds are French poodles. Rochester is questioned by the cops. Soon enough, the car turns up; it was returned to Jack's house by the thieves.moreless - Ep 15How Jack Met Rochester1/28/62
Dennis Day performs "It's a Grand Night for Singing."''Jack tells a reporter how he met Rochester. In a flashback, Jack is making his big move from New York to Hollywood and trying to do it as cheaply as possible. Rochester is the porter on the train Jack is taking westward. Jack attempts to smuggle Don and Dennis on without without paying their tickets, but his scheme only results in Rochester getting fired for not reporting Benny's scam. Grateful, Jack offers Rochester the job as his valet/butler/nursemaid.moreless - Ep 14Jack Gets a Passport1/21/62
In the monologue, Jack claims the musicians' union has given him a one-way ticket to Australia to play violin concerts there. Dennis sings "Make Someone Happy." Don enters with the messenger delivering Jack's passport.''Jack recalls the trouble he had years earlier trying to get a permit to work in London. He was caught in endless red tape and his attempts at humor with the British bureaucrats only garnered blank stares.moreless - Ep 13Dennis Day's Surprise Birthday Party1/14/62
Hiding in one of Benny's closets, Dennis overhears Jack's plans to throw a surprise costume birthday party for him. It's obvious it's not a secret when Dennis arrives at the party dressed as a leprechaun. Dennis' protective mother gives Jack the usual earful. - Ep 12Jack Does Opera1/7/62
The monologue is about TV make-up.''Jack's guest is Metropolitan Opera star Roberta Peters, who sings "Shadow Song" from "Dinorah".''Don threatens to quit after Jack's cuts the Lipton Tea commercial from the show. He reconsiders when Jack confiscates his teabag. Rochester makes a fried egg sandwich for Jack without leaving the living room using an extendable hand. Jack listens to a record Peters gave him and dreams he's singing La Traviata with her.moreless - Ep 11New Year's Eve12/31/61
Jack explains to a reporter how he spent last New Year's Eve.
''In the flashback, several musicians are celebrating in Jack's dressing room prior to heading to Don's house for the big party. Dennis comes in dressed as baby New Year, then sings the State Farm commercial with Don accompanying on tuba. Jack, dressed in black tie and tails, informs the boys he'll miss the party because he has a big date on the town with his new gal Gloria.
''Gloria calls and cancels, leaving Jack with no plans. Dejectedly, he wanders the streets, stopping into a diner for a bowl of soup. The waitress, Gloria, apologizes for canceling because of work.
''Back at home, he finds Rochester, also dressed up, heading out to celebrate. Feeling sad that Jack's all alone, Rochester stays home and the two ring in the New Year over a bottle of champagne.moreless - Ep 10Christmas Party12/24/61
To prove he's not a cheapskate, Jack throws a Christmas party for his cast and crew; he even hands out surprise gifts. Frank Nelson, there with his "wife," finds Benny's sudden looseness with money suspicious and uncovers the secret behind Jack's sudden generosity.
''Don Wilson conducts an applause test of three Santa Clauses for the Lipton Tea commercial.
''In the warm finale, the regulars gather around a Christmas tree and welcome Mel Blanc, making his first appearance since his near-fatal car accident. He exchanges a few quips with Jack and does some of the voices he's performed on the show including Sy and Professor LeBlanc.moreless - Ep 9Jack Writes a Song12/17/61
Jack wrote a song titled "When You Say I Beg Your Pardon, Then I'll Come Back To You." It's so putrid, whenever he sings it, windows automatically fly open. He asks film composer Dimitri Tiomkin to come over, hoping to convince the famous writer to arrange the tune for him. Don drops by to do his State Farm commercial and insult Jack's musical masterpiece. Locksmiths also show up to try to open his vault, the entrance to which is hidden behind a revolving bookcase. ''Jack sings the song for Tiomkin, who thinks it's lousy. As Jack picks up the violin to play the lilting melody for him, the locksmiths begin blasting, the windows fly open, plaster begins falling and Dimitri makes a dash for the door.moreless - Ep 8Jack Goes To The Cafeteria12/10/61
Taking the bus to the studio, Jack asks the man beside him to help him rehearse a scene from the show. The two attract unwanted attention playing an arguing husband and wife. ''While waiting for Jack to arrive, Jane Morgan sings "The Second Time Around." When he finally gets to work, Jack flirts with Jane, and invites her to lunch at a cafeteria. After arguing with every employee working the food line, he and Jane rehearse the "arguing couple" sketch. The others in the cafeteria think they're actually fighting and begin to take sides. Soon, a full-fledged brawl breaks out.moreless - Ep 7Jack Is Followed Home12/3/61
Guest star Bobby Rydell sings "Sitting On Top Of The World," and "Toot Toot Tootsie Goodbye."''After the show, Jack is followed home, and a rock is thrown through his window.''The rock thrower turns out to be Dennis, who is mad at Jack because Bobby sang instead of Dennis Day.''Jack decides to take the law into his own hands, when he punishes Dennis.moreless - Ep 6Jack Plays Golf11/26/61
No one at Hillcrest wants to play golf with Jack because he's such a cheat. Members, including Don, now golf at sunrise to avoid him. He manages to make up a foursome with golf pro Eric Monti and two unsuspecting out-of-towners. Jack talks them into a high-stakes wager: ten cents for the game.''Don does the Lipton Tea commercial in the locker-room.''On the course, Jack cheats repeatedly, irritating the visitors to the point that they quit. Monti arranges to get an "important call" to get out of playing. When it's just Jack and the caddy, he hits a hole in one. He's delighted until he remembers that it's tradition to buy free drinks for everyone in the clubhouse.moreless - Ep 5Tennessee Ernie Ford Show11/19/61
No one bothered to tell Jack that his guest, Tennessee Ernie Ford, would be appearing via live remote from his farm in Lakeport, CA. The two chat about farming and Ernie sings "John Henry" at his barn before the picture goes black. When the picture comes back, it's an attractive woman; Ernie says it's one of his "pea pickers." Ford also displays the square egg he's developed. The technology goes haywire when they attempt a split-screen fiddle duet of "Sweet Georgia Brown." Finally, things go berserk and Jack ending up in Ernie's barn and Ernie on Jack's studio stage.''Don does the State Farm commercial with a man on a pogo stick.moreless - Ep 4Jack Takes The Stewarts To a Play11/12/61
Don and his wife cancel plans to join Jack and his girlfriend for a play. Not about to waste tickets, Jack calls his old friends Jimmy and Gloria Stewart to ask if they'd like to go. Mistaking Jack Benny for Jack Lemmon, they're delighted to attend.''Outside the theater, a bum asks Jack for a dime; Jack gives him a Lipton tea bag. When Benny's free passes turn out to be invalid on weekends, the Stewarts plan to ditch Jack by claiming they need to buy a lamp. Jack takes them to a sleazy auction which features a striptease, an elephant leg stool, an obnoxious auctioneer, and free donuts.moreless - Ep 3Jack on Trial For Murder11/5/61
Jack receives a court summons because his rooster is bothering the neighbors. He consults a loopy lawyer, Frank Nelson, who says he learned law by watching Perry Mason. His advice to Jack is to plead insanity. ''Jack returns home and finds Don and a Hawaiian woman doing the hula for the State Farm commercial.''Jack dozes off and dreams he's on trial for the cold-blooded murder of the rooster. His lawyer is Raymond Burr as Perry Mason. Mason blames his lousy job of defending Jack on the Benny's writers, saying his are much better. Jack has the usual courtroom breakdown scene and confesses to being the bird murderer.moreless - Ep 2Waukegan Show10/22/61
This episode was recorded in Jack's hometown of Waukegan, Illinois during a recent celebration of its famous former citizen. Don Wilson shows the construction of the brand new Jack Benny Junior High School. Dennis Day, who's not impressed (there are "day schools" everywhere), sings "If Ever I Would Leave You." ''Jack, Don and the glee club from Benny High sing a State Farm commercial.''The mayor of Waukegan presents Benny items to be sealed into the school's cornerstone including his first toy (a cash register), and a (broken) baton from his first violin lesson.''A captain from the Great Lakes Naval Training Station reads highlights of Jack's Navy career, discovers Benny was never discharged, and has him hauled away to complete his duty.moreless - Ep 1Season Premiere10/15/61
Benny begins his 12th season on television with this episode taped in New York City. Jack introduces Phil Silvers in the audience, who promptly comes on stage and the two trade insults. Phil wants to know if Jack has signed his new contract; Benny tells him that's very the reason he's in town. ''Don's attempt to do the commercial is fouled up by Jack who tries different wigs on the bald announcer. Guest Betty Johnson sings "My Kind of Guy."
''In the sketch, Jack goes to his sponsor's office to sign his latest contract. While he waits in the lobby, Silvers is inside trying to talk the sponsor into replacing Jack with himself. Unable to escape without being seen, Phil hides in the closet while Jack comes in and makes his pitch. After finishing, Jack opens the wrong door and finds Silvers...and Garry Moore, Alan King, and Jack Paar. They're also after Benny's job.moreless
-
Season 11
-
Season 10
-
Season 9
-
Season 8
-
Season 7
-
Season 6
-
Season 5
-
Season 4
-
Season 3
-
Season 2
-
Season 1
