One of the poems Jack writes on the card for Don's gift:
Your pear-shaped tone, many announcers ape,
But no one can ape your pear-shaped shape.
Richard Deacon: (sarcastic clerk to Dennis Day) I wouldn't know. I'm standing behind this counter because, in a moment of wild enthusiasm, I sold my pants.
Salesman: Your father was scared of your mother?
Dennis Day: Everybody's scared of my mother, when I was born the stork dropped me a block away from the house, good thing I knew the address.
Salesman: Here's a nice little garments, a genuine silk nightie.
Jack: Oh it is nice...but what are the loops for?
Salesman: 'Da loops?
Jack: Yeah 'da loops, what are 'da loops for?
Salesman: Oh that's for when you go to bed, you loop them over your toes and that way the nightgown don't creep up on you.
Jack: I wonder where the jewelry department is.
Thief: It's that way.
Jack: I hope they still have a nice selection.
Jack: I want to see a watch.
Saleswoman: For a man, woman, or dog?
Saleswoman: Well this is Beverly Hills.
Jack: A woman, I don't know any dogs.
Jack: I don't want to duplicate anything, what did I give you for Christmas last year?
Rochester: A brand new dollar bill...and a lecture on the evils of wine, women and song.
Jack: Oh yeah, well that was a gag, I did that to make you laugh.
Rochester: I wish you would've told me, I cried all night.
This episode was originally staged on the episode Christmas Show airing 12/15/1957.
This Christmas shopping sketch was adapted from the 12/19/1948 episode of Jack Benny's radio series.