Frank Nelson's law school diploma gives his name as "Frank Brandon."
Jack: (Rochester plans to be Jack's lawyer) What in the world made you think I was going to let you defend me?
Rochester: I didn't think you'd let me take out your appendix either.
Jack: Well, that was different. That was an emergency!
Drunk: You want to know something, after being married for 25 years, my wife still has the same figure.
Jack: Well, that's wonderful.
Drunk: What's so wonderful about it. She was a fat slob when I married her!