The Jack Benny Program - Season 14

CBS (ended 1965)




Episode Guide

  • I Am The Fiddler
    I Am The Fiddler
    Episode 28
    In his final show for CBS, Jack reminisces about the old days of radio and it's ability to paint pictures in the mind. To assist, Mel Blanc demonstrates his various voices. In a take-off of the radio character "The Whister", Jack assumes the role of the black-caped mischief-maker "The Fiddler". Blanc and Dennis Day are his victims.moreless
  • Harlow Gets a Date
    Harlow Gets a Date
    Episode 27
    Don has arranged for Harlow to take the sponsor's daughter on a date. That gives Jack and Don just three days to change his clod of a son into a suave man of the world. Harlow puts his newly-found charms to work for the wrong purposes.
  • Jack Goes To An Allergy Doctor
    Jack hold a meeting in his dressing room to grouse at the cast and crew about a sloppy show. He begins to itch and, thinking he's having a reaction to something, goes to see a doctor where the patients scratch and sneeze in unison. Hating needles, Benny marches out mid-exam in search of another specialist. He settles on an odd one who performs some goofy and very unscientific tests on the itching patient. The source of Jack's irritation turns out not to be a "what", but a "who": Dennis Day.moreless
  • The Lettermen Show
    The Lettermen Show
    Episode 25
    Jack's monologue is interrupted by Dennis Day who comes out with props, prepared to sing. He's angry to learn that The Lettermen would be doing the songs. The Lettermen perform "Love Is a Many Splendored Thing". As they begin their second number, Dennis picks them off one by one and finishes their song. Jack imagines what it would be like if he'd gone to college. His roommates are played by The Letterman; Jack is a freshmen who looks 39. In class, chemistry is taught by a nutty German professor who plays "Yankee Doodle" on his flasks. When he writes the chemical formula for a nuclear bomb on the chalk board, it explodes. Tired of Jack's money-making schemes, the roommates hope to catch him in the act of selling answers to tests. The buyer of the answers is Professor Von Krausmeyer.moreless
  • Jack Renews His Driver's License

    Jack rehearses some Dixieland music with members of his band at the studio. He does a public service announcement for safe driving and finds out his driver's license has expired. On the way to the golf course, Jack and Don drop by the Department of Motor Vehicles to have it renewed.
    Renewing should be simple, but Jack's has trouble with everyone. A man who doesn't work there accepts his $3 fee and runs, a grumpy guard accuses him of cheating, and the man giving the eye exam can't see. Getting his photo taken is an ordeal as the photographer thinks he's Erich von Stroheim directing a film.

  • Jack Is a Boxing Manager
    Jack visits a restaurant owned by an ex-boxer and begins daydreaming about being an old-time fight manager. His protege, Dennis "Kid Dynamite" Day, thinks "Doc" Benny is the best because he let's him fight twice a day. A gorgeous blond, however, stands in the way of Doc making some quick money.moreless
  • Jack Redecorates His House
    After taking abuse from his card game buddies about a hideous chair he's just had reupholstered, Jack hires a sexy home decorator to update his home. Her ideas involve zebra stripes.
  • Jack And Dennis Do Impersonations
    JAck fulfills viewers' requests. One asks for Dennis to sing "Love In Bloom," but he doesn't know it. Someone asks Jack to give Harlow a break, so Don's son impersonates Sophie Tucker in the State Farm commercial. A woman wants Jack to put her husband's animal on the show; he's promptly is eaten by his lion. One request is to have Jackie Gleason back on. Complete with (two) dancing girls, Jack plays Gleason in a take-off Gleason's variety show. Dennis impersonates Crazy Guggenheim. Benny's promise to impersonate Danny Kaye is interrupted by the real Kaye. The final request for Jack to play a classical number on his violin is stopped when the lion chases him from the stage.moreless
  • The Final LeBlanc Sketch
    Jack receives a call from a psychiatrist, Dr. Johnson, asking him to identify a man who keeps repeating Benny's name. The delirious man is Jack's violin teacher, Professor Le Blanc. In flashbacks, we witness the crash and burn of Professor Le Blanc as Benny's heinous violin fiddling eventually drives him insane. Jack decides the only way to cure the man is to play his instrument, and, for the first time, he plays beautifully. Realizing he's not a failure, Le Blanc regains his memory. Jack orders Dr. Johnson not to tell anyone that he's a good violinist; he makes much more money being a bad one.moreless
  • How Jack Found Dennis
    Jack explains how he manages to look so good on TV after all these years: long shots. In close-ups, he's nothing but wrinkles. Dennis brings out his own palm tree as scenery and performs "Cocktails for Two." Don's State Farm Insurance commercial features a yodeling Swiss chalet owner who Jack tries to muzzle.
    It's Dennis' 24th anniversary of working with Jack. Benny tells his version of how he discovered Day and hired him for his radio show. Jack hears Dennis' demo record and sets out to find him, following him through a parade of jobs (fish market, ice cream shop) from which he was fired. Jack finally locates him working in the kitchen of a Chinese restaurant.moreless
  • Don Breaks His Leg
    Don Breaks His Leg
    Episode 18
    Don pretends to break his leg so that his doofus son Harlow can fill in for him on the show. Harlow reads his self-penned poem "Ode to California." When Jack finds out Don's a faker, he goes to the Wilson home to make him squirm. Jack's most successful talent find, Miss Beverly Hills, returns and sings "Only One Man". She then shocks Benny by launching into a striptease performance.moreless
  • Bobby Darin Show
    Bobby Darin Show
    Episode 17
    After a huge compliment from Bobby Darrin, Jack is convinced he's the perfect man to play him in the movie of his life. Jack invites him to move in for a few days to get to know the "real" Benny. (Bobby learns that Jack takes in dry cleaning, has a recording studio in his living room, and isn't 39.) By the time they're ready to sign the contract, Bobby has turned into an exact copy of Jack--including the greediness.moreless
  • Nat King Cole Show
    Nat King Cole Show
    Episode 16
    Nat "King" Cole opens the show singing "Day In, Day Out." He exchanges some ribbing with Jack and performs "When I Fall in Love." Jack invites a few musicians from the orchestra to join him in his office to rehearse "Sweet Sue", a number they're going to perform with Cole. A fight between the musicians leaves the drummer out of commission, so Nat promises to have his cousin fill in. On the show, the "cousin" is a five-year-old who can drum louder than Jack's violin solo.moreless
  • Peter, Paul and Mary Show
    Peter, Paul and Mary sing Blowin' in the Wind. To show that a folk song can be written from any bit of folklore, they perform "Waukegan", a song they wrote based around Jack's age, cheapness, and other faults.
    Jack invites the group to his home to try and talk them into recording the dreadful tune he wrote, "If You Say 'I Beg Your Pardon', Then I'll Come Back to You." When his his accompanist Ned arrives, he has PP&M sing his composition. As with every previous performer, they want nothing to do with the crummy song. Ned tells Jack it would have been a hit if they'd recorded it. Jack says not to worry; he had a tape recorder hidden in the piano.moreless
  • How Jack Met George Burns
    Old buddies Benny and Burns trade jokes and insults. George needles him about his pettiness in golfing before recalling their first meeting during the vaudeville days. In the flashback, they are each staying in a seedy boarding house when they decide to team up. Their act, full of awful jokes and ridiculous songs, is a flop. Jack, being Jack, demands a raise, even though they aren't making a dime. George claims their problem is Benny; anyone could do Jack's part better--even the landlord's daughter. That girl's name: Gracie Allen.moreless
  • Jack Alone On New Year's Eve
    Jack gives the cast the night off and does the show himself. He talks with Mary Livingstone on the phone and takes questions from the audience, some legit, some planted. When asked his age, he responds that everything is marked down after Christmas. Jack has the audience sing "Auld Lang Syne" and read the commercial while he provides sounds effects. He also talks about Dennis Day's Christmas present, his Maxwell, Phil Harris in Korea, and George Burns.moreless
  • George Jessel/Amateur Show
    Jack hosts another of his amateur talent contests. Contestants this round include a barefoot tap dancer, a dog act, a drunk acrobat, and a Mexican musical group, Tijuana Troubadours, led by Mel Blanc. George Jessel accompanies his nephew who's supposedly a great tuba player. The kid gives Jack and George grief all throughout the show.moreless
  • Three Musketeers Sketch
    Jack talks about golfing in his monologue. He chats with a TV statistician who has monitored all of Jack's programs and found that Benny has told 80,000 jokes...and only gotten 30,000 laughs. Dennis storms on stage and says he's quitting because Jack has called him stupid 2,000 times. In the sketch, it's back to the 18th century as Jack, Don, and Dennis play the Three Musketeers. Jack's character gets into a romance with an attractive spy.moreless
  • Dennis Drives Jack to the Hospital
    Jack is trying to work on a Julius Caesar sketch, while being pursued by a female fan. Wanting to take over the show for a few weeks, Dennis hatches a plan to make Jack think he's becoming unhinged. He hires an impressionist to make phone calls, as Benny, to receptionists, doctors--anyone and everyone. Naturally, Jack doesn't recall having talked to any of these people and begins to question his sanity. Upon hearing his own voice, and it wasn't coming from his mouth, Jack checks himself into a hospital.moreless
  • Jack Takes a Boat to Hawaii
    Jack is waiting to take a ship back home after vacationing in Hawaii. Schlepperman, a character from Jack's radio days, appears to present Jack with a lei made of chicken livers. Rochester arrives late, having been crowned King Kameamea VI by the islanders.
    On the ship board, Dennis tells Jack he swam all the way to Hawaii, then jumps overboard to swim home. Falling asleep in a deck chair, Jack dreams the heavyset woman sitting beside him is Jayne Mansfield and that she finds him irresistible. He proposes but she's concerned about their age difference. She coos the song "You're Just Too Marvelous For Words" to Jack and agrees to meet him for dinner. He chases after her, being awakened by a huge kiss from the chubby woman.moreless
  • Robinson Crusoe Sketch
    Jack tries to get out of paying a 14-cent overdue fine by presenting the librarian with a note from his doctor. Dennis checks out books by Gibbon and Velben so he'll look smart when he walks past UCLA on his way home. Don barges into the library to hawk State Farm Insurance. The sketch is a take-off on Robinson Crusoe with Jack as the bearded castaway and Dennis as his man Friday.moreless
  • Ed Sullivan Show
    Ed Sullivan Show
    Episode 7
    The sketch is a French courtroom drama with Jack playing the prosecutor and Ed Sullivan as Gentleman Jim Sullivan, the defense attorney. Sullivan does much emoting as he represents a beautiful French girl accused of murdering her husband. Don Wilson is the commentator.
  • Jack Directs a Film
    Jack hears Jimmy and Gloria Stewart say some nice things about him on a TV talk show and decides to thank them in person. Visiting the couple on the set of the movie they're making, Jack can't help but offer advice on how the couple should play the scene and how the director should film it. Soon, the production is in shambles.moreless
  • Johnny Carson Show
    Johnny Carson Show
    Episode 5
    Jack tells guest Johnny Carson he should be more versatile on The Tonight Show, so Johnny does card tricks, plays the drums, sings, and dances to Ballin' the Jack. They do a mock version of the Tonight Show where we can hear Carson's thoughts about the guest he's interviewing (Benny).
    Don Wilson does a man-on-the-street interview for the commercial, encountering a guy who thinks he's on Candid Camera and wants to sing.
    Johnny can't believe how Jack never seems to age. Back his the dressing room, he finds out Jack's secret. The Jack Benny "replacement" dummy makes another appearance.moreless
  • Tall Cowboy Sketch
    Tall Cowboy Sketch
    Episode 4
    Jack talks about writing his autobiography in the monologue. He brings out guest Clint Walker and they compare what they have in common: both were born in Illinois, were in the Navy, and have blue eyes. To check, Jack climbs up onto Walker to look into his eyes. Clint sings "Navajo Trail" and mentions they're casting for his twin brother in a new film Don wheels out a table to demonstrate how he can eat a meal and still have room for Jell-o. In elevator shoes and western outfit, Jack shows up at the audition for the role of Walker's brother. After watching another applicant play the scene, a barroom brawl where he gets roughed up and beaten, Benny decides the part's not for him.moreless
  • Riverboat Sketch
    Riverboat Sketch
    Episode 3
    Don, Carol and Jack make their entrance jumping through large doorways covered with paper; Jack can't break through and Carol has to do it for him. Jack and Carol talk about her desire to become a director, and she makes some suggestions about his show. She sings "Sweet Georgia Brown." In the sketch, Jack, Don, and Carol play riverboat card sharks out to cheat each other.moreless
  • Robert Goulet Show
    Robert Goulet Show
    Episode 2
    Jack makes his entrance from the opposite side of the stage, and stands with his back to the audience out of force of habit. Don rolls out a carpet, and Goulet comes out vacuuming it—he had failed to read the fine print on his contract. Goulet tells about growing up in Canada, tells a Nelson Eddy joke, discusses playing nightclubs with Jack, and sings, This is all I ask. Jack questions Goulet's reputation as a ladies' man, leading into the sketch: in flashback, Jack sees Goulet and his girl at a Hollywood nightclub; his girl makes a pass at Jack. Later we learn that in fact Jack's girl made a pass at Goulet.moreless
  • Billy Graham Show
    Billy Graham Show
    Episode 1
    Season opener. Don, Jack and Dennis do the commercial as Peter, Paul and Mary. At Billy Graham's request, the skit is redone according to a new formula in which there are no insults to anyone, and everyone is quiet and sweet; Dennis reports that he went to UCLA over the summer. Billy Graham gives a short inspirational message.moreless
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