The Joe Schmo Show

Season 2 Episode 7

Cruiser

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Aired Tuesday 10:00 PM Jul 26, 2004 on Spike TV
9.1
out of 10
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Episode Summary

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Cruiser
AIRED:
Bryce sends his final message by plane - LOOK BEHIND U and then returns to the show. Derek explains for the benefit of our Schmos that since Austin got to return Ingrid to the show, they felt it would only be fair to let Piper return Bryce. Cammy's Porked and Beans food-fetish video is played for all to see, now with special extended footage that the girls didn't get to see before. The suitors play a game called Professions of Love in which they must express their love for Austin (Romeo) or Piper (Juliet) in the best way they know how. T.J. and Cammy are selected for one-on-one dates, but then the twist comes that they're not so private after all. Throughout the dates, the other suitors say things to them by microphone and they must repeat whatever is said to them during their date. Later, Gerald reveals to Bryce what everyone had been skirting around the entire episode: that his prized frog, Everett is dead. Bryce predictably goes ballistic and lets out his anger on T.J., before finally shifting it to the falcon, Montecore. Later, Tim catches them all out of character, but the situation seems to be smoothed over. Later, Austin is given the power to eliminate of the guys in a special Pearl Necklace ceremony and chooses our very own Joe Schmo: Tim.moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Gretchen Palmer

    Gretchen Palmer

    Ambrosia, The Bitch (Second Woman "Evicted," Season 2)

    Jon Huertas

    Jon Huertas

    TJ, The Playah (Season 2)

    Tim Herzog

    Tim Herzog

    Austin Newton Rice, Mr. Right (Season 2)

    Ralph Garman

    Ralph Garman

    The Smarmy Host (Season 1), Derek Newcastle (Season 2)

    Jonathan Torrens

    Jonathan Torrens

    Gerald, The Gotta-Be Gay Guy (Third Man "Evicted," Season 2)

    Jessica Makinson

    Jessica Makinson

    Eleanor, The Weeper ("Left Of Her Own Accord," Season 2)

    Caleb Reese

    Caleb Reese

    The Plumber / Pierre, Ze French Chef [Uncredited]

    Guest Star

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

    FILTER BY TYPE

    • TRIVIA (1)

      • When the flashback of the scene in which executive producer Anthony Ross tells everyone that the frog is dead plays, close-captioning credits the line to Sean. (Sean Travis, director, apparently)

    • QUOTES (16)

      • Eleanor: You can take your pearl necklace and your half-hearted locket and shove it up your (bleep).
        Announcer: Did he? Find out now on Joe Schmo 2.

      • Ingrid: I see Tim --- his head sort of falls in his hand. And there's this realization: Oh my god. Psycho Man is coming back.

      • Announcer: Later on Joe Schmo 2, the most twisted eviction twist in reality show history.

      • Cammy: All right, let's see Amanda's --- Amanda does a really good impression of Derek.
        Amanda: (with her best British accent) Your lives are going to be over after this evening if you're sent from this house. You can pretty much guarantee that you will have no point in living anymore. Let's get on with the ceremony. Cheers everyone. Smiles.

      • Tim: Who the (bleep) has a pork and beans fetish?

      • Amanda: Bryce, I was going to kill him.
        Bryce: T.J., it's Bryce. You're invading her space. Just, like, lean back a little bit.

      • Tim: Are you wearing anything under that skirt?
        Cammy: No. I try to do that as often as possible.

      • Bryce: You killed him by giving him a donut?
        Cammy: It was a maple bar. I love maple bars.

      • Amanda: T.J. is very sexual. I keep thinking maybe there's a little bit more, but I... I don't know if there is.

      • T.J. : No, birds eat frogs. I don't care.
        Bryce: No, I care! Because it was not a frog, it was a human (bleep) being! It was my pet! You killed it!

      • Tim: The falcon twist of this whole thing was that the falcon ate the frog.

      • Derek: The falcon has spoken, so let's begin. Love, it's why we're all here. But tonight, one of you will be giving up your seat in love's luxurious first class section and instead be cast out into rejection's middle seat in coach. Welcome to the Pearl Necklace Eviction Ceremony.

      • Tim: I can't believe I just fell into the drama trap.

      • Derek: All right, Tim. Austin has made his decision.
        Tim: Yeah, I'm saying goodbye, pal. I'll say you good-bye later.

      • Austin: Gerald, may I give you a pearl necklace?
        Gerald: Absolutely.
        Austin: You don't get a kiss.

      • Gerald: I know you can only give three pearl necklaces tonight, but I can say quite honestly there is nothing in this world I would rather have than a pearl necklace from you.

    • NOTES (2)

      • "Cruiser" is Tim Walsh's (Joe Schmo's) nickname for the Bryce character (The Stalker), and in this episode, he returns. Piper, The Bachelorette, evicted Bryce back in "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner."

      • Tim's use of "Cruiser" is a reference to a psychotic character from the movie Stripes.

    • ALLUSIONS (3)

      • Tim: If I don't see you guys: good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night.
        After he is evicted, Tim reveals that he is fully familiar with the The Truman Show as well. He blurts out a near-duplicate of Truman Burbank's (Jim Carrey) favorite line in the movie: "Good morning! And if I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night!" Presumably, Tim says the line as a sign of leaving the semi-ficitonal world of reality TV with its planned activities and going back to his real life, as opposed to suggesting that he believes the show is fake.

      • Tim: I think this is the Jenga piece that we're about to talk about right now.
        Tim compares telling Bryce about the death of his prized frog, Everett, to pulling the last block from Jenga tower. In Jenga, the object of the game is to build a tall tower using blocks and then take turns removing blocks until finally the tower falls.

      • Cammy: She kind of reminds of you Rainbow Brite.
        When everyone is giving T.J. things to say during his date with Piper, Cammy tells T.J. this. Rainbow Brite was a 1980s cartoon and also a toy line.

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