The Joe Schmo Show

Season 2 Episode 9


Aired Tuesday 10:00 PM Aug 10, 2004 on Spike TV
out of 10
User Rating
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By Users

Episode Summary

After a brief recap of past show events, viewers witness the finale of Joe Schmo 2. Everyone remaining is given some final time to make their case with Austin and Piper before the next elimination and Ingrid tries to make her case by presenting Austin with a resume complete with cover letter. Tim and Amanda are tricked when they're placed in limos thinking they're heading home, but it turns out that Austin and Piper are inside. Both must do some fast explaining to Austin and Piper after a Falcon Twist reveals that they had also been playing for money. Later, they dress up as their own cousins to find out what Austin and Piper really think of them, but hoax is revealed during a game of badminton. Things come to a head in the Last Chance for Love "promise ceremony" when the big deception is finally revealed.moreless

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    Gretchen Palmer

    Gretchen Palmer

    Ambrosia, The Bitch (Second Woman "Evicted," Season 2)

    Jon Huertas

    Jon Huertas

    TJ, The Playah (Season 2)

    Tim Herzog

    Tim Herzog

    Austin Newton Rice, Mr. Right (Season 2)

    Ralph Garman

    Ralph Garman

    The Smarmy Host (Season 1), Derek Newcastle (Season 2)

    Jonathan Torrens

    Jonathan Torrens

    Gerald, The Gotta-Be Gay Guy (Third Man "Evicted," Season 2)

    Jessica Makinson

    Jessica Makinson

    Eleanor, The Weeper ("Left Of Her Own Accord," Season 2)

    Matt Kennedy Gould

    Matt Kennedy Gould

    Pizza Delivery Guy

    Guest Star

    Robin McDonald

    Robin McDonald

    Piper's Mother / Austin's Mother

    Guest Star

    Timothy Brennan (II)

    Timothy Brennan (II)

    Piper's Father / Austin's Father

    Guest Star

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (25)

      • Tim: And now you will be tortured.
        Derek: No, it's better than that. Now that they're gone, I can tell you two why you won't be with your parents.

      • Derek: (to Ingrid and T.J.) All right, here's your new scene. You're thrilled that you didn't get picked and you're totally into each other.

      • Tim: I didn't think you'd be so masochistic as to let someone just go through something like that, but kudos, cheers.

      • Piper: Peek-a-boo.
        Tim: Oh my God. You guys are gonna give me a (bleep) heart attack.

      • Derek: If Austin or Piper are in your car, they have selected you to move on. If not, you'll be going on a one-way trip to rejection's hopeless purgatory.

      • Tim: Yesterday, I honestly, or not --- it wasn't just yesterday, but at some other points, I was like "Is everyone else in on something that I don't know about?" Because is this really happening in my life? Does this really --- like this has to be a joke.

      • Tim: My last chance for love.
        Piper: Your last chance.
        Tim: Gloves are off.

      • Tim: I'm not afraid of the position I'm in against Austin because I think he's pompous.

      • Rhett: Get out there and act like the reality show contestants you are not.

      • Bryce: Mockingbird.
        Tim: (to T.J.) And he's like "mockingbird," like she's gonna be like "Ahh, whoosh, I pick Bryce." Like that is completely insane to me.

      • Derek: Any moment where the falcon lands on my glove, that's just cool. And then, of course, invariably he'll do something retarded.

      • Derek: So what we need you to do is grab a shuttlecock.
        Tim: (as Tom) Huh, he said "cock."

      • Austin: What is this?
        Tim: And then I stayed in character, I was like (as Tom) Hey, what's what going on, man?

      • Derek: That's right, Austin. If you choose, Amanda, she will win 1/10 of a million dollars. Piper, if you choose Tim, he will win well over one third of a quarter of a million dollars.

      • Derek: And this particular set of woods is filled with romance, choices... and falcons. It's time for the final Falcon Twist.

      • Austin: It's a lot of money.
        Amanda: I want money. I want lots of money. I'd love to live a very rich life, but not at the expense of somebody.

      • Amanda: (gasps) I know Rita. No, I know her, like, outside of this show.
        Piper: (interview) No! Not now, not now! At the end of all of this!
        Amanda: She's a comedian. In L.A.

      • Derek: Love. That's why we're all here tonight. But some of you may be forced out of line at love's all-you-can-eat smorgasboard, only to feast on rejection's cold canned beanie weenies. Welcome to the Last Chance for Love promise ceremony.

      • Derek: The only real thing on this reality show is you two. Since you first walked into this house, everything you've witnessed, everything you've done...
        Tim: I knew you were (bleep) fake! You rat bastard.

      • Derek: I wanna see what this final Falcon Twist is.
        Tim: Oh, Jesus (bleep).
        Amanda: Oh my God.
        Derek: Well, this is gonna come as a surprise.
        Tim: I'm gay.
        Gerald: I'm not.

      • Derek: And this is The Joe Schmo Show 2 that you guys are now the stars of.
        Tim: Schmos. I don't feel like a Schmo. I'm (bleep) this is the best thing that ever happened to me.

      • Kevin Kirkpatrick: (actor playing Bryce) I'd never do anything crazy... or would I? No, seriously, I wouldn't.

      • Amanda: This has been absolutely ridiculous, but amazing at the same time and thank you.

      • Bryce: Wait!
        Piper: Holy (bleep)!
        Tim: Oh, Jesus, I -- can I please punch him?

      • Austin: But Piper, you are my past, present, and future all rolled up in one. And I look forward to that future.
        Derek: So, just to clarify, you've chosen Piper?

    • NOTES (5)

      • The dates on the checks say April 3, 2004. That means that the show was taped a little more than 4 months before it aired.

      • Tim can be seen wearing a shirt in this episode that reads as follows: "Quit work. Get some stuff. Go somewhere. Have some fun. (bottom part illegible)"

      • During a promo when Tim says in his Tom persona, "Huh, he said cock," close-captioning reads (bleep) as if they had meant to censor it. The same also happens later when Tim calls Derek / Ralph a "rat bastard."

      • When Matt Kennedy Gould appears, his tag reads Used to Think It Was All Real. After the deception was revealed to Tim and Amanda, their tags read Thought It Was All Real.

      • Two hour finale, began at 9 P.M.

    • ALLUSIONS (6)

      • Derek: In the words of a young lady named Virginia Slims --- "You've come a long way, baby."
        Virginia Slims is actually a brand of cigarettes by the large tobacco company Philip Morris and "You've come a long way, baby" is their slogan.

      • Derek: Your stomachs must be as tight as Paris Hilton's miniskirt by now.
        Paris Hilton is the heiress of the Hilton hotel empire and is well-known for her role on FOX's The Simple Life, as well as for an infamous sex video.

      • Tim: Jackpot.
        Tim's line and his way of saying it refers to the movie Billy Madison, when Billy sees Ms. Vaughn for the first time.

      • Bryce: Just like I'm an actor pretending to be in love with you. We're - we're all actors!
        In the final episode of the first season of Joe Schmo the sort of crazy, disliked asshole Hutch was given the job of revealing that everyone except Matt was in actor. In the second season, the stalker Bryce reveals this in much the same way.

      • Derek: Well, like all great romances of yore - the prince and Cinderella, Romeo and Juliet, Bennifer... We've been through a lot on this journey ... So from all of us at Last Chance for Love, the cast, Montecore, Everett, keep on loving. Newcastle, out.
        Derek manages to work in several references here, so let's hit the highlights. First of all, the entire sequence is reference to the closing sequences of Joe Millionaire in which the butler Paul would sit and sip cognac. Bennifer was an failed relationship between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. Finally, "Newcastle, out" mocks the signature line that host Ryan Seacrest began using to end episodes of the third season of American Idol.

      • Derek: It's better than that. Now that they're gone, I can tell you two why you won't be with your parents. You won't be there because Tim, instead your cousin Tom will be with them and Amanda, your cousin Amy will be with them.
        The entire sequence in which Tim and Amanda meet their family and friends in disguise is a reference to a similar event that took place on the show Average Joe.