The Joe Schmo Show

Season 2 Episode 4

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Aired Tuesday 10:00 PM Jul 05, 2004 on Spike TV
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Episode Summary

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Following the cliffhanger of the previous episode, the Pearl Necklace eviction ceremony comes an end. Ingrid is given a Pearl Necklace and Ambrosia is tossed. Derek then "slips" and tells Omarosa to take her walk down the Last Chance for Love Trail of Tears and then gives a litany of every fake thing about the program that Ingrid has noted. She is invited to take a script and come on the show as an actress for $100,000 --- an offer which she accepts. In the Falcon Twist, Piper and Austin are asked to choose the door and then from the door comes Amanda, the new Jane Schmo. The Schmos play a game ported from the "original British version of Last Chance for Love" in which Gerald wins a Green Valley Spa trip and some private time with Piper. Piper's "Mother" and "Father" come on the show, which the Father as a real hard-line jerk. The male suitors are asked to do crazy things at dinner, and those that don't will have personal secrets revealed about them. Later, they are all hooked up to a lie-detector test, with Piper's parents giving him immunity from eviction because they feel that he would be the least likely to take advantage of their daughter. Bryce's wick is left unlit and he takes his walk down the Trail of Tears, but not before getting one last hug from Piper.moreless

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Gretchen Palmer

Gretchen Palmer

Ambrosia, The Bitch (Second Woman "Evicted," Season 2)

Jon Huertas

Jon Huertas

TJ, The Playah (Season 2)

Tim Herzog

Tim Herzog

Austin Newton Rice, Mr. Right (Season 2)

Ralph Garman

Ralph Garman

The Smarmy Host (Season 1), Derek Newcastle (Season 2)

Jonathan Torrens

Jonathan Torrens

Gerald, The Gotta-Be Gay Guy (Third Man "Evicted," Season 2)

Jessica Makinson

Jessica Makinson

Eleanor, The Weeper ("Left Of Her Own Accord," Season 2)

Timothy Brennan (II)

Timothy Brennan (II)

Frank Davidson, Piper's Father

Guest Star

Robin McDonald

Robin McDonald

Betty Davidson, Piper's Mother

Guest Star

Matt Kennedy Gould

Matt Kennedy Gould

Pizza Delivery Guy [Cut From Aired Version!]

Guest Star

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (18)

    • Bryce: Can I hug Piper?
      Derek: That's up to Piper.

    • Cammy: I'm not really dumb.
      Ingrid: But your boobs are really --
      Cammy: I do have huge boobs.

    • Ingrid: (accepting the script) Thank God. Will you all stop acting like lunatics? My God! This might be like the best moment of my life. I really thought I was going crazy.

    • Ralph: (making an offer to Ingrid) You can go home right now or I can give you this script. It describes the characterizations of everyone you've met in the house so far. This script also includes an additional new character: You. Tomorrow morning, we want you to join our cast and help us tell our story. And if you can make it all the way through to the end without blowing it, we'll give you one hundred thousand dollars.

    • Ingrid: (told that Tim is real) I assumed. I hoped.

    • Ralph: (to Ingrid) In essence, you've been an impossible person. To fool.

    • Derek: And of course, there's Cammy. Cammy. And lastly, my obviously dyed hair, my artificially colored sparkling blue eyes, these devilishly uncomfortable false teeth.
      Ingrid: Thank god those aren't aren't real.
      Derek: And my over-the-top British accent.

    • Ambrosia: You know, this whole show is a joke!
      Derek: How could you say something like that? This has been a remarkable journey.

    • Austin: Ambrosia, I did feel that we were connecting, but I talked to a few of the other girls, and they said that you were a [bleep]ing bitch.

    • Ralph: We've got Tim as our only mark because we've successfully brought Ingrid over to the dark side.

    • Amanda: (after Ingrid tells her about "Porked and Beans") Probably the most untrustworthy person in the house would be Ingrid. If Cammy had wanted me to know, Cammy would have told me.

    • Derek: Now, one-by-one, Austin and Piper will be eliminating each of the suitors, sending them all from love's mansion on the hill down to rejection's shanty.

    • Derek: Amanda, welcome to our little love shack.
      Amanda: (interview) Derek, at first, kind of scared me.

    • Derek: Gentlemen, this is Nurse Tabitha and she is here to cure what ails you.
      Tim: Oh my god, this is not happening!

    • Tim: (regarding Nurse Tabitha) Nightmare. Nurse Nightmare.

    • Derek: Love, it's why we're all here. But tonight, one of you is about to leave love's luxury high-rise and be cast off into rejection's government-assisted ghetto.

    • Tim: If I had a question to ask Bryce, it would be, "have you ever been arrested for being a stalker?"

    • Bryce: This is literally the production crew manipulating our chances at love.

  • NOTES (10)

    • Original broadcast began at 11:08 A.M. and ended at 12:10 P.M.

    • Billed in promos as the must-see episode that will change everything and in which "the script hits the fan."

    • First Falcon Twist for which Austin and Piper were present.

    • Just as Matt wanted Brian to be real so Matt wouldn't be alone in this during Joe Schmo 1, Ingrid hoped Tim was real in Joe Schmo 2. In this case, though, Ingrid got her wish.

    • When Ingrid "joined the dark side" the tag under her name became Schmo Turned Actress. When Amanda joined, her initial tag read Thank God She Thinks It's All Real, followed by Hopefully She Won't Figure It Out. It then settled into the normal Thinks It's All Real tag.

    • Originally scheduled to air on July 6.

    • There have now been an equal number of male and female Schmoes: two Joes (Matt then Tim) and two Janes (Ingrid then Amanda).

    • Promotional consideration provided by Green Valley Spa.

    • Ingrid Wiese was told the truth about the program and given a script. She then continued on the show, but a new Jane Schmo was added: Amanda. (Her last name was not revealed in this episode.)

    • Billed as a 90-minute episode in promos, with Matt Kennedy Gould from the first season returning. The extended version also included a "British breakfast" with Derek Newcastle (this went badly --- promptiong the appearance of Matt as "the pizza guy"), more scenes with Amanda and Ingrid and Gerald counseling T.J. on how to pick up ladies. The episode was cut to sixty minutes, due to ratings concerns that viewers were generally tuning out from the show after midnight.


    • In a deleted scene available only on the 2009 DVD release, Bryce states that he works as a bike messenger for a courier service. This was the stated profession of Puck, an obnoxious character on MTV's The Real World.

    • Derek: You may have noticed some odd behavior...
      The fax-machine tasks were a parody of Meet My Folks, in which contestants had to perform tasks designated via faxes or else be punished by having secrets revealed.

    • Ralph/Derek: Omarosa -- Ambrosia -- do you have any parting gifts? Excuse me, parting words?
      "Derek" addresses Ambrosia as Omarosa because she is crying and about to make a scene when Austin evicts her. This spoofs an event from the first season of The Apprentice, when Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth acted up because Donald Trump fired her -- an event which VH-1 ranked fifth among the 40 Greatest Moments in Reality TV. Of course, had they not been about to reveal to Ingrid that the show was fake, this moment wouldn't have happened.

    • Ralph/Derek: Meet David. He is licensed in 38 states and Guam to administer lie-detector tests.
      The lie detector gag is based on the scene in "Meet the Parents" when DeNiro subjects his prospective son-in-law Ben Stiller to a polygraph test. It is also a reference to the former NBC reality show Meet My Folks, where lie detector tests were done on potential dates of a couple's child.

    • Rhett: Ingrid is ready for her close-up.
      "I'm ready for my close-up" is a popular catchphrase that first came into the public consciousness in the 1950 flick Sunset Boulevard.

    • Derek: So in the words of the immortal Ernest "Chubby" Checker, come on, baby, let's do The Twist.
      Derek quotes from the popular tune, "The Twist," performed by "Chubby Checker."

      Come on baby let's do the twist / Take me by my little hand and go like this...