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The Joe Schmo Show Season 2 Episode 8

T.J. Needs T.P.

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Episode Summary

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AIRED: 8/2/04

Tim, staying a nearby hotel, is told by Derek that he has been asked back on the show due to another male suitor committing a rules violation. When he returns, it's revealed that Bryce could not control his anger against the falcon Montecore and it was found dead. He is taken away from the mansion, but not before a sad protest that he did not kill the falcon and was only interested in a game of water. The suitors play another sexually charged game called Bound by Love and then take dance lessons all chained together. T.J. experiences major diarrhea and when he goes for a change of underwear, Gerald finds that T.J. has hidden his aquasocks. Without these, he's been left with sponge-bathing for the past four days. The two participate in a dance-off and the girls agree that Gerald gave the better performance and that T.J. will go home in that night's Double Trouble eviction ceremony. At the ceremony, Austin evicts Cammy, saying that he's sorry. Piper decides to evict Gerald and Gerald protests with T.J., but Derek says that their "dance-off" was not an official function. Derek then reveals a special Falcon Twist (sans Montecore, although all are supposed to pretend the bird's still there): that Austin and Piper are considering rekindling their romance.moreless

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Gretchen Palmer	Ambrosia, The Bitch (Second Woman "Evicted," Season 2)
Jon Huertas	TJ, The Playah (Season 2)
Tim Herzog	Austin Newton Rice, Mr. Right (Season 2)
Ralph Garman	The Smarmy Host (Season 1), Derek Newcastle (Season 2)
Jonathan Torrens	Gerald, The Gotta-Be Gay Guy (Third Man "Evicted," Season 2)
Jessica Makinson	Eleanor, The Weeper ("Left Of Her Own Accord," Season 2)

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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TRIVIA (1)
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- When T.J. says "I was embarrassed that I had just fake shit," close-captioning reads "fake (bleep)" as if they had meant to censor it.
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QUOTES (14)
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- Derek: Prepare yourself for the most shocking Falcon Twist yet.
  Tim: I see it.
  Amanda: (whispering, sing-song) They're gettin' married. They're gettin' married.
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- T.J.: You went, you wouldn't leave it alone, so I changed my mind. So why don't you dance your ass out of here?
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- Derek: All right, gentlemen, it's your turn. As you know, one of you will be leaving love's brand-name goodness and heading off outside to join Cammy in rejection's generic wasteland.
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- Derek: Love, that's why we're all here. But tonight, two of you have to say goodbye to love's gentle harp and hello to rejection's out-of-tune banjo.
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- Tim: At this point, I literally was thinking: is everyone in on this and I, like, just don't know any of it?
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- Gerald: Remember the pottery game? 'Cause PS - if he's danced it, I've learned it. Okay. Flashdance, 20th anniversary on DVD, bee-yotch. See ya' out there.
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- T.J.: I'm not an actor. So I don't know what -- what am I supposed to do, you know what I'm saying?
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- Tim: He left the house to get a drink of water? Check and mate.
  Amanda: Check and mate.
  Bryce: (bleep) this (bleep) sucking show!
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- Bryce: I will be back anyway.
  Tim: How much you wanna bet?
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- Derek: You left the house and the grounds.
  Bryce: I'd like to talk to Piper.
  Derek: And therefore you're gone. Check and mate.
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- Bryce: Thanks to whoever took care of that bird because he was a problem.
  Derek: Is that all?
  Bryce: I mean, yeah, what else do you want me to say?
  Tim: Did you kill the (bleep) bird?
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- Amanda: We have a visitor. I don't know if he's our visitor, or if he's for somebody else.
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- Tim: Would I do anything differently? Certainly not. I was myself through and through.
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- Ingrid: I'm not bagging on Cammy or anything, but she's -- she's completely stupid.
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NOTES (2)
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- Yes, just like Everett, Montecore (Ace) is alive and well also.
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- Started at 11:08 P.M and ended at 12:08 A.M.
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ALLUSIONS (2)
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- Cammy: You all are amazing and you know what they say -- If it doesn't kill you, you ain't dead. And I am not dead.
  Cammy, the moron, messes up the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," a phrase that became the basis for an inspirational book.
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- Derek: Love is as precious as a diamond. And, as well know, diamonds are forever. But love, sometimes, is not. Tonight, love will point its gold finger at two of you and you'll be evicted. That's right. You'll be having a both a Pearl Necklace and Flame of Love eviction ceremony.
  Derek Newcastle, the pompous British host, runs the gambit working the titles of films from the popular series of movies about a fictional English spy, James Bond (007), into his speech here:
  
  Diamonds are Forever - The 7th James Bond film
  
  Goldfinger - The 3rd James Bond film
  
  The World is Not Enough - The 19th James Bond film
  
  Die Another Day - The 20th James Bond film
  
  Additionally, Tim references the James Bond spoof series Austin Powers in this episode when he says that he thought the dance instructor "looked like Goldmember."
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