Doug: Why the hell didn't you take the minivan?
Deacon: Kelly's got it. She doesn't like driving this car. It's too small.
Doug: Oh, great, so she gives it to her eight-foot-tall husband. I can't believe you aren't the one gettin' divorced.
Deacon: Stop talking about divorce, will you? You guys are going to be fine. You always work these things out. She screams, you cry—two pizzas later you're back to normal.
Carrie: She thought you were gay.
Arthur: That's preposterous. That's not what she wants at all.
Carrie: Dad, look, this is a picture of Gerald, her first husband. What do you see when you look at that?
Arthur: I see a normal, heterosexual man leaping into the air with a parasol—how did I not notice that before?
Danny: This is, uh, Sandy, my new girlfriend... and roommate.
Spence: "Roommate"! That's great.
Sandy: Yeah, I moved in last week. Oh, I had to pack up some of your stuff to make some room in the closet. Mostly magazines.
Spence: Mom, what are you doing?
Veronica: What does it look like I'm doing? Now you just stay there because you have to give me away.
Spence: I'm not giving you away. This is crazy!
Carrie: Yes, this is crazy.
Arthur: Stop taking your brother's side!
Arthur: Don't give me your back-talk. There are plenty of harpists out there who will play "Dueling Banjos"!
Doug: You've never taken a leap of faith for me in your whole life.
Carrie: I married you. What do you call that?
Doug: Uh, 'hitting the jackpot.'
Arthur: Ava, darling, that dress is delicious. You're a vision in chiffon. I can't wait to rip it off tonight and finally have my way with you.
(Deacon has wrestled a pantsless Doug to the floor)
Deacon: I think I touched something by accident.
Doug: "By accident," or something you've been planning for years?
This episode was the sole submission on the show's Emmy Awards 'For Your Consideration' DVD for the season.
The two parts of "China Syndrome" were originally aired combined, as a one-hour episode.
The episode title is borrowed from a movie of the same name.
Doug watches TV of people bidding on household items, and he screams about the "Showcase Showdown," referring to activities on The Price is Right.