Deacon: I'll never forget the first time I met Arthur. I was, uh, sitting in the, uh, Heffernan living room, watching TV. Uh, Arthur came in, and when he saw me he begged me not to hurt him, then ran off to call the police.
Arthur: Holly, have you seen Douglas?
Holly: He fell asleep when we were wrestling.
Arthur: Well, at least you weren't under him when it happened. That was six of the most terrifying hours of my life.
Veronica: (singing) "You can lick that lollipop, mister, but you can't lick me." (aside) This song is pornographic.
Deacon: You've never been out of America. Why do you even have a passport?
Doug: I heard they still have the McRib in Canada.
Carrie: So, what's our endgame here? What are we gonna do when we land? We gonna race through the streets of Beijing to the adoption agency?
Doug: I don't know.
Carrie: Because if we have to take rickshaws, you'll lose.
Doug: Not if it's downhill.
Doug: Are you sure?
Carrie: Yes, I'm sure. (hands pregnancy test) I mean, look.
Doug: Well, what means "pregnant", the monkey or the dragon?!
This episode was the sole submission on the show's Emmy Awards 'For Your Consideration' DVD for the season.
Music: "Milk & Honey" by million / billion