The King of Queens

Carrie: These researchers, they kept a male monkey alone for so long, that when they finally stuck a female in with him, he threw feces at her and he humped a eucalyptus tree. (Doug advances, leering) Carrie: That turns you on? Doug: A little bit, yeah.

Carrie: Jenny, did I tell you Spence sells tokens on the subway? Doug: (sotto voce) That's the way to impress her.

Spence: (following allergic reaction) I must look great. Jenny: Actually, you're kind of cute when you're not convulsing. Spence: That's almost half the time.