The King of Queens Season 1 Episode 19

Carrie: Did you know that we have a tub of cottage cheese that expired in January of '97?
Doug: Do I look like I know anything about cottage cheese?

Arthur: You're not throwing out these rubber bands, are you?
Carrie: They're all broken, dad.
Arthur: So? You tie the ends together and they're as good as new, Mrs. Rockefeller.

Carrie: Who was that?
Doug: It's Ray Barone. He wants to know if his mother can drop him off here.
Carrie: For what, a play date?

Arthur: Three people can't play golf together? It's not sex, for God's sake!

Doug: (imitating Richie) Hey, Ray, can you do me a favor? Can you hook me up with one of the models in the underwear ad? (now imitating Ray Barone) Eh, I don't know, we're not even in the same department. Ehh, I'm trying to swing!
Carrie: Yeah, that's good, honey. Now do William Shatner.