The Knights of Prosperity

Season 1 Episode 1


Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Jan 03, 2007 on ABC
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Episode Summary

Eugene Gurkin had always wanted to open his own bar, yet never had the money to do it. After one of his co-workers dies, Eugene comes up with the idea to rob a famous celebrity's apartment after seeing how the rich and famous live on E! News.moreless

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Donal Logue

Donal Logue

Eugene Gurkin

Josh Grisetti

Josh Grisetti

Louis Plunk

Kevin Michael Richardson

Kevin Michael Richardson

Rockefeller Butts

Lenny Venito

Lenny Venito

Francis "Squatch" Scuacieri

Maz Jobrani

Maz Jobrani

Gourishanker "Gary" Subramaniam

Mick Jagger

Mick Jagger


Lena Chen

Lena Chen

Bank Patron (Uncredited)

Guest Star

Tim Miller

Tim Miller

Loan Officer

Guest Star

Jagger Kaye

Jagger Kaye

Security Guard

Guest Star

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (13)

    • Eugene: Dear God, we humbly ask that one of these keys be 18A so that we may more easily rob Mick Jagger. Thanks for your time.

    • Gary: (to Louis) Listen, we're not doing a movie. We're robbing Mick Jagger. Much better for you, you get college credit and you get rich.

    • Eugene: Gentlemen, we have decided to rob Mick Jagger. Now, how are we gonna rob Mick Jagger?
      Gary: We shoot him in the ass with a tranquilizer dart. The kind they use on bears. He goes down like Leon Spinks, the rest is self-explanatory.
      Squatch: That is the stupidiest plan I've ever heard.

    • (About Louis' inclusion)
      Eugene: I don't know about this.
      Gary: Don't worry. We make him wear your headphones with music blasting loud. He never hear nothing. He do everything we want for free. It is like white slavery.

    • Eugene: Ground rules, The Knights of Prosperity exists only to finance our dreams. Anything above and beyond that, we donate to our favourite charities.
      Rockefeller: Like Celebrity Poker?
      Eugene: Precisely

    • (Deciding on the name of their group)
      Squatch: You got a better idea, Dr Bombay?
      Gary: Yes I do. The Jedi Council.
      Squatch: That's not bad.
      Eugene: Any other ideas, Rockefeller?
      Rockefeller: Batman?

    • (Setting up a meeting)
      Eugene: My place. Be there.
      Rockefeller: Will there be snacks?
      Eugene: Sure, what do you want?
      Rockefeller: Cookies.

    • Gary: Do you know what is my favorite part of a woman?
      Louis: Her Legs?
      Gary: No
      Louis : Breast?
      Gary: Noo
      Louis : Oh, her mind!
      Gary: (Abruptly) The vagina !! I Love it!!
      (Awkward Silence moment)

    • Eugene: Gourishanker, I've been talking my whole life, man.
      Squatch: Whoa whoa, Gori.. what did you just call him?
      Gourishanker: Gourishanker.
      Squatch: Yeah, I'm gonna call you Gary.

    • Eugene: Were you born with a silver spoon in your mouth? Me neither. I was born with a plastic spork in my ass, just like the rest of you.

    • Loan officer: Why will you be needing this loan?
      Eugene: (Sings) A bottle of white, a bottle of red, perhaps a bottle of mad-dog instead, your bank's investment will go far. Eugene Gurkin's Liquor Baaaar!

    • Esperanza: Where's the old black man today?
      Eugene: I'm afraid he's eating waffles with Jesus this morning.
      Esperanza: What does that mean?
      Squatch: (Abruptly) He's dead.

    • (Overlooking Johnsy's coffin)
      Eugene: The man died mopping on the night shift, what kind of life is that, huh Squatch?
      Squatch: Below average.

  • NOTES (4)


    • E! News

      E! News is the E! network's nightly entertainment news show. The program was formerly known as E! News Daily and later E! News Live. The program made its debut on September 1, 1991.

    • The Bridges of Madison County

      Rockefeller: The Bridges of Madison County?

      The Bridges of Madison County is a best-selling novel by Robert James Waller which tells the story of a lonely Italian war bride who engages in an adulterous affair with a National Geographic photographer who has come to Madison County, Iowa in order to create a photographic essay on the covered bridges in the area. The Bridges of Madison County is one of the best selling novels in history with more than 60 million copies sold. It was made into a 1995 movie adapted by Richard LaGravenese and directed by Clint Eastwood.

    • Ocean's Eleven

      Eugene: We are like Ocean's Eleven

      Ocean's Eleven is a 1960 heist film directed by Lewis Milestone and starring five Rat Packers: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford. A remake appeared in 2001, followed by a sequel, Ocean's Twelve, in 2004 staring George Clooney and Brad Pitt. The title of this film is also often presented as Ocean's 11.

    • Taxi

      Louis: Eh, we are making the sequel to the movie Taxi (...)

      Taxi is a 2004 American remake of the 1998 Luc Besson-penned French film of the same name, starring Queen Latifah, Jimmy Fallon and Gisele Bündchen, and directed by Tim Story. A young cop persuades a speedy taxi driver to help in a case involving a gang of beautiful female bank robbers.

    • Jedi Council

      Gary: The Jedi Council

      The Jedi High Council is an institution from the Star Wars series of films. The Jedi Council are the strongest members of the Jedi religion and elected to lead the Jedi.

    • Batman

      Rockefeller Butts: Batman?

      Batman (originally referred to as the Bat-Man, and still sometimes as the Batman) is a DC Comics fictional character and superhero who first appeared in Detective Comics #27 in May 1939. He has since become, along with Superman and Spider-Man, one of the world's most recognized superheroes. Batman was co-created by artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger, although only Kane receives official credit for the character.

      Kevin Michael Richardson, who plays Butts, voices The Joker in the movie The Batman.

    • Pocahontas

      Squatch: Why didn't you say it, Pocahontas?

      The reference is to the Native American Pocahontas (1595 – March 21, 1617) who later married and englishman and gained popularity in England. She was also known for her connection to John Smith (of Jamestown), an English sailor and soldier who helped establish Jamestown. Pocahontas, from an array of stories inlcuding the writings of John Smith himself, is said to have saved the life of the Englishman on several occasions.