The L Word

Season 3 Episode 1

Labia Majora

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Jan 08, 2006 on Showtime
out of 10
User Rating
142 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Bette and Tina deal with parenting Angelica while attempting to rekindle their relationship and handle an obnoxious social worker. Alice has a traffic accident, Helena gets into the movie business, Carmen and Shane's relationship gets a tad more serious as Carmen takes her to meet the parents, and Jenny, recovering at her parents', has had enough with the Midwest and ponders moving back to L.A. with her new girlfriend Moira.moreless

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  • It was less than I was expecting. Some characters are getting crazier and others are becomming so different that seem new ones.

    Bette and Tina are becomming the most boring couple on this show ever. On this first episode we realize that they're raising their cute little girl in order to become the youngest human being to go on therapy. Alice who was very focused in the first 2 seasons now is getting crazy, taking pills to solve a broken heart issue and stalking her former girlfriend. Jenny is crazier than ever and behaves like a bad teenage girl who wants to shock her parents. The only exception is for Shane and Carmen, who are simply enjoying each other, even if Carmen didn't come out to her family. And Helena is so different that I think she probably spent some months in Nepal, just meditating and improving herself. I love this show and sincerely hope it will get better.moreless
  • A turning point - for the worse

    I think this season marked a turning point in either the direction or motivation of this show. Something happened and all the momentum that the previous seasons had built up, is just blown away. It's as though a popularity poll was taken and the characters were all spat back into the show in random relationships and situations. The other problem that becomes even more apparent in this season than the previous two, is that almost all men in this show are portrayed as lesbian hating mens men. While this surely is the case in the world sometimes, I just cant believe its being pushed SO hard in a show that is supposed to be 'liberating'. If it wants to be taken seriously, realism and believability MUST be an ingredient in a show. As it stands, the rediculous world this show portrays doesnt even hint at real life. If the show is aimed at simply putting across a fantasy world with no real connotation to the real situation lesbians encounter in real life, thats great, but don't push the show as some sort of monumental mind opener.moreless
  • In this episode, we discover that Dana finally left Alice for Lara. Bette is trying to adopt angelica and Shane meets Carmen's family.

    I think this episode it's worth what I was expecting. Although i hated Helena Peabody, in this season she seems to be nicer than in the past. We had a really sad scene with Alice, with all Dana's photos. Jenny, too, seems to be less crazy that in the past two seasons. Bette and Tina's relationship doesn't seem to be as strong as we thought.
  • Not outstanding and at the beggining everything is rushing by, but they did a good job handling six month in 60 minutes.

    The first half of this episode I was confused, completely confused. Things just happen really fast, we jump from scene too scene and the recap of the last season is also just a bunch of flashes. So I needed some time to figure all out, but then it was getting better and better.

    Now Bette and Tina are handling her child and they need all their friends too, because it always needs to be with someone. They have an interesting visit from a social worker who asks them a few painful questions. They are also struggling with their sexual situation, a quite funny scene when they are in therapy.

    Dana is still with Lara, what drives Alice crazy and turns her in a drug addict. Alice owns a shrine for Dana and follows stalks her. Meanwhile Helena lays an eye on Alice. It’s confusing to see such a successful woman such as Helena depending on some clairvoyant reading cards, but since François Mitterrand (the former president of France) we know that such things are common.

    When Dana and Lara start to make out on the sofa and Lara finds the limb in Dana’s breast, Dana says that it has been there for ever, but Lara is her girlfriend since six month now and this isn’t the first time they make out, so I’m confused a bit. Either Lara should found it much earlier or Dana should be worried immediately. But that’s only some detail, but since we know the story what’s going to happen to Dana, it matches the storyline for the future.

    Kit is struggling with her body as well, but all it is, she getting older.

    Carmen takes Shane to her parents, a big Mexican family, but the whole thing confuses me a bit too. Carmen and Shane mention to her friends at the cafe, that’s this is the first time Shane will meet her parents and Shane is really nervous, but somehow Carmen’s mother (we don’t see her father) don’t know that they are together or how do I have to understand the question of Carmen’s mother to Shane, if she’s got a boyfriend. But the rest is a really funny family meeting.

    Jenny is still somewhere in the Midwest at her parents, witch try to hook her up with some guy. But Jenny is much stronger now, than we ever saw her in the last two seasons and handles her quite well. She also hooks up with a new girl and they leave for L.A. together in the middle of the night.

    After all it was a nice episode, not outstanding, but it lets hope for a good season again.

    Well I have to admit, that I mostly didn’t enjoy the second season so much as the first one, but the producer said in a interview that they will go back to the concept of the first season, so I really look forward to some good episodes!moreless
  • This episode basically shows how everyone has been up to for the last six months. Very little laughs except for Alice but otherwise nothing happened.

    This episode is a lot lighter than previous episodes and sort of sets the stage for matters to come. I know that it’s only the season premiere, but you've got to at least make the viewers want to watch the season or the next episode at the very least. Which I would think the writers and producers would want to do since last season slump in viewers. The episode did have the basics covered showing how the characters have been in the last six months, but that's it, nothing else. It could've had a little more but its just the first episode. They just need to step it up.moreless
Margot Kidder

Margot Kidder

Sandy Ziskin/Jenny's Mother

Guest Star

Paralee Cook

Paralee Cook


Guest Star

Tamara Prescott

Tamara Prescott


Guest Star

Lauren Lee Smith

Lauren Lee Smith

Lara Perkins

Recurring Role

Olivia Windbiel

Olivia Windbiel


Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (4)

    • Goof: At Dr. Farber's office, when the camera shoots at her, she is not wearing glasses. When we see a view of Bette shot behind Dr. Farber, you can see in her profile the rim of her sunglasses. When the view cuts to Dr. Farber again, she's not wearing the sunglasses anymore.

    • Deleted Scene:
      For the first time, deleted scenes that didn't make the final cut were available online at the official The L Word website on after each episode aired.

      Kit, Shane and Carmen at The Planet
      This episode's deleted scene showed Kit at The Planet carrying Angelica, handing the baby to Shane, and Shane telling Carmen that she has cold feet about having dinner with Carmen's family when they don't know that the girls are lesbians.

    • Opening Teaser:
      Palo Alto, California -- 1973: A group of women are sitting in a living room, looking at their vaginas in mirror, discussing female genitalia and their sex lives. A timid-looking housewife called Marilyn tells the group that her husband is always so clumsy "down there". Embarrassed, she excuses herself to the kitchen. She is followed by another woman, Teri, who tells her that she has the right to be sexually fulfilled. As Teri starts fondling Marilyn...
      The connection: ...they make up the first connection in The Chart.

    • This episode takes place 6 months after the Season 2 finale (episode 2-13: Lacuna).

  • QUOTES (16)

    • Kit: I just found out... I've got menopause.
      Carmen: Oh, Kit. Aww.
      Tina: No, it's okay. No more periods.
      Alice: Yeah, you don't have to take Carrie to the prom anymore.

    • Moira: (seeing cuts on Jenny) Who did that to you?
      Jenny: I did it to myself.

    • Tina: We're all a little stressed out right now.
      Carmen: Totally.
      Bette: Yeah, Tina and I, we have our first home visit with the adoption social worker today.
      Shane: Ah. I'm going to meet Carmen's mother.
      Carmen: Mm-hmm.
      Shane: And have dinner with her entire family.
      Carmen: And...
      Shane: I'm gonna act straight. (Bette laughs)
      Carmen: Who wins?!
      Tina: You win.
      Bette: Yeah, you win.

    • Carmen: The whole coming out to your parents in a Mexican family, that stuff, there's something about it. It doesn't really play.
      Shane: No. So you just stay in the closet?
      Carmen: No, sweetheart. You don't just stay in the closet. There are certain things that are understood, and it is understood that we do not talk about those things. Like, I have this Uncle Poppy. He borrowed his sister's prom dress one year, and what he did with that prom dress, we don't know. And guess what? We don't ask.

    • Tina: Actually, I like 'pussy'.
      Carmen: Oh, hear, hear. I love pussy.

    • Alice: You know, my life is shit, Helena. Okay? You saw me in there. I'm good for five minutes on these meds and then it... and then...
      Helena: And then it wears off.
      Alice: Yeah.
      Helena: That's the trouble with medication. Maybe you should just...
      Alice: I should take more. I should take a higher dose. Yes, of course.

    • Tina: You can't possibly find this big, ugly scar and my sagging stomach and my leaky nipples beautiful.
      Bette: You cannot tell me what I can and cannot find beautiful.

    • Dr. Farber: Alright, listen... The guiding principle here is that we are trying to rekindle the sexual spark in this long-term relationship. And Mama T and Mama B do not make mad, passionate love to one another; they make cookies.

    • Angus: (to Angelica) Whaddaya think, Angelica? Want me to rock your half-birthday party? Maybe some Ozzy, Black Sabbath...?
      Bette: I was actually thinking more "Cock-a-Doodle-Doo".

    • Social Worker: What about men?
      Bette: (surprised) Men??
      Tina: You do know we're lesbians, right?

    • Warren: How dare you bring a man back into this house!?
      Jenny: I would never do that, Warren. I want you to meet Moira.

    • Social Worker: I'll be back in 10 days.
      Tina: (surprised) You're coming back?
      Social Worker: We do two home visits per case so you'll get a second chance. (smirking) But first impressions are hard to overcome.

    • Social Worker: So you're unemployed?
      Bette: Well, just for the last six months. I mean, I've been offered several positions but just none that I... that I passionately wanna do.
      Social Worker: OK, let me just review... (smugly) No baby-proofing, passionately unemployed, harbors sexually explicit anti-patriotic propaganda masquerading as art...

    • Jenny: Dr. Perez doesn't have a problem with my sexual orientation, mom.
      Sandy: Well, then I have to tell you that I think Dr. Perez is as sick as you are.

    • Social Worker: (about Angelica) What do you mean you don't put her down?
      Tina: We're practicing attachment parenting.
      Social Worker: Well, I say anything that can be attached, can be detached.

    • Alice: (Dana) told me she needed "closure", closure with Lara. Well, it's six months later and I'm still waiting for it to close.

  • NOTES (4)