Opening Teaser: Los Angeles, California – Yesterday. Kit and Benjamin are sitting by a pool. They flirt and hint about having an affair. They leave the hotel. On their way out, they stop and Benjamin starts to kiss Kit. Kit pushes away after a long kiss. She thinks that she'd better go... but then they end up in Benjamin's hotel room. They fall onto the bed and start making out.
Pat Benatar is singing "Hit Me with Your Best Shot" as Alice helps Tina unpack and decorate her new apartment. Alice cranks up the music and hops up on the couch. She jumps off and crashes to the floor. Helena walks through the front door. Alice sees her first, and stops cold. Tina, who was having a great time, gets embarrassed when she sees Helena. She quickly turns off the music. Helena explains that she rang the bell but, obviously, Tina couldn't hear it. She tells Tina that she just wanted to drop off some paperwork: "Now the Headquarters for Social Justice has money in the bank!" Tina offers her a cup of tea, but Helena declines and leaves mentioning that she'll see Tina on Thursday. When Helena is gone, Alice wants to know what's going on on Thursday. Tina tells her about a Peabody Foundation dinner for all the granted recipients. Tina tells Alice that she can't believe that Helena saw her like this – she thinks that she put her off. Alice asks her if she's sleeping with Helena but Tina denies it. Alice throws a pillow at Tina and asks her if she's going to. Tina doesn't think that she's ready yet. She thinks that Helena is not even interested in her, to which Alice can only say, "Ha."
Jenny is trying to figure out whether Carmen is interested in her, so she's asking Shane about it while Mark eavesdrops. He can't believe that Shane went out with Carmen and now Jenny is planning on going out with "the same girl". He asks them if it's common to "share chicks and shit". Shane reminds Mark that she doesn't date Carmen anymore. Mark wants to know how Shane gets girls to go home with her; she asks Mark how he gets girls to go home with him. Shane says that the most important thing (where women are concerned) is to listen, and not to talk too much. Mark suggests that Shane show Jenny exactly how it's done, by having a three-way. Shane just answers: "I hate to tell you this, Mark, but... I don't fuck my roommates."
At The Planet, Dana is waiting for Alice. When she arrives, Dana reminds her that "Tonya's meeting is only a couple of hours", and asks – with a big smile – if they can go back to Alice's place. But Alice doesn't want to have to sneak around with Dana; she doesn't want to be her secret lover. Alice explains that she wants Dana to leave Tonya, but Dana says she can't do that right now because of the tennis tournament the next day: "Tonya set up the whole thing." Alice says "gross" and starts to leave. Dana calls her back and begs her to sit down again. She takes Alice's hand and says she really, really wants to be with Alice. Alice sighs and asks Dana to break up with Tonya after the tournament. Dana nods and begins to play footsie with Alice.
Bette walks towards Tina's apartment. Tina is outside unpacking, and they greet each other. As Tina walks inside, Bette asks her if she's going to invite her in. But Tina is not in the mood for company at the moment; Bette should have called first. Bette tries to make small talk by asking whether the apartment is nice, but Tina just blurts out, "Is there something in particular?" Bette thinks that they should talk – she can't pretend that it's all fine, she's very confused "by the whole thing". She doesn't understand how Tina could keep her pregnancy a secret from her for so long, even while they were still a couple. Tina replies: "I planned to tell you. And then you fucked off." Bette tells her that she "fucked up, I did not fuck off". She didn't leave. She tells Tina that she wants to have a place in the baby's life and just work it out. But Tina says she's not sure she wants to do that, at least not in the way that Bette wants it. Bette points out that they searched for the sperm donor together, and that Marcus Allenwood was her friend, and that if they were husband and wife, it would be her baby. Tina needs some time to think about it. She walks into her apartment and closes the door.
Carmen is at Shane and Jenny's place. She's taking the last beer out of the fridge and asks Shane if she wants it. But Shane, rolling a joint, says Carmen can take it. She pretends to drink the beer, but is really just teasing Shane, who gets up and sloshes the beer all over Carmen, spilling it on her and licking some of the spilled stuff off Carmen's neck. Carmen retaliates by spilling a lot more beer on Shane. They continue to goof around until Jenny walks in. She tells Shane that Mark is in the living room filming with his video camera. He's asking the lesbians whether they'd make out with a guy for a million dollars. One of them says, "who wouldn't?" and asks Mark whether he would. He says he would – for less than that. Carmen interrupts and says she would make out with a Republican for a million dollars. Everyone gives her a disgusted look; Jenny thinks that "Republicans are fucking scary." Shane doesn't think that they are scary, she just thinks they are stupid. Mark wants to know if Carmen would make out with a friend – better yet, two friends at the same time. Carmen says she wouldn't. Shane has plopped on the couch and is making out with one of the random lesbians. This obviously hurts Carmen, and she asks Jenny to go with her to get more beer. Shane kicks Jenny's ass on the way out, and Jenny whines "No, don't." Mark trains the camera on Shane again. She flips him off.
Bette is at the "Women of Allah" art exhibit by Shirin Neshat. She walks around looking at the pictures. Helena shows up and greets her. Helena starts talking about Leo Herrera who's coming to L.A. for six months to raise money for the C.A.C. Bette gives Helena a fake smile and leaves. She drives to Franklin's house and confronts him about hiring someone behind her back. She says that hiring Leo puts Franklin in breach of contract, but Franklin retorts that Bette's contract doesn't prohibit the C.A.C. from hiring consultants. Back on the road, Bette calls Tina. She is friendly and willing to listen... until Bette starts to complain about Helena. Bette asks her if she's sleeping with Helena. She warns her that Helena is a monster, who "likes to fuck with people for sport", and that Tina shouldn't get involved with her. Tina tells Bette that she can't control her, and she doesn't want to talk to Bette about Helena. Bette says, "Oh, please", but Tina hangs up the phone.
Tonya and Dana are getting ready to go to the tournament. Tonya's all hyper as usual, and Dana's nervous about breaking up with Tonya. While Tonya calls "Anna Kournikova and Martina's people", Dana's phone rings. It's Alice, and Dana's not very good at covering. She tells Alice in a stern voice: "No, Alice, I haven't told her yet. Stop pressuring me." Tonya wants to know who Dana's on the phone with. Dana lies that it's her mom.
At Shane and Jenny's place, there's a knock at the door. Shane opens the door; it's a delivery woman with flowers. She gives Shane the flowers... and a hint or two. Shane walks towards the kitchen to put the flowers in water. The woman follows her. She hands a pitcher to Shane so she can put the flowers in it. They start kissing and making out.
Charlotte Birch is working out at a gym, and giving Jenny some advice. She tells Jenny that she has to find her own voice. Jenny says she doesn't think she's imitating Charlotte's voice. Charlotte says that she prefers to keep the boundaries between them crisp and clear. Hunter, another of her students shows up. He's there to spot Charlotte on the bench press, and clearly Charlotte doesn't have any boundary issues with him. Before Jenny leaves, she gives her an assignment.
Mark and Gomey are watching Shane and the flower delivery girl having sex. It turns out that he paid the delivery girl to seduce Shane. Mark zooms in on Shane's face because he wants to "know what she's feeling".
Charlotte tells Jenny what her assignment is: "Try not speaking for the rest of the day. Not a word. Try communicating all your needs without using audible language." At the end of the day, she should write an essay about her experience.
Alice and Shane are in La Jolla to convince Dana to break up with Tonya. At least that's why Alice is there and she's dragging Shane into it. As Tonya wanders off down the hall, Alice sneaks into Dana's hotel room for a little "talk". She knocks on the door. Dana opens it, grabs her, pulls her into the room and kisses her hungrily. Alice's cell phone rings, which means that Shane is trying to warn her that Tonya is coming back. Dana asks her what her escape plan was. But Alice "didn't really think about that one". She handles it well enough by yelling "Surprise!" and pretending that she's there just to support "her friend". As Dana and Alice stand with their arms around each other, Tonya turns around – giving Dana the opportunity to try and grab Alice's breast. After Alice makes her exit, Dana indicates that Alice is a little nuts, and then puts a stoic look on her face and stomps off.
Carmen is walking Jenny home after a date. She tells Jenny that she had a great time with her, but the silence assignment was weird, so she'd like to do it again when Jenny is a little bit more "verbal". Carmen's carrying a flower. Jenny hangs her head, but Carmen tucks a hand under Jenny's chin and offers her a very sexy, sweet kiss. Jenny's breathless. Carmen seems oddly charmed, in spite of herself.
Jenny is writing again. She turns the silence assignment into a three-ring circus, in which she is a silent ballerina with a harlequin face. Charlotte Birch is the ringmaster, Carmen is the multi-armed "beautiful temptress" and Shane is the "temptress tamer". As the tamer kisses the temptress, Jenny the silent ballerina faints and falls off her highwire perch.
Mark gives Kelly the delivery girl a copy of the Shane sex tape. She doesn't want him to use the tape; she doesn't want to hurt Shane because she was "really nice" to her. Mark tells her that he's intrigued by Shane.
Alice, Shane and Tonya watch Dana play. Tonya notices that "Melissa Rivers is out of water and her celebrity handler is just sitting there." While she gets up to tend to Melissa, Alice asks Shane to review the break-up script she's written for Dana. Shane tells her, "It's karmically wrong. It's gonna come back at you if you and Dana wind up together." Alice answers: "Yoda needs to give me some better advice here or Yoda needs to shut the fuck up."
Bette has agreed to go to the T.O.E. seminar with Kit – not for herself, but to support Kit. Kit tells her that "it's transformative" and that Bette could use that "right about now". As they walk in, Kit stops in front of the picture of Benjamin and says "Wait until you hear him speak. There's somethin' 'bout the way he moves his body on stage." Bette cringes. Benjamin starts talking about vulnerability, which strikes a chord in Bette, and she takes some notes. Kit feels proud about this, not knowing that Bette is thinking about Tina.
In a hallway, Alice offers Dana her script, but Dana declares it "horrible" and "hideous" because it says "I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to marry you." So Alice tells Dana to "improv" instead.
Bette confesses that the comments about vulnerability hit home. Benjamin gets all personal about the Tina and baby stuff, and tells Bette to pick some flowers herself and give them to Tina, and to say, "You hold all the cards." On the way out, Bette calls Benjamin a "fuckin' circus performer", even if he does sometimes say something useful.
In the locker room, Dana finds a very nice way to break up with Tonya. She says that she confused gratitude with love. Melissa Rivers walks in and, seeing Dana's teary face, thinks that Tonya already told her. Dana doesn't understand. Tonya tells her that she and Melissa Rivers have fallen in love, and Tonya was going to break up with Dana. Dana asks Melissa if she's even gay. Melissa answers: "Well, I like to think of myself as label-free. I mean, love is love, and I've fallen in love with Tonya the person, not the gender." Tonya and Melissa leave Dana to have some "time to absorb".
Tina's at Helena's Peabody Foundation dinner, which is on the rooftop of the Chateau Marmont. Helena eventually leaves the table, and Tina's cell phone rings shortly after. It's Helena saying: "Don't these boring, pretentious dinners make you really horny?" She then tells her that she wants to see another side of Tina and that she'll be waiting for her by the pool. Tina thinks that she needs an excuse. Helena tells her to "never apologize, never explain".
By her pool, Bette is pondering the T.O.E. vulnerability stuff, and decides she might as well try the flower thing. She's taking it very seriously, and selecting flowers with care.
Tina walks up to the pool where Helena is waiting. Helena teases her about being timid, which Tina denies. Tina then gets foolishly honest. She says that she's "never done this before". Helena likes the idea of being Tina's first. Tina finds it hard to believe that Helena wants to sleep with her because of her huge belly. But Helena says that's part of what she finds so attractive. She takes Tina's shirt off, kisses her, takes her bra off and trails her fingers through the cleft of Tina's breasts and down to her navel.
Bette takes the handpicked flowers to Tina's door but Tina's not there. Bette calls Tina's cell – it's ringing but she doesn't answer it. She's in the pool with Helena. They are both naked and kissing each other. Meanwhile, the flowers lay on Tina's doorstep.
Shane is in the back seat, smirking and then laughing, as Alice and Dana make their way home from La Jolla with stunned looks on their faces.