The L Word

Season 2 Episode 2

Lap Dance

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Feb 27, 2005 on Showtime

Episode Recap

Opening teaser: Mendocino, California – 2003. Robin emerges from a church, wearing a white tuxedo as the wedding guests throw rice on her. But where is her partner Claybourne? She is inside the church, making out with another girl. Robin looks stunned and sad. Tina is at a lawyer's office talking with Joyce Wischnia. She tells her that the house is in Bette's name; Tina never paid for any of the mortgage although she offered to. She also tells Joyce that she did pay for groceries and utilities but Bette made all the agreements. Joyce insinuates that Tina always obeyed Bette in everything and acted as her "little wife". Tina gets defensive and says that is not the case; she is not after Bette's money. She doesn't even want to be in a need for a lawyer. As Alice and Shane are walking down the street to The Planet, Alice tells her she is the one who hooked Tina up with Joyce Wischnia. Shane doesn't like the idea. She thinks Tina should have a lap dance, not a lawyer. As they arrive at the cafe, they see a note on the door: The Planet is closed. They look around really surprised. At Joyce Wischnia's office, Tina and she are still discussing their case. Joyce says Tina needs a lawyer because her and Bette's relationship is not recognized by the law. Tina gave up her career for Bette, but in the end, Bette controls everything because all their assets are in her name. Joyce picks up her pipe but Tina asks her not to smoke. Joyce looks at Tina, knowingly. Joyce asks if she got pregnant, too, because Bette asked. Tina says that Bette doesn't know; no one knows because she only just started showing. Joyce takes Tina's wishes to not tell Bette about the baby until it's sure as yet another sign that Bette had Tina wrapped around her finger. She says that Tina needs to have her autonomy in the relationship, whether they divorce or get back together. Alice and Shane go to another coffee shop instead. But Shane has trouble ordering because the menu looks too complicated. Tonya and Dana walk in and help them out. They explain that the coffee there is not as strong as at The Planet. Tonya orders order something ridiculously long and complicated for both herself and Dana. Alice insists that Dana didn't actually say what she would like to have. Tonya shrugs it off by saying that "She always wants what I want more than what she wants". Shane rolls her eyes. Kit comes by Ivan's garage and talks to another mechanic. She says that Ivan is not returning her phone calls. Dax, the mechanic, is not surprised. Kit seeing Ivan as a woman was really upsetting – for the both them. Ivan is at a cabin somewhere but Dax doesn't say what the address is. Kit insists; she has something really urgent to tell Ivan. At Bette's office, James is helping her to look for a house to rent for Tina. Bette is irritated and snaps at James when he shows her what he's found so far. As he is about to show her a picture of a place with a six-month lease, Bette's lawyer walks in. He says he has been contacted by Tina's lawyer, but he has never heard of her before. Bette recognizes her name immediately; she says Tina and she were going to use her to handle their child's adoption arrangements. Suddenly she freezes – she realizes Joyce Wischnia also does separations and divorces. Jenny is at her writing class, held by Charlotte Birch. She writes the name of the assignment on the blackboard: "Hunter and the Hunted". She gives the class 20 minutes to write. She asks around in the classroom, and then asks for "Sarah Shuster". It turns out to be Jenny. Charlotte scorns her for using bad puns in her submission essay. That is not the way to get in on her class. She sets the timer and the class starts to write. In a dream sequence, we see Jenny's story as she writes it. A young girl runs around in panic, with two boys chasing her. As she stops in front of a mirror, Jenny says, "This never happened". The time is out, and Charlotte asks the class to stop writing. Jenny is still feverishly writing the last words. Charlotte stops at her desks, stares down on her and waits until she puts down her pen. As she turns her back, Jenny picks up the pen again. Carmen is at a church where a band is shooting a music video. She spots Shane who's waiting for her, leaning on a pillar. Carmen's mom had told her where to find her. She wanted to come by and apologize to her about that night at the nightclub. Kit drives up at Ivan's cabin. S/he emerges from under a car. Ivan's not happy to see her but Kit needs his/her help and it can't wait. Carmen says that Shane doesn't have to apologize; she understands if Shane doesn't want to have a relationship. But Shane still wants to have sex with her. As they make out passionately, Carmen's suddenly hailed over the walkie-talkie. Shane asks her what she is doing later but Carmen has already made plans to see her grandmother. The following day is not good for Shane, so Carmen leaves without them re-scheduling their make-out session. At Ivan's cabin, s/he offers Kit a beer. Kit is stunned because Ivan is also a recovering alcoholic. But the beer is non-alcoholic; Ivan is not going to blow away his/her sobriety over what happened between him/her and Kit. Kit has her business plan with her. She needs $50,000 by the next day when she meets with Marina's father. Ivan asks her to leave the business plan; s/he'll look it over later. Stuttering, Kit asks: "Is there a chance?", referring to their relationship. Ivan says not to count on it. At Charlotte Birch's writing class, she browses through the stories the class has written, unimpressed. She picks out Jenny's story and says that it lacks imagination. Jenny hasn't transformed a true event into fiction. Jenny is shattered and looks puzzled. Charlotte Birch tell the class that she'll get back to them in ten days to see if they've gotten into her class or not. As the others pack up their stuff and leave, Jenny stays at her desk. Dana frets over meeting her parents. She's afraid her father won't accept her marrying Tonya. Tonya tries to calm her down and urges her to get dressed. Meanwhile at Alice's place, she tries to find her way in the clutter when someone knocks on the door. As she goes to open door, she nearly trips on something and curses Tina's stuff for lying everywhere. Bette is at the door, and she barges in, looking for Tina. Alice says Tina is not home. Bette tells her that Tina hired a lawyer, and Alice reveals it was her idea – she thought Tina needed some help. Bette gets really angry; she thought Alice was her friend too. Alice says she still is, but remembering her own brief relationship with Bette, she knows that Bette can be pretty cruel sometimes. Bette storms off, telling Alice never to interfere with her life again. Dana, Tonya, and Dana's parents are having drinks at the girls' apartment. As they chit chat, Tonya asks Sharon and Irwin to give their blessing to their wedding. Dana's parents don't see the importance but it would mean a lot to Dana. But her mother still doesn't understand it. She says that both of them are pretty girls who'd have no trouble finding men. After Tonya tells a heartbreaking story of how her ex-fiancé asked her not to marry him when he saw how unhappy she was, Sharon breaks down in tears and finally accepts Dana's relationship with another woman. They all hug. Alice, Tina and Shane are at the Nirvana Bean coffee shop. Alice orders the coffee Tonya had the day before, but Shane warns that it was "lethal". Alice is sorry that it didn't just kill Tonya. She doesn't trust her and hopes that Dana gets a pre-nup. The conversation turns to Tina's lawyer, and Shane says she doesn't like that they had to get a lawyer involved. She hopes Tina and Bette could just work it out by themselves. Tina insists that she needs her "autonomy". Jenny is sitting on the front porch of Tim's house with Robin. She tells her that her writing didn't go well the day before, and she also got the feeling Charlotte Birch didn't like her. They are on their way to meet Robin's friends. Jenny tries to memorize their names and what the do for a living. She asks, "Is it all gonna be couples?" Robin says that most of her friends are married. They took care of her when she and Claybourne broke up, and they were really happy when they heard she was seeing Jenny. Jenny ruffles Robin's hair as she gets in the car. Alice and Dana are having a coffee together. Dana says that Tonya is meeting her parents. She doesn't know that she's meeting with Alice but Dana is not hiding it either. Alice says they could have met at Dana's place if Tonya is out. Dana reminds her of the "rules"; they shouldn't be together alone. They both inch closer to each other, wanting to be near but afraid to touch. Jenny and Robin are meeting Robin's friends. One couple has an adopted baby and the other one is expecting. They all hint – not at all discreetly – that Jenny and Robin should get married and get Robin pregnant. Jenny is a little stunned; it's too soon to think about that stuff. The other couples then talk about how Claybourne cheated on Robin at their wedding. Jenny is uncomfortable. After returning home from seeing Robin's friends, Jenny wants to talk with her. She says she is not ready to settle down and get married, and that is obviously what Robin wants. Jenny needs to learn to live on her own and be self-sufficient. Robin says she can't take another break-up. Heartbroken, she accuses Jenny of just wanting to sleep with people and making them fall in love. But Jenny doesn't want to be in a relationship, and so Robin leaves. Alice, Shane, Tina, Tonya and Dana are at a Chinese restaurant. They talk about Tina getting her first lap dance that night. It turns out Dana has never had one either, and Tonya offers to pay for one. Shane sees Alice and Dana making eye contact and nearly chokes on her noodles. She guesses something is going on between the two of them. Bette walks in to pick up her order, and spots the gang at the table, laughing and having a good time. Everyone goes silent and turns to look at Bette. She looks hurt and quickly just picks up the bag of take-out and heads out. As she's getting in her car, Shane runs after her. She tells Bette she is sorry for everything, meaning the whole mess between Bette and Tina, and their friends having to take sides. Dana, Tonya, Shane, Alice and Tina arrive at a strip club where numerous girls can be seen dancing provocatively on platforms. Tonya seems excited and drags Dana to a table nearby a girl dancing on stage. She hands Dana a dollar and urges her to slip the dollar in the dancer's g-string. Dana does so timidly, giving only sideway glances to the dancer. Tonya begins to kiss Dana; Alice and Tina look around uncomfortably. Kit frets about the loan for her business proposition, as she still doesn't have all the money she needs. Bette is hopeful; she thinks that maybe Marina's father would be willing to give them a few extra days to raise the amount. She offers to go to the bank with Kit and put down some artwork as collateral for the loan. Kit is grateful but she doesn't think Mr. Ferrer would accept because he wants to close the deal as soon as possible. Back at the strip club, a waitress comes on to Shane but she isn't interested. In the bathroom, Alice stares at herself in the mirror, having a moment to herself while the music blasts at the club. Dana comes in, not realizing that Alice is already there. Alice wants Dana to leave; it's against the "rules" for them to be in the bathroom together. But Dana really needs to use the bathroom so Alice lets her in. As Dana squeezes by her, Alice turns around, facing Dana. Just as they're about to kiss, Tonya barges in announcing that Tina has found a dancer she likes. Alice leaves and Tonya drags Dana to the stall with her. At The Planet, Bette and Kit are waiting for Mr. Ferrer to arrive. They hear a motorcycle engine blasting outside and are a little surprised. Kit hopes that maybe Marina's father isn't so intimidating after all. But it's Ivan who walks in, offering Kit a $50,000 check. Kit is ecstatic, and rushes to Ivan. But s/he says that it's purely a business relationship; s/he will be a silent partner who doesn't have anything to do with the day-to-day decisions at the club. Kit won't even be seeing him/her. Kit is sad and disappointed, but accepts the check anyhow. Ivan wishes her good luck and exits, winking to her. Still at the strip club, Shane confronts Alice about her and Dana. At first, Alice pretends that she doesn't know what Shane is talking about, but then confesses that they kissed. She freaks out; how did Shane figure it out? Does anyone else know? Shane doesn't think so. They watch as Tina is getting a lap dance from a beautiful, long-haired brunette in a black bikini. But Tina isn't really into it. As Alice and Shane watch the dancer more carefully, they realize that she looks a bit like Bette. Mr. Manfredi Ferrer finally arrives at The Planet. Bette and Kit attempt to make small talk with him but he is very strict and demands to see the paperwork. When Mr. Ferrer realizes who Bette is, he begins to lecture her about treating Marina so harshly and being so judgmental of her lifestyle. When Bette timidly asks how his daughter is feeling, Mr. Ferrer looks puzzled. Bette then explains that she meant Marina. Mr. Ferrer fumes; Marina is not his daughter. She is his wife – they have been married for 12 years. The paperwork is in order and he leaves. Bette and Kit remain at The Planet, stunned. Tina is in bed alone, masturbating. She imagines hearing Bette's laughter and realizes how much she misses her. She breaks down crying. Kit walks around at The Planet, late at night. She sighs happily: the place is now hers. Bette is having a beer on her front porch. Shane comes by; she had called Bette and offered to keep her company. Bette sighs and wonders how she let everything get so messed up. Shane says that she likes to keep things simple, but doesn't think the same applies to Bette. A car pulls into the driveway next door; it's Jenny. Bette invites her over for a beer, and says they were just talking about sex without emotional attachment. Jenny can definitely relate to that. She has a bunch of newspapers, and says that she just placed an ad looking for a roommate. Shane is intrigued and hints to Jenny she might be interested in the place. Bette chuckles and smiles at them.