Opening Teaser: It's three days ago. Bette arrives at work. She looks sad and exhausted. She slowly gets out of her car, when she sees a car driving into the parking garage. It's Candace. She's about to get out of her car when Bette gets in the passenger side. Bette says, "Take me somewhere." Candace turns the key in the ignition and backs out of her parking space.
Jenny's lying in her bed naked. Next to her is Robin – also naked. She wants to know when she can see Jenny again. Jenny suggests going to her neighbor Bette together on Thursday. But Robin has a date that night, and Jenny has a date tonight. Robin confesses that she's a little jealous. Jenny says, "That's good," to which Robin replies, "Yeah, it is." They kiss and start making out. Tim walks towards the door of the studio to deliver the paper. He looks through the window and sees Robin and Jenny going at it. Unable to move, he just stands there. Then he stumbles away looking stunned.
Bette and Candace are walking up to a bed-and-breakfast hotel. They check in; Bette wants to pay, but Candace reminds her that she doesn't want this on her credit card statement. As they climb the stairs, Bette takes Candace's hand. Bette stops on the landing and pulls Candace back for a hungry kiss. A man and a woman are leaving their room and are appalled by the sight of two women kissing. Candace slams Bette against the door of the room. Bette unbuttons her own shirt and puts Candace's hand right where she wants it. Candace finally manages to open the door and they go inside. Now Candace is against the door. Bette starts to slide down, but Candace pulls her back up and proceeds to throw her down on the bed. Bette grins; she keeps on trying to take the lead. Candace pins her arms above her head and says, "You can't always have control." Bette laughs. They continue making out.
Tina is under a sink at the Headquarters for Social Justice, trying to fix it. Oscar is sitting next to her. She and Oscar talk about getting a plumber, as well as a carpenter. Tina tells Oscar about the carpenter who's working for Bette. Tina calls the C.A.C. to talk to Bette about the whole thing, but Bette's not there. Tina has to ask James for Candace's number.
Shane is admiring the new sign painted on the window; it reads "Shane". Steve Jaffe arrives and starts lecturing her about sleeping with his daughter. Shane tries to tell him she didn't sleep with Clea, but he's not listening. He also says that "Cherie's on the warpath", which of course freaks Shane out. She runs to her truck while Steve is still rambling and hollering. At Cherie's place, Shane yells at the intercom, trying to get Cherie to open the gate. Instead, Clea runs out and gets in Shane's truck, professing her. Shane tries to keep her cool as she drives up to the house. She finds her way to a room where Cherie is screaming at someone. Cherie freezes when she sees Shane, but then starts shrieking again and hitting Shane. Shane stands her ground and tries to explain that she didn't sleep with Clea, and asks, "Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?" This gets to Cherie. She pulls Shane into a hug, but then sees Clea watching them and freaks out again. She runs after her daughter.
Tim comes into Jenny's studio and tells her that technically they are still married – they need to get a divorce. Jenny agrees.
Dana is sitting in front of her bed crying. Tonya opens the door and tells her that Alice is there. Mr. Piddles, Dana's cat, is dead. Tonya says that she's been looking for somebody to remove "it" and says Dana's been crying for three hours. Alice says all the right things, offering comfort, assistance, and whatever Dana needs. She suggests a mahogany casket: "Only the best for Mr. P."
Bette is discussing something with her co-workers at the C.A.C. Kit and Ivan stop by. They've brought food for Bette.
Tina thanks Candace for dropping by the Headquarters for Social Justice and says, "I guess you know what I want to talk about." Candace tries to keep her face blank. Tina explains that they need her carpenter skills to spruce the place up for the kids. Candace is relieved; she agrees to help without a second thought.
Bette warns Kit about Ivan: "She's madly in love with you." Kit insists that he's not; Bette continues to try to make her point. Kit says it's not like that, but Bette insists that Ivan is courting Kit. Kit ends up thanking Bette for the lesson in the "ritual mating habits of indigenous lesbians". Ivan shows up in the doorway and says they'd better be going so Bette can eventually "get home to the little woman". Kit takes Ivan's arm and saunters off, throwing a challenging look over her shoulder at Bette. Bette rolls her eyes and turns around.
At the aquarium, Jenny and Gene are looking at a fish tank. Gene tells Jenny that he doesn't date that much. He hates exercise and mornings. They talk a little more. He kisses her and asks if she wants to go meet the seals, because they might change her mind about using manatees in her story. They go into Gene's office that has a window into the seal tank. They proceed to have sex there but Jenny starts crying. Gene tries to be sensitive and nice, and just holds her.
At Mr. Piddles' funeral at The Planet, he is on display, and everyone's looking somber. Tina thinks Mr. P. looks strange; Alice explains that she and Shane put him in the freezer because they were worried about him decomposing. Tina asks how Shane is, but Alice doesn't really know. She thinks it has something to do with Shane's "Hollywood wife". Kit and Ivan arrive. They give their condolences to Dana. Bette arrives and gives Dana a portrait of a cat; it was going to be her Christmas present. From a distance, Alice watches Dana and Tonya, who are dressed alike, and asks, "What is with the twin thing? Are they merging already?" Bette walks over to Tina. Tina asks her how her day was; Bette just shrugs. Marina proposes a toast to Mr. Piddles. Bette says: "To Mr. P., kitty, you well-loved furry feline, we will miss you." Dana thanks them all for coming and says that at times like these, you realize what's important, and that's why she and Tonya are engaged. Everyone is stunned.
At their place, Bette is having a fit about the "conflict of interest" inherent in the idea of Candace taking the job for the Headquarters for Social Justice. She yells at Tina about exploiting Candace and ends up slamming the bathroom door. Tina throws a shoe at the door.
Shane is sleeping in her truck in front of Cherie's house. A cop knocks on the window and tells her that she needs to leave. Shane says she's waiting for the Jaffes and everything's okay. But the cop says they've filed a restraining order against her. Shane starts her car.
Bette has slept on the couch in her clothes. Tina is clanking dishes. She starts to leave. Bette stops her, apologizes, and says she knows she overreacted. Tina calmly accepts the apology and says she's sorry she didn't think to warn Bette that she had dared to talk to someone she works with, but "We've been a little out of touch." Bette says it will all get better once the Provocations show is off the ground. After Tina leaves, Bette mutters, "What the fuck am I doing?"
Jenny wakes up in her studio. She looks at Gene who's lying in the other corner of the room. They're both fully clothed. Gene knows the whole Tim/Marina story now. Jenny tells Gene that she still likes guys but will understand if he doesn't want to see her again. But he does.
At The Planet, Ivan has ordered breakfast for Kit. Kit says she's getting spoiled. She tells Ivan that she adores her, but Kit doesn't have anything to offer Ivan in return. She's a heterosexual woman. Ivan asks if she knows what she's looking for. Kit says that she doesn't know; Ivan responds, "Then how do you know I can't give it to you?"
Jenny says goodbye to Gene. Tim sees him leave, and then storms into the studio. He's in a rage because he was supposed to be the only guy for Jenny. Jenny tries to defend herself. Tim says he doesn't want her in his life anymore: "It doesn't feel good." They agree that Jenny needs to move out.
At the C.A.C., Bette is giving James instructions how to set up the exhibit when she sees Candace and loses her train of thought. She tells her assistant she needs 45 minutes in her office, alone. Bette leaves the door of her office open. Candace comes in and leaves the door open too. They stare at each other for a little while. Bette turns around to close and lock the door. She leans against the door. Candace slowly steps up behind her and inhales her scent, wrapping her arms around Bette and hanging on. Bette takes Candace's fingers into her mouth, then turns in Candace's arms and kisses her in a very hungry way. She unzips her jeans and guides Candace's hand down.
Jenny's writing in her studio. Gene knocks on the door. He comes in, smiling. He's there to take her to the Provocations opening.
Bette's taking a shower. She stares at her hands, then sinks to the floor and cowers in the corner of the shower. Tina sees her and helps her up. She thinks that Bette is exhausted. She says that if Bette falls apart, she'll be there to take care of her. Bette wants them to try and have a baby. She needs them to start their family. Tina replies that she needs some time, maybe in a few months. Tina gives Bette a little kiss, and Bette sort of reaches forward for another, but Tina just kisses the top of her forehead instead. Bette starts to cry a little.
Ivan arrives at Kit's apartment in full drag, with flowers. Kit opens the door. Ivan tells her she's beautiful, and she seems happy and charmed.
Bette and Tina are walking towards the C.A.C. Candace is watching them. A reporter asks her what the Provocations show is all about. She gives a very practiced answer.
Jenny and Gene run into Tim and Trish at the exhibit. Tim is pretending to be nice, but when he shakes Gene's hand, he says, "Has she told you she's a dyke yet?" and they walk away. Gene just simply says to Jenny while smiling: "Well, you know, you told me that you were in love with that one woman and now you're sleeping with another woman, but you didn't tell me you were a dyke." They both laugh.
Tonya and Dana greet Tina, Shane and Alice. Alice tells them they look alike; they protest. Tonya pulls Dana away from the group so they can go talk to Melissa Rivers. Shane and Tina tell Alice that Tonya's not really that bad. Alice says she thinks that Tonya murdered Mr. Piddles. Shane barks that it's not like Mr. Piddles was going to inherit Dana's money and Tonya murdered him so she could be the next in line. She storms off; Alice says Shane's so "fucking cranky".
Shane encounters Steve and Cherie outside. Steve tells her that if she ever goes anywhere near his wife or daughter again, she'll have to fear for her life. Cherie gives her a sad look, but then just walks past.
Tina finds Candace and congratulates her on the work she's done. Candace tells her she looks beautiful. Bette shows up and says, "Doesn't she?" Bette is introduced to Candace's friend, Mikela, and the four of them have a little conversation. Mikela asks about piece that's called Jesus Is in Me. The chairman of the board is motioning to Bette, so she and Tina go. Bette tosses a cryptic look over her shoulder to Candace.
Gene tells Jenny, Dana, and Tonya about same-sex kisses among walruses. Robin shows up behind them. She and Jenny seem to be very happy to see each other, but of course it's an awkward situation. Jenny introduces Gene to Robin. Robin's date joins them; it's Marina. Jenny is stunned, and Dana's confused too. Jenny feels uncomfortable so she wants to leave. When Jenny and Gene are gone, Robin asks Marina what's going on, but she doesn't answer.
Shane and Cherie meet in a room full of mirrors. Cherie tells Shane that her husband will kill Shane. Shane answers: "My entire life, people have said that I would become a psychopath if I didn't learn how to feel. And I want to know, Cherie, what the fuck is so great about feeling? Because I finally let myself, and I feel like my heart's been completely ripped out." Cherie tells her it was all a delusion, and that even if she did love Shane too, she can't leave her "Hollywood wife" life behind. Shane gives Cherie one last look and leaves.
Kit and Ivan say goodbye to Tina; they can't find Bette. After they leave, Tina looks out the window and sees Bette and Candace talking and standing close. Bette squeezes Candace's hand as she walks away. Tina looks stunned. She understands what's going on.
Out in the parking garage, Ivan gives Kit her own personal drag king show to the tune of Leonard Cohen's I'm Your Man. They dance.
Gene and Jenny arrive at her studio to find Robin there with a flower in her hand and a concerned look on her face. Robin explains that Tim let her in and that she had no idea Jenny and Marina even knew each other – they've been set up. Robin tells Jenny to listen to her machine; the phone rang while she was waiting. On the machine, Marina tells Jenny she's in love with her and would do anything to have another chance. Jenny's reaction is: "Oh, fuck." Robin and Gene both offer to go, but Jenny doesn't want either of them to leave.
Bette is getting undressed in her bedroom. She sees Tina in the mirror. Tina is sitting, staring. Bette turns around and walks towards her. Tina stands up and says, "I know. I saw it." Bette tries to give her a hug, but Tina pushes her away. Bette says she's sorry; Tina's reply is a hard slap. Bette keeps trying to tell Tina that she loves her and she's sorry, while Tina mostly says "Fuck you." They struggle and fight. Bette throws Tina onto the bed – face down. She keeps telling her that she loves her. She kisses her and tears her shirt apart. Tina keeps struggling and turns around. She gets on top of Bette and keeps yelling at her. Now Tina starts kissing Bette while holding her down. They end up having sex.
Alice is standing on Dana's front step. Dana answers the door, wondering what Alice could possibly need at 4 a.m. in the morning. Alice says, "I have to talk." She tells Dana she can't marry Tonya. When Dana asks why, Alice mumbles and can't look Dana in the eye. She then kisses Dana, quickly but firmly, not knowing how else to say what she needs to say. Then she whispers, "Oh, fuck." They look at each other, Dana leans in, and then they really kiss. After the kiss, Alice says "fuck" again, and says she'd better go. Dana watches her leave, steadying herself against the door frame, and puts a hand to her forehead.
Jenny watches Gene and Robin sleep in her studio.
Shane stares at her sign from her truck; it only says "Sha" now.
Alice walks into her place, asking herself what she's doing. She sees Tina on the couch. Tina asks if she can stay for a while. Alice asks what happened, but Tina can't speak. She goes over to The Chart and draws a new line from Bette's name; she tries to write Candace's name but can't finish it. Alice holds her and lets her cry.