Moira/Max Sweeney (Season 3-)
- Rule #1: Papi doesn't do breakfast.
- Rule #2: Never go home with a girl whose roommate you just bopped that same morning.
Like in Season 3, deleted scenes for some of the Season 4 episodes were available on the official The L Word website on SHO.com.
In the deleted scene from this episode, the trucker who picks up Shay calls Shane. The clip is just a few seconds long and only his side of the conversation is heard. He agrees to meet Shane and then gets back in the cabin of his truck.
Alice is in a crowded gay bar where loud Spanish disco music is playing. Girl, guys and transsexuals come up to her and they all introduce themselves as 'Papi'.
The connection: The real Papi turns out to be quite elusive and she has been sending Alice on a wild goose chase to various locations looking for her.
Alice has 23 hits on the OurChart website.
We find out that Kit had an abortion. Tina also says that she had two in her early twenties.
Watch carefully in the scenes where Bette is interviewing the TA candidates. Her assistant in the waiting room is none other than James (Preston Cook), her assistant from the CAC days in Seasons 1 and 2.
Jenny: Shane, your friends just miss seeing you.
Shane: Jenny, I haven't gone anywhere.
Jenny: Well, I think that you're hiding.
Alice (after Papi grabs a remote in her limousine): What's that, make the bed pop out?
(Shane prepares to leave Shay with Jenny for the day.)
Jenny: Shay, say "Stacey Merkin's a fucking cunt."
Shane: Okay, you know what...
Jenny: Say "Stacey Merkin's a fucking cunt."
Shane: No, you know what, he's not gonna say it.
Jenny: Say it. Say it, say it, say it, say it.
Shane (taking Shay away) Have a great day, Jen.
Jenny: (still talking to Shay as they walk away) Stacey Merkin's a fucking cunt!
Shane: Don't you ever run away from me again, do you hear me? Where do you think you were gonna go?
Shane: Look, I'm your home now, okay? And we both have to get used to that.
Alice: (seeing Shane's bruised face) Looks like Carmen found 'ya.
Bette: (about Shane taking care of Shay) She's so not ready for this.
Jenny: I wish Carmen was here to help her.
Kit: She wasn't ready for that either.
Alice: So, what's the plan? Are you takin' me to Papi?
Papi: I ain't got no plan, baby. It's you who wanted to see me.
Papi: (to Alice) So, now what can I help 'ya with? Not a lotta ladies put an APB out for me on the radio. Mostly it's just their boyfriends comin' after me.
Papi: (to Alice about why she's been with a lot of girls) It's not something that I do, girl. It's not like I wake up in the morning and say "I'm gonna eat some pussy today." (a beat) Well, sometimes.
Alice: Why do you think that they flock to you?
Papi: Love, I guess. They know I love them.
Alice: Really? Really, Papi? All of 'em?
Papi: Mm-hmm. I love their voices, I love their eyes, their hair, their curves, their bodies, their laughter. The sadness, the wetness. (Alice seems nervous knowing Papi is hitting on her.) You see, everything about a woman, I love. ... Touching them, feeling their skin against mine, making them feel good. You see, I respect them the way that I respect myself. And um... (leans closer to Alice) They like the way that I kiss. I can make a woman come just by kissing her.
Alice: Papi, um, I just feel like maybe you're moving a little too fast.
Papi: Oh, then it may be time for the full tour. I'm gonna take you places that you've never been before.
Alice: (unenthused) Oh, yeah. I highly doubt that, Papi.
Jenny: What happened is that Stacey Merkin revealed herself to be a true cunt.
Shane: (doesn't want Shay to hear the curse words) Hey! Please.
Jenny: And she used her gayness to get me to open up. And the thing is, Shay, I didn't even want to do the fucking...
Shane: (puts her hand over Jenny's mouth) The second time.
Jenny: ... interview in the first place.
Helena: (emerging from the bushes with Papi) So, would you like to come back for a nightcap?
Papi: Uh... Rule #2: Never go home with a girl whose roommate you just bopped that same morning.
Alice: Do you wanna come in?
Papi: Oh, no no no. Thanks, though. But it's against the rules. Rule #1: Papi doesn't do breakfast.
Shane: Helena hates me, doesn't she?
Alice: No, she doesn't hate you. But you know, apart from Carmen she is the one who got hurt the most. You know she's my roommate now?
Shane: Really? Well, what do you think I could do to make it up to her?
Alice: You got forty million dollars stashed away in a sock?
Papi: (to Alice, correcting her pronunciation) It's little more Latina than your tongue is used to, chica. Here, let me help you to say my name right. You might need it later.
Alice: (reading a message from Papi) "Tonite 10 p.m. I'll B there. Will U?" Oh yeah, sure you will, Papi.
Tina: You call your computer 'Papi'?
Alice: Oh, no, it's this girl on OurChart. Papi. You know, she has more hits than Shane. How do you not know this? Where have you been? Oh, right. Stuck in the far reaches of Heteroville, that's right.
Alice: What are you doing?
Papi: Circles. Magic circles.
Alice: (moaning) Circles...
Papi: Circles are good, right?
Alice: Oh yeah, circles are good. Yeah, circles. Oh wow, circles.
Papi: You like that?
Alice: Oh yeah, I think I really like circles.
Alice: Oh, wow! How do you say "I'm done" in Spanish.
Papi: (a beat) You're not done.
Shay: I think I'm gonna throw up.
Shane: Oh, umm... Look, the bathroom's right over there.
Helena: You should go with him.
Shane: What the hell am I supposed to do?
Bette: Hold his hair.
Shane: He doesn't have any hair!
Alice: Well, Papi, you have become sort of a legend in about two days on my website. You crashed my whole server.
Papi: What can I say, I've been blessed. Seems the ladies like me as much as I like them.
Alice: We're talking about a helluva lot of ladies.
Papi: Like I said: I've been blessed... a lot.
Helena: (seeing Alice emerge from Papi's limo) Well, well, well. Someone had a busy night.
Alice: Yeah, I was working.
Alice: Yeah, working pretty hard.
Nadia: Wow. Are you... are you an athlete?
Bette: (a beat) No. Why?
Nadia: Because you have, uhh... because you have very beautiful arms.
Bette: (laughs nervously) Uhh, I do some, you know, some yoga every now and again. I just, I really don't have any time to do anything more than that.
Nadia: My ex-girlfriend was a professional boxer and your arms sort of reminded me of hers.
Bette: (chuckles) Well, I'm not a boxer so I better not get into a ring with her.
(Both laugh awkwardly.)
Although credited, Dallas Roberts (Angus) doesn't appear in this episode.
Music Featured in This Episode:
- La Carretilla by Jenny Peer
- Running Out by Mable John
- Short Stoppin' by Veda Brown
- Carry On by Jean Knight
- Champion Lover by Deborahe Glasgow
- Waltz from the ballet Coppelia, composed by Léo Delibes
- Teresita from Five Alarm Music Library
- Never Run from Jah by Queen Omega
- No Me Hables Así by Sol
- Esta Noche Tu Vendras by Chelo Silva
- Salve Me, performed by studio musicians
- Piano Concerto No. 23, composed by Mozart
- Wargasm by L7
- Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill
- Couldn't Leave Her Alone by The Hedrons
- Fallaste Corazon by Ranchera All Stars feat. Maria E. Garcia
In the behind-the-scenes video for this episode on the OurChart website, exec producer Ilene Chaiken and this episode's writer Alex Kondracke say that the idea for Carla dumping Shay on Shane's porch came from Kate Moennig, and the idea for Jenny swearing in the kitchen and Shay spilling milk on her bag came from Mia Kirshner. Mia also ad-libbed the line about merkin meaning a "vagina wig" at the Curve magazine office.
Shots of Cybill Shepherd (Chancellor Phyllis Kroll) have been added to the opening credits although she is credited only as a Special Guest Star.
Janina Gavankar's (Papi) name has been added to the opening credits.
This episode was given out on a free DVD to those who attended Season 4 premiere parties hosted by the Human Rights Campaign.
Title: Livin' La Vida Loca
The episode title is taken from the 1999 hit song by the same name, performed by Ricky Martin.
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