The L Word

Season 2 Episode 11

Loud & Proud

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM May 01, 2005 on Showtime

Episode Recap

Opening Teaser: In a dungeon of some sort, a woman is on a cross, whimpering, while the dominatrix encourages her to beg. She slashes her whip across the slave's abs a few times, and then removes her gag just long enough for a proper kiss. The woman on the cross then begs to be fucked, but the dominatrix tells her that she'll give her a minute to think about how badly she wants her to fuck her and then walks outside. As the door closes behind her, the captioning reads: "Los Angeles, California – Present Day", and there's a Pride 2005 sign on the door. Tina is at a hospital with a huge bouquet of flowers. She looks for Bette, who's arguing with a doctor. It seems Melvin is refusing treatment, and Bette thinks the doctor should refuse to respect that wish. Just as the doctor leaves, Tina shows up behind Bette and asks her how her father is. Bette explains that Melvin has advanced prostate cancer and he refuses any treatment. She and Tina cry together and hug. Tina asks where Kit is; Bette says she's in Melvin's room, but has to leave soon to get The Planet ready for Pride. Bette also says that Kit thinks Melvin's right to refuse treatment; Bette herself thinks that Melvin can't make any decisions right now because he's not himself. Tina takes Bette's hand and walks her to Melvin's room. As they walk into the room, Kit helps Melvin back into bed. Tina greets him, but he just says that Tina should take the flowers back home; they can put flowers on his grave. After Bette asks her dad to say hello to Tina, he says "Hello, Miss Kennard", which doesn't please Bette. Tina asks Melvin if he wants to touch her pregnant belly to feel the baby but he thinks that would be "highly inappropriate". Shane is watching Mark's tapes. Meanwhile, Jenny is working on her collage. She has cut up a family photo, and is now pushing the cut-out of herself into the mouth of a scary clown face. She puts some other cut-outs in a carnival big top while she whispers the hamotzi (Sabbath blessing), and then pushes cut-out Jenny into some sort of whirlpool. Shane interrupts her to ask what she's doing. Jenny explains that she keeps having these nightmares and she's "trying to work it all out". Shane tells Jenny that she likes living with her and that she doesn't want to lose that. Because of this, she's not going to do anything about Carmen, but Jenny thinks the two of them should be together. Shane is worried about her, but Jenny just says that Carmen was a very important step for her but now she's "on to other things". She thinks Shane and Carmen could be great together. Shane's not convinced and shows Jenny some of Mark's tapes of her. We see Shane eating cereal, smoking pot, having sex, and talking about what she wants. After watching it, Jenny kisses Shane's hand and says, "You're not scary. And Carmen is not gonna get herself involved with something she can't handle." Shane pulls Jenny close and they just hold each other for a minute. Alice and Dana are having sex. They're role-playing again; this time a maid and a master. Alice says, "I love you." Dana answers, role-playing: "Camille, I told you not to fall in love with me.", to which Alice replies: "No, this is me talking. I love you, Dana." Dana hesitates, and then opens her mouth to reply, but is saved by the doorbell. Alice looks through the peephole; it's Howie, Dana's little brother. They quickly rearrange their clothes and their hormones as much as they can, and let him in. Howie gives Dana a hug. He then sees Alice and congratulates her on her "nice outfit". Alice says, "Yeah, I'm cleaning", while pretending to be dusting – with Dana's tie. Dana wants to know how Howie found her, so he tells her that "mom and Dad love to talk about how you gave up your bright future with Tonya for a dead-end relationship with her"... pointing at Alice. Helena and Tina are having dinner. To Helena, Tina seems far away but she shrugs it off by saying that she's just thinking about Melvin. Helena thinks that it's not really any of her concern anymore, but Tina replies that Bette is still her family. The server comes to take their plates, and Tina decides this is a good time to tell Helena that she wants to see other people. Helena replies: "You mean you want to see Bette." Helena is obviously hurt but she pretends to be fine – they weren't exclusive anyway. Howie is unpacking his suitcase. It looks like he is planning to stay for a while, because his parents have been all up in his grill. He gets the impression that Alice and Dana are not that thrilled about the idea of him staying. Alice explains that it's "gay pride weekend, and we're kinda all up in that 'out and proud' thing". Howie says he'll just go with them to Pride. Alice explains that gay pride is for gay people. Dana puts an arm around Alice, motions to the two of them and says "Gay". She then points to Howie and says "Not gay." Howie sort of snorts and says "right". Jenny and Shane are chopping vegetables and talking about going to Pride and to the post-Pride party at The Planet. Mark shows up; he wants to stay one more night, even though he knows that they hate him. He says he would love to ask for their forgiveness, but probably wouldn't forgive himself, so there's no point. He says, "I don't know if you can relate to this, but it's like this terrible thing that I was doing suddenly became the best, truest thing that I had ever done." Jenny's stunned and just blurts, "What?" Mark starts to go. Shane stops him and tells him he can stay one more night. Bette is reading Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn to her father. Tina knocks on the door. She's brough some food and a change of clothes for Bette, who's very grateful. She doesn't know how much longer she could have worn her dress – the same dress she wore in Tina's awards dinner. Tina tells her that she looks beautiful in it, but Bette thinks it was Tina who looked beautiful and radiant. Tina blushes and says she was mad at Bette because she thought she left the ceremony to spite Tina. But Bette explains that she was proud of Tina – she looked so confident. They're so into each other that they don't even hear it when Melvin presses the call button. A nurse comes in; he asks her to close the curtain around his bed. Tina takes the hint and starts to go. Bette wants to know if she'll see her the next day. Tina tells her that she's going to the parade with Helena. She's not going to stop seeing Helena, but she also understands it if Bette doesn't want to see her under those circumstances. Then Tina kisses Bette's cheek, and Bette almost starts to try to make it more, but holds back. She sighs after Tina is gone. She opens the curtain and tells Melvin he doesn't have to hide anymore. Melvin says, "I've loved you. I've supported every endeavor you've ever undertaken. I've given you every opportunity to follow your every dream. I don't understand why you want to punish me." Bette tells him that she's not punishing him. But Melvin doesn't understand her life choices; Bette is such a beautiful woman. He asks her what she'll say when she stands under judgment before God. Bette answers: "I will say, 'I am your creation, and I am proud.'" She gets up, walks away from the bed, and closes the curtain behind her. Shane is still watching tapes of herself. This time it's the scene in which Carmen says they have something "rare". Shane is crying as she watches. Howie is making himself comfortable in the living room. Dana offers him sheets and pillows, and wonders if he needs PJs, because he's just wearing some sort of shell necklace and some groovy animal-print-ish briefs. Back in bed, Alice whines that Howie is going to ruin their Pride. Dana suggests that maybe Howie can hang out with Alice, because Dana's going to be on the Gay and Lesbian Center float anyway. Alice didn't know about that and asks if Dana was going to tell her about that. Dana feels bad, and says Alice should be on the float, too, because she's a celebrity too: "You're Alice Pieszecki of The Chart, Pieszecki!" She tells Alice to be with her on the float, to be "known as gay together". They kiss and Alice says again that she loves Dana. Dana just says that she's going to set the alarm. Shane is pouring some coffee for Jenny and herself. There's a knock on the door; it's Mark. He's brought coffee and "those little organic scone things you guys like". Shane just sort of stares him and takes the items. Mark wants to talk to Jenny: he wishes there was something he could do to make it better. He says he's not the guy he was when he moved in – Jenny and Shane have made him a better man. Jenny replies, "Oh, fuck off, Mark. It's not my job to make you a better man, and I don't give a shit if I've made you a better man. It's not a fucking woman's job to be consumed and invaded and spat out so that some fucking man can evolve." Mark says that through his mistake, he has learned how difficult it is to be a woman. As he starts to take off his clothes, Jenny questions what he's doing. Mark asks, "Is this what you want?" Jenny replies, "No. What I want is for you to write 'fuck me' on your chest... And then I want you to walk out that door and I want you to walk down the street. And anybody that wants to fuck you, say, 'sure, sure, no problem'. And when they do, you have to say 'thank you very, very much'. And make sure that you have a smile on your face. And then, you stupid fucking coward, you're gonna know what it feels like to be a woman." Shane stumbles in as Mark gets dressed. He's embarrassed. At the Pride Parade, the people on the Gay and Lesbian Center float are thrilled to see Dana, but not so impressed with Howie and Alice. Dana tries to convince the LAGLC rep that Alice is her girlfriend and a celebrity, too, but it's not working. The rep says that only the people on her clipboard get to be on the float, and that it will be fun for Alice and Howie to watch Dana from the crowd. As Dana gets on the float, she tells Alice and Howie that she's sorry. Alice says, sarcastically, "sweet of her". Howie's being eyed by a guy, but Alice shoos him away and apologizes to Howie for the "meat market" thing. Shane and Jenny show up. Shane wants Alice to come with her because Jenny won't come with her to "ride with the motorcycle lesbians". Jenny wants to be an observer, but Alice wants to go. She wonders what to do with Howie, though. Jenny offers to look after him. Alice walks over to the LAGLC girl and tells her: "I'm gonna go with the Dykes on Bikes, so, uh, you can write that on your clipboard", and she thwaps the clipboard into the woman's face as she walks off. Alice tells Shane that she told Dana she loved her but that Dana didn't say anything back. Then she wonders why she's talking to Shane about love. Shane tells her that she can at least see that Dana loves her. They hop on the bikes and wave at Jenny as their ride by. Elsewhere in the parade, Helena tells Tina that she's never actually been to a Pride parade before. She's done the parties around it and all, but has never been quite this close to the action. Tina tells her that this is her seventh, which impresses Helena: "Such a political being you are, fighting for gay rights." But Tina tells her that she and Bette just went every year so they'd have an excuse to have a margarita before 3:00. Helena asks Tina whether she misses those times with Bette, but Tina insists that she likes seeing it through Helena's eyes. Alice and Dana find Jenny at the HRC booth, and ask her where Howie is. Jenny's not sure, but she's not worried about him. A woman shows up with flyers for "The Seven Stations of the Cross". She likes Jenny's cap and suspenders and asks Jenny if she'll see here there. Jenny says "maybe", to which the woman replies: "Well, I love to punish a tease." While Melvin sleeps, Bette rifles through his wallet and finds a picture of herself, him, and her mother. "I wish you were here, Mom", she says. As Kit comes in, Bette quickly hides the wallet behind her in the chair. Kit tells Bette to go home, but Bette says she just can't do anything else but be there. Melvin wakes up at the sound of "his Katie's" voice. Kit goes to his side, and he tells her he's sorry for all of the years of foolishness, because of course he loves her. Bette kind of rolls her eyes in the background, until Melvin asks for his "baby". Bette gets up and goes to the other side of the bed, and she and Kit stand there with their dad and profess their love. Alice and Dana are trying to muster the courage to check out "The Seven Stations of the Cross". They're nervous, so they decide to "look at the pros and cons" on the flyer. They decide they can at least sneak a peek. So they go in, and as they do, Dana says, "Ooh, what do you want your safe word to be?" Alice replies: "I dunno, tuna fish?" About five seconds after they enter the dungeon, they leave it, consoling themselves and scurrying off to The Planet. At The Planet, Helena and Tina greet Carmen who's DJing at the after-party. Jenny finds some sort of window on the side of the room, and watches Shane and Carmen from afar. An older and rather tipsy lesbian sees her and taps on the other side of the glass, and then chats with Jenny for a bit. Helena and Tina find Leigh Ostin, who is going through a break up from her girlfriend. Helena asks Leigh to dance, right in front of Tina. Tina doesn't feel great about this, so she leaves, making her excuses to Alice and Dana on her way. Dana is worried about Howie, and then suddenly there he is, dancing with that cute guy who was checking him out at the parade. Dana grabs him and asks how he can be drinking a Cosmo: it's alcoholic. Alice points out that it's gay. Howie says he's just celebrating pride, but Dana doesn't know what he has to be proud of. She thinks that he's imitating her. Howie tells her that he's gay – he has actually known he was gay since age 4 – and Dana's just has to get used to it. As Howie and Dana talk, Alice and Howie's new boyfriend dance. Dana wants to know why, if Howie has been gay for so long, he's made that much fun of her. He tells her that it's because she was scared. But he also asks Dana to tell their mom and dad for him. She just hugs him. Jenny's still working on her collage. Mark sneaks in to drop off his keys. Jenny dares him to stay and deal with the Pandora's box that he's opened. He takes the dare, snatching up the keys as quick as he can. Jenny tells him that they are not friends. Mark just stares at her, and then leaves. Jenny puts on her coat and leaves, too. Kit talks to her dad, assuming he's asleep and can't hear her. She muses about how wonderful she thought he was when she was a kid, and how handsome, when he suddenly answers. He wants to know where Benjamin is, so she says he's with his wife and kids. Melvin tells her that she shouldn't have let him go: if he's the man she wants to be with, then she should be with him whatever the cost. Alice and Dana are dancing. They're laughing and having fun, when Dana stops and really looks at Alice. Dana tells Alice she loves her. They hug. Alice replies, "I love, you too". The camera steps back to show them hugging in the middle of the crowd. Jenny's in the S&M dungeon, partaking in the Seven Stations of the Cross. As the woman straps her in, Jenny flashes back to something. It's Jenny in little girl clothes, and she's being attacked and held down. Meanwhile, Jenny breaks her restraints and yells at the woman, "Don't touch me!" We switch to another vision, in which little-girl Jenny stands and stares in her mussed clothes as people dance in a big tent. Real-life Jenny sobs. Shane walks up to Carmen who's finishing up her DJ shift. She tells Carmen about herself: her dog Remy, her brother she's never met, her mom who put her in foster care when she was 9 but whom she still loves very much. Carmen says nothing: she touches Shane face, and walks away. Bette and Kit are staring out of windows. In her vision, grown-up Jenny stands in mussed little girl clothes.