Opening Teaser: We're in Les Rues Montmartre, in "some other time". Henri (Hunter) and Madelaine (Charlotte) are walking down a street. He wants to know what kind of woman she likes as they are passing some prostitutes. They stop in front of one. Madelaine thinks that she could be wild and crazy. Henri tells her: "She's not a she, Madelaine." They continue walking. They get to a girl, Jasmine (Jenny), and Henry tells Madelaine that she's what they're looking for. "She looks sweet, a little gamine. But you can see that she's nasty." He goes over to her and talks to her in French. He invites her over to their hotel room. She asks him if his lady friend wants her – is she able to satisfy her?
Alice and Dana wake up in bed together. They are smooching and talking sleepily. Alice tells Dana that they have to do it. Dana replies: "But we did it all night long. We just went to sleep three hours ago, Alice. I'm beginning to think you're a sex maniac." Alice tells her that she didn't mean that... even though it sounds great. She meant that they have to tell their friends that they are dating each other. She's afraid that they might "freak". They continue to cuddle and kiss.
Mark is outside. Jenny walks to the door, wishes Mark a good morning, and wonders how he is. Mark is still fixated on what makes Shane so Shane, and Jenny thinks it's that people want what they can't have. He asks about Carmen and then draws a connection to Shane again. Jenny tells him to stop: "You're weird. You're weirder than me."
Tina and Helena are in bed together. Tina's still asleep. Helena starts kissing her neck, which makes Tina smile. Helena's hand wends its way under the covers and Tina responds to that too. She says, "This is a nice way to wake up." But then Helena's kids rush in, so Tina stops Helena's hand, despite her assurances that it's okay. Helena starts to say, "They have very healthy attitudes towards --" but Tina interrupts and says that they should not be seeing this. Wilson, Helena's son, wants to hear Tina's "baby's heart beating". Helena tells her kids to go and wake up Nunu. After the kids leave, Tina says the whole thing freaked her out because "It's not natural for them to see their mother fucking someone they barely know." Helena just tells her that Tina is not a parent yet but she herself has been one for a while. She also tells her that they are going to San Diego the next weekend with the kids. Helena continues to kiss Tina.
Bette meets Leo Herrera at the C.A.C. He says they've met before, but she has no recollection of meeting him. Leo says he respects Bette's position at the C.A.C. But then he says he met Bette's "ex" with Helena and that "they're so excited about the baby". She does the only thing she can, which is smile fakely and walk off. Bette goes to her office, calls Tina and leaves a message, saying that she needs "to have some kind of resolution before the baby is born". James shows up with some paper work and with a message from Alice, who wants Bette to be at The Planet for an "emergency meeting". James also gives Bette a catalog of Leigh Ostin's work. She flips through the pages to Leigh's picture. Bette decides it's time for a studio visit.
In her office, Veronica Bloom is on the phone, swearing about Marty, her ex-husband. When she's done, she throws the phone at one of her colleagues. She very angry: she throws everyone but Shane out of her office. After Shane asks Veronica if she can get her something, Veronica asks her, "Why do people always let you down?" Shane answers that that's why she tries not to need anything from anyone. Veronica wants Shane to teach her how to do that.
Jenny's writing a story called "Luminous". The girl in the story, Dee Dee Steinberg, wants to see the fabulous Venus de Mylar. But the person in Venus de Mylar's trailer is a man, Victor Bernstein, who says, "I'm her, girlie", and puts on his wig and platform heels. Dee Dee wants to join the circus because she doesn't belong anywhere and her family thinks she's a freak. This is nothing new to Venus/Victor, so he asks, "Do you have any talent? Any special circus skills?" In reply, Dee Dee lifts her skirt.
Jenny's is reading the last line of her story to her class. Charlotte asks for comments. Hunter says Jenny's story extraordinary. Jenny thanks Hunter and asks Charlotte if she has any questions or comments.
Veronica is getting some sort of peel at a spa and asks Shane, "So why shouldn't I become a lesbian?" Shane tells her that women are intense, a lot of work, and can suck you dry. Veronica replies that she likes intensity. When things aren't intense, she gets bored. Shane watches the peel in disgust while Veronica grunts in pain.
Bette visits Leigh Ostin's studio; she thinks that her work is "exquisite". Bette wants to know why she hasn't seen Leigh's work before. Leigh answers that Michael has been "trying to get you in here for ages". Leigh shows Bette some copies she's done of Renaissance paintings. Bette is delighted. She invites Leigh to join her at The Planet, where Sharon Isbin will be performing. Leigh says she saw Isbin perform with the NY Philharmonic at Avery Fisher Hall. Bette asks again if Leigh wants to join her. But then Valerie, who's apparently Leigh's girlfriend, walks in and Leigh asks if it would be ok for her to come, too.
Dana and Alice are walking on a dirt road and holding hands. They talk about their big announcement. Alice thinks it's important that all their friends find out at the same time. Dana points out that Shane already knows, but Alice says Shane didn't tell anyone – "She's like the only person on earth who can actually keep a secret."
Helena's kids are watching TV. Tina walks in and tells them that it's a nice day and they shouldn't be spending it staring at the TV. She's brought art supplies for the kids, and is ready to play with them, but Helena interrupts: "Tina has to come and spend a little time with Mama." Tina and Helena go out on the roof and start making out. Meanwhile, Helena's ex has arrived. She asks her kids where Helena is. Helena is going down on Tina just as her ex strolls out onto the roof and sort of stands there and watches for a bit. Tina finally realizes and tries to cover herself. Helena just looks annoyed, wipes off her mouth, and says, "Tina, meet my ex, Winnie Mann."
Bette introduces Kit to Leigh and Valerie at The Planet. They admire how Kit was able to book Sharon Isbin to play at the café; Kit explains that her friend Benjamin hooked it up.
Winnie's not happy: she tells Helena that the kids were due back with her that morning. Tina comes into the room to get her stuff. Helena wants Tina to stay; Winnie thinks she should go. Helena says that she needs Tina as a witness, but Winnie warns her that it's better not to get involved. Tina remembers that Alice is having "this gathering at The Planet", and says that she should go.
At Veronica's house, Shane is emptying a packet of something into a glass of water. In another room, Veronica starts yelling to her ex-husband on the phone. Shane goes to her.
At The Planet, Sharon Isbin is talking to Kit. Upon learning that Bette has just broken up with her partner, she asks Kit to introduce her to Bette in six months. Kit grins and tells Sharon she's a smart woman. Bette is sitting at a table with Leigh and her girlfriend. A musician approaches Bette and introduces herself. She tells Bette that everyone's watching her: "There is a group of women over at the bar who have you meat-tagged like nobody's business." Bette doesn't understand; Leigh explains that it means she's marked as a hot item.
Another woman shows up and introduces herself to Bette. The woman, Meryl, used to be an exec at Disney, but now she's a therapist. She hands Bette her card and says, "I would rather date you than analyze you. Call me."
Shane's getting some pills for Veronica. She finds some other interesting pills and pockets them. She goes over to Veronica, who's in bed looking awful, and hands her the pills. Then she asks if it was ok that she just took some pills: "You had some Oxy in there... would you mind?" Veronica tells her to take whatever she wants. She tells her that when she comes back, she should get into bed with her, "get fucked up and watch Funny Girl". But Shane wasn't planning to stick around. She starts to go, which is not okay with Veronica: "I'm fucking paying you. You will stay here until I tell you you can go." Shane answers: "Fuck that" and walks away. Veronica gets out of bed and yells after her that she'll do whatever Veronica tells her to do while running after Shane. Shane just keeps on walking out of the house. When Shane closes the front door behind her, Veronica yells, "Come back here!"
At The Planet, Kit doesn't know what meat-tagged is either. Bette starts to explain, but another admirer interrupts and says she has a friend who'd be happy to be Bette's rebound girl. Kit thinks that it's not a bad offer. Bette says that she needs to think about it.
Alice and Dana are driving to The Planet. They talk about what they'll say to their friends. Dana says, "I dunno. That nothing much has changed, you know? That we're still hanging out every day and night; it's just that now we're having incredible, mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex." They start to grin. Alice checks her watch. Dana says they're early – Alice pulls the car over and they make out.
Back at The Planet, Carmen is teaching Jenny how to be a DJ, and she is also flirting with Jenny. Tina shows up. She sees Bette, and looks uncomfortable. Kit greets Tina, calling her "Mama". She sees the way Tina's looking at Bette and tells her that Bette is getting rid of the girls who are surrounding her. Tina asks what they want and Kit answers, "Filet mignon, honey." Tina's nervous, but she sits down next to Bette. They exchange civil hellos and agree to talk after the weekend.
Carmen teaches Jenny how to slide channel buttons and flick crossfaders. Jenny asks if they should do it. Carmen asks, "You want to?" Jenny answers: "I do." So Jenny slides and crossfades and flirts. Just as Jenny and Carmen are starting to smooch and get cozy, Shane shows up. Carmen sees her and stops and stares; Jenny sees her reaction. Shane turns around and leaves, running into Dana and Alice on the way. As Alice and Dana walk in, a spotlight hits them and Carmen grabs her mike: "All right, everyone, if I could have your attention please, there is a happy new couple in the house." Dana and Alice do the spotlight dance to a remix of Shirley Bassey's "Where Do I Begin". They smile at each other.
At Shane and Jenny's place, Carmen and Jenny are still flirting. Carmen puts a strawberry in her mouth and leans against the fridge. Jenny takes the cue, goes over to the fridge and kisses Carmen. They start to make out on the countertop. Shane shows up, with twins. Carmen stops in her tracks again, and Jenny feels weird and lights a cigarette. When Shane and the twins leave, Carmen and Jenny's mood is ruined. Carmen wants a rain check. Jenny says that she understands, kisses Carmen on the cheek and leaves.
Mark watches Shane and the twins on his monitor. He keeps pausing and rewinding because he sees Shane snorting something. The twins are rolling around on the bed and begging "Shawn" to come play with them, but Shane's not interested.
In the morning, Tina is by the beach with one of her colleagues talking about a workshop. Helena shows up.
Carmen goes to see Jenny. She wants to know if this is the "cool clear light of day". Jenny invites her in. Carmen's trying to figure out why she freaked out the previous night. She doesn't understand why she left. Jenny thinks it's because she likes Shane. Carmen doesn't know what to say, so she just takes her shirt off. Jenny flops on the bed and says "here". Then they kind of claw at each other, and start slapping each other. They struggle a bit, and then Carmen lays down on Jenny and starts to relax.
Helena and Tina are walking towards each other. Tina's surprised that Helena's not mad at her for leaving during the argument with Winnie. Helena's actually nice about the whole thing, and apologetic, and talks about how sad it is that the kids' mummies are splitting up. Helena says that Winnie's trying to keep the kids all to herself and cut Helena off, and it all hits home with Tina.
Shane is passed out on the couch. The music is loud and the phone is ringing. Jenny comes running in and answers it; it's Veronica Bloom. While Jenny is on the phone, Carmen walks into the room. Shane doesn't want to talk to Veronica. After Jenny leaves, Carmen turns off the music and has a few words for Shane: "You want to know something? You've been getting away with this shit for far too long. I don't know what that poor ass-kissing woman did to piss you off. You know, maybe you guys were walking down the street one day, and she smiled at you too sweetly by accident. Okay, but maybe she bought you a gift to let you know that you're kind of special to her. Or just maybe... maybe she really liked you. I think that that's something that you just don't know how to handle right now. And, uh... and I also think that... that we sweet simple folk will not go around kissing your ass forever." After that, Carmen leaves. Shane is stunned by her frankness.
In writing class, Hunter is reading a story. When Charlotte asks the class to comment, Jenny raises her arm so high, she practically hops out of her chair. She compares Hunter to Henry Miller, but when Charlotte presses for more, it gets a little less friendly. Jenny thinks that Hunter has turned all women in his story into "nameless, faceless body-part whores". Hunter disagrees with her; he thinks that he honors his female characters. Jenny replies, "Your main character, Jasmine, she, like, opens up Madelaine's world by giving her the best fucking orgasm she's ever had, which, I don't know if you know this, is the primary sex act that two women can actually have. And then you go ahead and you belittle it by turning it into pornography, and I think that the reason why you're doing this is because men can't handle the fact that these women can have this amazing, fucking, beautiful mind-blowing orgasm without a fucking cock!" Charlotte thinks that it sounds like Jenny knows what she's talking about. Jenny's embarrassed and sinks down into her chair.
Mark's in front of his computer. His phone rings. It's Shane, wondering whether Jenny's home. But she's not, so Shane has to ask Mark for help instead: she's nearly OD'd on the Oxy she got from Veronica. He gets the directions to where she is right now and tells her not to drink too much water, and that he'll be right there to pick her up. On Mark's computer, there is a shot of Shane, one hand flipping off the camera and the other hand holding a joint.
After class, Charlotte asks "Schecter" to stay behind. She tells her that what she did was totally unnecessary and that she knows better. Jenny tells her that she just spoke her mind. She wants to know what Charlotte's standard is that she wants Jenny to live up to. Charlotte has an assignment for Jenny. Some formerly famous action movie star needs a ghost writer for his memoirs. Charlotte says, "I told him you were my most gifted student."
Tina's at the workshop playing with kids. As she watches Helena help a kid build a sand castle, Tina calls Bette and leaves a message.
Mark is running around a street and finds Shane. Two guys are beating Shane up and calling her a little freak. Mark jumps in and helps her get rid of the attackers, who thought Shane was a guy.
Bette arrives home to find an eager, waiting delivery girl, Sandy. She's looking for Tina. Bette tells her that "Tina doesn't live here anymore". Sandy explains that Tina used to buy frozen meat from her and asks Bette if she might want something. Bette says that she doesn't cook that much. Sandy gives her a box of New York steaks and offers to cook them for her sometime. Bette just chuckles and goes inside. When she walks up to the door there is a big box in front of it. Inside her place, she checks the answering machine. There is a message from Tina: "I just wanted to let you know that I've been, uh, thinking about our baby. We conceived of this baby together, and you should absolutely be part of her life." Bette smiles. She opens the box to reveal a special-order mobile from Leigh. Bette's smile gets bigger as she says, "I think she'll like this."