The Legend of Calamity Jane

Season 1 Episode 5

Train Kept A Rollin'

1
Aired Saturday 10:00 AM Apr 07, 1998 on The WB
7.0
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Train Kept A Rollin'
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Doolin's gang breaks their leader out of jail and they set out to rob an Army train transporting ten tons of dynamite. Jane and Joe are scouting for the Army and have to stop Doolin before he makes good his escape.

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    • QUOTES (7)

      • Luke: How do I look?
        Doolin: Not much better than you smell, but you'll do.

      • Joe: (as the hijackers escape) Eh, that ain't right, is it?
        O'Rourke: That train's got ten tons of dynamite on it.
        Joe: Well, son, I hope you wasn't plannin' on a promotion.

      • O'Rourke: I've been authorized to give you this briefing but what I tell you mustn't go no farther. Agreed?
        Jane: I wouldn't tell my hairdresser. Even if I had one.
        Joe: You know me. My word's as good they day I give it as the day I bake it. I mean, die. Day I die! You know what I mean.

      • Joe: Did I ever tell you that me and water ain't the best of friends?
        Jane: I can smell that from a mile away.

      • Joe: But why do rivers have to be made of water? With fish in int. I hate fish. And what about them crocodiles?
        Jane: Joe, ain't no crocodiles this far north.
        Joe: Yeah? Well maybe one escaped the circus. You ever think of that?
        Jane: No, can't say I ever did.
        Joe: Yeah, well, they could be out there right now waiting for us with those beady little eyes. Over there! What's that?
        Jane: I don't see nothin'. You're imaginin' things.

      • Joe: Now don't go sneakin' up on a body like that.
        Jane: Sorry, Joe. Next time I'll try to drown a little more.
        Joe: Yeah, well, you just try and do that.

      • Jane: Come on. We ain't got much time.
        Joe: Well, when we ever? Go here, go there, get dunked. Next you'll be waiting for me to fly like a birdie.
        Jane: That'd be great, Joe. That'll save us from having to jump onboard the moving train.
        Joe: Moving train?!?

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