Richard "Ringo" Langly
John Fitzgerald Byers
Yves Adele Harlow
Kimmy the Geek
Bertram Roosevelt Byers
The secret location of the Lone Gunmen's HQ is finally given. Their warehouse/basement is in Takoma Park, Maryland, essentially an industrial suburb of Washington D.C.
Publicist: Ladies and gentlemen... ladies and gentlemen, thank you. On behalf of our 14,000 employees, I am pleased to say, welcome to E-Com-Con; the most technologically advanced, yet socially conscious company on the Fortune 500.
Langly: Yeah right...
Publicist: In this state of the art research and development center, we're taking the next step in computer processor evolution and we're creating a new age of innovation and customer service.
Langly: How about a new age of invading your customers' privacy.
Publicist: Sir... are you sure you're on the right tour?
Langly: Yeah, why don't you tell us about that Octium IV chip you're developing...
Publicist: Well... The Octium IV is our latest high speed processor... it's capable of 6.8 gigaflops; that's nearly seven billion calculations per second.
Langly: I mean tell us the truth. How the Octium is secretly designed to keep tabs on the user.
Frohike: (on radio) Patriot One to Patriot Two, we're in position.
Langly: It's got a tiny little modem embedded in each processor, see. So that it can upload your files onto the internet. And your credit history. And your tax bracket, and your social security number. All neatly packaged for these robber barons.
Publicist: Sir, I don't know if this is the proper forum...
Langly: And another thing...
Frohike: (on radio) Patriot Two. Patriot Two, we're in position; shut up already.
Langly: Uhh...is there peanuts in this?" (He holds up a kebab, then drops to the floor, faking an allergic reaction. Guards rush to his aid)
Frohike: We need that chip, Yves.
Yves: Melvin, I knew you'd come begging sooner or later.
Frohike: Lay off the Melvin crap, I need some serious gigaflops and I need them now.
Yves: Well I hear some guy with a beard took that chip.
Frohike: Those were a woman's lips I kissed.
Yves: Like you ever kissed a girl before.
Frohike: I don't have time for this.
Yves: You going to take it away from me?
Frohike: Give us the chip, Yves, or you'll be sacrificing the lives of hundreds of people, including Byers and his father.
Yves: I'm crying.
Frohike: Yeah, you're one real tough cookie. How much are you going to enjoy spending the millions you make selling that chip, when you realize it's been paid for in blood?
Yves: I guess you don't know me.
Frohike: Or maybe I do, Lee Harvey Oswald. Your name, Yves Adele Harlow, is an anagram of Lee Harvey Oswald. Some joke. I know who you really are, sugar. And I can tell the world in my... "silly little rag."
Pilot: All right, try cutting electrical power.
Bertram Byers: They've thought of that. They've thought of everything.
Pilot: (over intercom) Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We're experiencing some... some technical difficulties up here. At this time we'd like you all to return to your seats.
Bertram Byers: And kiss your asses goodbye.
(The Lone Gunman headline: 'Terrorist Act Narrowly Averted)
Langly: So, we're going with this then?
Byers: Can't do it, we don't have the proof.
Langly: Then we don't have a lead story for this week's issue.
Frohike: Yeah, we do. (He deletes the headline and types: 'Octium IV Chip Invades Privacy')
Byers: Well we certainly don't have proof for that.
Langly: Your pistol packing bearded lady has it, remember?
Frohike: Yeah? Well, turnabout's fair play. em>(He holds up the Octium IV processor chip)
Langly: How the hell did you get that?
Frohike: Hey... once you've had a little taste of Frohike... Okay. I grabbed it, I ran.
Byers: Know what? We've got a story to write.
Langly: What we won't do for the Constitution.
Frohike: Yeah, like having a roll of tape shoved up our kazoos.
Kimmy: What is this, another one of your wacko conspiracy theories, like who shot J.R.?
Byers: That's why I teamed up with you guys. You're true believers.
Frohike: And I thought it was for the chick throw-off.
Langly: Congrats on not being dead.
Bertram: Oh, the day is young.
Langly: I'll try decrypting in background mode.
Byers: How long will that take?
Langly: In my counts per sec, I estimate seven to ten days.
Byers: Oh. Needless to say...
Langly: Our asses are fried.
First Guard: Full body cavity search.
Byers: My father used to talk about JFK when I was a kid. Camelot, a government as good as its people, the American dream. (Sighs). I don't know when or why he stopped believing in it, but those stories made me who I am. Made me believe in the promise of our country.
Frohike: Truth, justice, and the American Way,
Byers: Someone has to expose those who would destroy that dream. Someone has to write the stories they don't want you to read. That's why I teamed up with you guys. You're true believers.
When first aired, this episode ran no opening credits. The only thing run to identify the series was a splash image of the LGM's logo, and then right into the rolling credits of the actor's names as act one opened. This was very different than both the not-for-air version and the version played for the premier party in Los Angeles. The opening credits played in both the not-for-air version and in LA were different for the Pilot episode than those in "Bond, Jimmy Bond."
Tony Morelli (Assassin) used to be the stunt coordinator for The X-Files, and played one of Krycek's partners that attacked Skinner in the episode "Paper Clip."
Stephen Snedden (Jimmy Bond) is not credited or seen in this episode.
Tony Morelli (Assassin) is also stunt coordinator of this episode. He's credited as Tony Morrelli but that's a spelling mistake.
The series was filmed in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
Some conspiracy theorists have claimed that this was an intentional attempt by the creators to warn people about 9/11, however the creators have been silent on this matter.
The events in this episode are somewhat similar to what happened at 9/11.
All of the creators of The Lone Gunmen write this episode.
The pilot episode has never been aired in the UK.
The character Kimmy the Geek is played by Jim Fyfe, the same actor who played Jimmy the Geek in The X Files Lone Gunmen episode "Three of a Kind." Jimmy is the guy who got hit by the bus. According to a rumor from the set, Kimmy is Jimmy's identical twin brother.
Kimmy: Is this another one of your wacko conspiracy theories, like who shot J.R.?
J.R. Ewing was, of course the main baddie in the 80's evening soap, Dallas. For quite some time, it was the mystery on most people's lips. Kimmy the Geek is mistaking J.R. for J.F.K.
Langly et al:
Technical references in plotline. The Octium "privacy issues" that Langly was doing the rant about are actually a spin on something that happened in the computer industry several years ago. Early model Pentium's had features incorporated in them that gave each chip a unique "signature." This would have made it easy to do things like check to see if a certain software is licensed to run on a particular machine. Privacy advocacy groups raised a real scream about this one and the features were removed.
The name of the computer company "E-COM-CON", is also the name of the secret project in the movie 7 Days in May, about a government coup.
Kimmy/Jimmy the Geek
A play on famous Las Vegas oddsmaker (not bookmaker) Jimmy the Greek.
Richard Helms served in the Central Intelligence Agency as deputy director in charge of covert operations, including assassinations (1962-1965), and as director (1966-1973). He was the CIA liaison with the Warren Commission and came under heavy fire from many assassination researchers who charge that he did everything within his power to hinder the investigation.
Helm (aka Overlord):
Operation Overlord was the secret code name for the World War II invasion of Europe by the Allied forces on June 6, 1944 (D-Day).
Yves Adele Harlow:
This beautiful hacker's name is an anagram for Lee Harvey Oswald, who allegedly assassinated President John F. Kennedy. Let us not forget that Byers was named after this president, born the day of the assassination.
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