The Mentalist Season 2 Episode 9

Clinic Director: I will be calling your superiors.

Jane: You know, a lot of people say that to me, and you know what I say? I say--

Lisbon: (interrupting) Let's go!

(Jane and Lisbon are talking to George and Tom Doverton)

Jane: You two are brothers, right?

George: Indeed. It's nice to see that the case is in such perceptive hands.

Jane: Can hands be perceptive? I don't think so. So is it usual that your uncle is here after closing?

Tom: He's not our uncle exactly.

Jane: Oh I'm sorry. Uh...the man having sex with your aunt, then. (Everyone's quiet for a few seconds)

George: No. No but tonight was the benefit. Carl must have forgotten something and come back and...surprised the thieves.

Jane: Hmm. Sure did.

(Jane and Lisbon are conducting an interview at a rehab clinic)

Clinic Director: Windward Clarity has the highest ratio of staff-to-patient of any facility in the state. Our philosophy mixes traditional Western practices with spiritual aspects of the East. Now, may I ask which one of you needs our help or is it both of you?

Lisbon: Actually we just wanted--

Jane: (interrupting) It's her.

Lisbon: No.

Jane: Oh, darling please. Can we just this once do it my way? Just once. (Lisbon looks a little annoyed, but doesn't say anything.) Thank you. In the beginning it was just social, but, well, more recently it's been starting to worry both of us. Right darling? (Lisbon nods.)

Clinic Director: Right this way. I'll introduce you to one of our intake specialists.

Jane: Fantastic. (When Lisbon and the clinic director start to walk away, Jane takes out his phone and pretends he's getting a call.) Oh, that's the office. I'm gonna have to take this. Baby, you go ahead, take a look. I'll be five minutes. I'll be right there. Look after her. I'm very proud of you. I love you.

Jane: I deduce from the irritated tone of your phone conversation that I was right about Carl Ward.

Lisbon: Half right.

Jane: Go on.

Lisbon: His real name is Carl Wysocki, he was in jail for kiting checks. He's got an ex-wife in Bayonne, New Jersey, who's owed 90,000 dollars in back alimony.

Jane: Half?

Jane: Well...

Lisbon: I don't care what you're gonna say. I like him for it.

Jane: What do you mean, you don't care what I have to say?

Lisbon: He's obvious, so you're gonna say he's not the guy, because that would be boring.

Jane: No, he looks good for it, superficially, at least. I was merely gonna say that we need to find the link between him and Doyle and someone inside Doverton's.

Lisbon: I though Carl Ward was your man on the inside.

Jane: No. I noted that he was a tennis pro and extrapolated from there.

Lisbon: No. No, you said he was the guy.

Jane: You do know why I'm letting you go, don't you?

Donny Culpepper: Let me guess. I'm innocent.

Jane: No, I figured you're stupid.

Donny Culpepper: Is that so?

Jane: Yeah. Either you really didn't know that Doyle was gonna actually rob the jewelery store- stupid innocent. Or you did know and you're about to lead us to a clue- stupid guilty.

Donny Culpepper: You should be more careful how you talk to people.

Jane: Yeah, I figure I'm pretty safe here. I mean, what are you gonna do?

Donny Culpepper: You think I care where we are?

Jane: (Sees Lisbon coming their way) Go ahead. Do something you miserable little sadist.

Lisbon: Don't think I don't know what you're doing.

Jane: What are you talking about?

Lisbon: Showing the Dovertons to Donny Culpepper. You wanted to see if he recognized one of them, didn't you?

Jane: You watch too much TV. I just thought there was no reason to keep Donny Culpepper here.

Lisbon: Now that's just annoying. You're not even putting any effort into the lie.

Jane: Mm, liar. Bad liar.

Mrs. Doverton: How dare you?

Jane: Well, it's a compliment on your character. You rather be a good liar?

Lisbon: That's it. Carl Ward is crooked because he got shot?

Jane: He's an ex-tennis pro, by definition disappointed. Should be on center court, Wimbledon, instead is tossing lobs to rich old ladies. Makes him bitter and twisted.

Lisbon: Case closed.

(Jane hits a diamond with the fire extinguisher, it bounces into the window and there's a huge crash, everyone is startled)

Lisbon: What the hell was that?

Jane: (looks sheepish) I, uh, had a hunch that it was a fake. (grins) Guess I'm wrong about that.

(Lisbon, Jane and Rigsby are crouching on the floor, looking for the diamond)

Van Pelt: What are you guys looking for?

Rigsby: The diamond.

Cho: (about Jane) What did he do?

Rigsby: Hit it with a fire extinguisher.

Cho: (deadpan) Of course.