The Mentalist Season 3 Episode 12

Jane: Valerie was deeply guilt-ridden over hitting the homeless guy. She started collecting soap, shampoo and crayons. She was taking kids hiking. She probably volunteered her time--

Lisbon: In a homeless shelter? Sometimes you act like I don't know jack.

Jane: More rhyming.

Lisbon: (to Jane and Dr. Montague after catching a suspect.) Darn! With him in the back, there won't be room for you two.

Jane: Well, how are we gonna get back?

Lisbon: Take the bus.

Jane: He was our driver!

Dr. Montague: Where is everybody? I thought we were working the night shift.

Jane: Oh, hi. Everybody's out catching the killer.

Dr. Montague: Seriously?

Jane: No, I'm joking.

Dr. Montague: Oh.

Jane: That was sarcasm. Uh, they're out catching the killer.

Dr. Montague: You are an attractive and stable character.

Rigsby: Thank you.

Dr. Montague: But, I don't need to conduct an analysis to see that you're still in love with someone else. The probability of us having a succesful relationship is no more than 20%.

Rigsby: 20%?

Dr. Montague: Mm-hmm, tops.

Lisbon: What did you just say?

Jane: I wrote the letter from the Caveman.

Lisbon: Yeah, I heard you the first time.

Jane: Why'd you ask me to say it again?

Lisbon: It was a rhetorical question!

Jane: I just wanted to stir things up, just, you know, give Montague a little prod.

Lisbon: I get it. She irks you.

Jane: No, she doesn't irk me. I like her. In fact, she amuses me.

Lisbon: Yeah, and in the meantime everybody's freaking out because they think there's a serial killer on the loose.

Jane: Well, there's that, but... That was her story. She made that up, not me.

Dr. Montague: Did you know that habitual mockery is a strong indicator of depression?

Jane: No, but thank you for enlightening me.

Lisbon: (about Dr. Montague) You have to admit, she really knows her stuff.

Jane: I'm admitting nothing. She's huffing and puffing.

Lisbon: Wait. That rhymes.

Lisbon: Where's my couch?

Jane: Oh, yes. I bought you a new one.

Lisbon: I like my old couch.

Jane: No, you don't. You've gotta try this one.

Lisbon: Speaking of mental facilities, have you seen Jane? I need to talk to him.

Jane: (at a salvage yard.) It's funny, isn't it. Dead cars are really quite beautiful in their way, whereas dead people, not so much.

Lisbon: Huh?

Jane: I suppose if we were cars, this place would be a horrific Charnel house.

Lisbon: Ugh. It's too early for philosophy.

Jane: Never too early.

Lisbon: When in doubt, don't act out.

Jane: You just made a rhyme. When am I ever in doubt?

Lisbon: Seriously, you start trouble and I will--

Jane: You'll burst my bubble?