The Mentalist Season 1 Episode 14

Lisbon: What's your normal procedure?

Fricke: After lovemaking? Depends on the type of woman.

Lisbon: So you've got it down to a science?

Fricke: I'm good at what I do.

Lisbon: Okay, Mr. Fricke, and what is it that you do?

Fricke: I'm a pickup artist. A woman whisperer, if you will.

Lisbon: A pickup artist? That's your profession?

Fricke: You sound like my mom. Um, it's more of a total lifestyle kind of thing, you know. I practice my art, of course. That's my passion. But I teach and I blog, also. Conduct seminars, workshops, that sort of thing.

(Teresa Lisbon nudges Patrick Jane, who is lying on the CBI couch, hard.)

Jane: What?

Lisbon: You know damn well what. You assaulted a man.

Jane: I just tweaked him on the nose.

Lisbon: Technically, that's assault.

Jane: Technically, he's an ass. He deserved it.

Jane: (observing Cho) Kid's a natural. Look at him. The Cho. No business like Cho business.

Jane: Can't sleep alone, huh?

Fricke: Some people use cocoa and a good book. I use beautiful women.

Cho: When did you first meet Paul Fricke?

Woman: At a wine tasting event a friend was throwing.

Cho: And how long were you and he romantically involved?

Woman: Um, three, maybe four hours.

Grace: (about Mr. Wolcutt) He's also the type that would hire other people to do his dirty work.

Cho: Yes, he is. Hitmen aren't cheap and they don't take credit cards.

Cho: You didn't steal jewelery from her?

Natalie: Please. She dresses like a Mormon call girl. I wouldn't wear her jewelery if you paid me.

Jane: There's something on this side of the room you don't want us to find. What is that?

Natalie: Nothing. There's nothing.

Jane: Look me in the eye and say that.

Natalie: Whatever. Search all you want.

Jane: Nah. Too much stuff. Not very tidy. Good in bed, I expect, yeah? Messy women make good lovers.

Van Pelt: What was she thinking? She was so beautiful and he's so creepy.

Rigsby: Yeah, Dr. Rubenstein was hot, too. How does he do it?

Jane: All you need is a basic understanding of the evolutionary psychology of women. Rigorously and fearlessly applied. You get to know what buttons to press.

Lisbon: Like we're toasters?

Van Pelt: Like men don't have buttons, too?

Jane: Men are like toasters. Women...little more like accordions.

Van Pelt: I say we bring him in anyway for creepiness.

Lisbon: Which should be a criminal offense but it isn't.

Lisbon: Do you keep a list of your pick-ups?

Fricke: Yeah, of course. I have it here. Names, numbers and a one to 10 grading system.

Lisbon: Nice. Something to show your grandkids.

Lisbon: Jill Rubenstein, what's your connection with her?

Fricke: The doctor lady? I met her in the parking lot and asked her for help.

Lisbon: A complete stranger takes you to her room, treats your wound and then has sexual intercourse with you?

Fricke: What can I say? The Hippocratic oath is a beautiful thing.

Mr. Wolcutt: I can make one phone call and your career is toast.

Cho: (decidedly unimpressed) That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.