Lisbon: LaRoche is looking for you.
Jane: Well, tell him I wish him luck.
LaRoche: You read the evidence report.
Jane: Oh, more like skimmed it. You know those things are not exactly summer reading, but I get paid to consult, so skim I do.
Lisbon: I'm sorry. Is there a problem?
LaRoche: Yes. Jane is the lead suspect in my investigation and I can't find him.
Lisbon: Jane's your lead suspect.
LaRoche: You smile. You think he's not capable of murder?
Lisbon: He's capable. I'm smiling because it's an absurd idea, Jane killing Johnson. He caught him. He put him in that cell.
LaRoche: He was the last person to see him alive in that cell.
Lisbon: And I was next to last.
LaRoche: So you're working undercover?
Jane: Which you just blew for me. Thank you very much.
LaRoche: Well, I doubt that. Up to the moment you left, you had them transfixed. What's that like... such power over people?
Jane: You tell me. I expect this Robocop routine of yours normally works quite effectively?
LaRoche: Normally. But you seem immune, so I may have to step up my efforts.
LaRoche: Agent Lisbon states that before Todd Johnson was set on fire, he indicated that he had a secret he wanted to tell you, and you alone.
Jane: We all have secrets. Most of them are quite unremarkable once revealed. What's your secret, Mr. Laroosh?
Jane: Pardon me.
LaRoche: I have no secrets.
Jane: The good doctor here thinks you're an angel.
Lailah: I am an angel.
Jane: Yeah. An angel of death. You know, I had a hunch soon as I found out about your pants. (Lailah stares) Pardon me. Your parents.
Jane: Chance has thrust our way a very sordid and vexing problem. But have no fear.
Van Pelt: We don't.
Lisbon: I do. What's your plan?
Lisbon: Are you all right?
Jane: (drunk) Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm still home. Would you take me drunk?
Jane: I sense a Christmas speech coming on.
Lisbon: No. I just think people can celebrate a holy day without lying to children about a magical fat guy with a sack full of toys.
Jane: So you took the whole Santa revelation badly, huh?
Lisbon: Crushed my heart like a cigarette.
Jane: Explains why you're still looking for magic in your life.
Lisbon: (reading from a Christmas card that was found on the victim.) "My life is a lie, forgive me".
Jane: Well, it's not a traditional Christmas greeting, but it has punch and concision. Very, uh, thoughtful of him to put it in a plastic baggie for us.
Lisbon: Lets us out. It's a straight-up suicide.
Lisbon: Hey, Jane? Could I trouble you for a professional opinion?
Jane: (sniffing the body of the victim.) No.
Lisbon: No what?
Jane: This isn't the actual Santa Claus.
Lisbon: Oh, really?
Jane: Some say he doesn't exist, period. That he's a 19th century marketing gimmick. I venture no opinion on that, but this definitely isn't him. This is an impostor.
Lisbon: And how can you tell?
Jane: Santa would smell like reindeer and chimneys. This man smells like cheap whiskey.
This episode had 13.4 million viewers when it originally aired.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Veselý rudý skítek (Jolly Red Elf)
Germany: Todesengel (Angel of death)
Carol of the bells - Christmas song
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: December 9, 2010 on CTV
United Kingdom: December 17, 2010 on Five/Five HD
Australia: March 06, 2011 on Nine
Sweden: March 8, 2011 on TV3
Germany: April 17, 2011 on SAT 1
Czech Republic: March 7, 2012 on TV Nova
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