The Mentalist Season 3 Episode 7

Van Pelt: Shankar likes "glamping". (Lisbon just stares) You know, glamorous camping?

Lisbon: You made that up.

Van Pelt: Did not.

Elsa: It was you I was trying to kill, you little slut.

Lisbon: Excuse me?

Elsa: You kissed him.

Lisbon: I did not. (to Cho) I didn't.

Elsa: You were about to.

Lisbon: (to Cho in a lowered voice) I did not kiss him.

Cho: None of my business.

(After Lisbon has found evidence that suggests Mashburn could be the killer.)

Lisbon: Tell me I'm wrong.

Jane: You're wrong.

Lisbon: Why?

Jane: The sniper very nearly killed you. Walter wouldn't let that happen. At least I believe that he wouldn't let that happen.

Mashburn: (about Yuri) The bottom line, I beat him, and I wanted him waking up for the next 30 years thinking about that.

Lisbon: You hated him so much, you wanted him alive?

Mashburn: Excactly.

Mashburn: Usually I can buy my way out of trouble. Ask my ex-wives.

Lisbon: Don't worry. We'll keep you safe. It's procedure to assign an agent to protect you.

Mashburn: Oh. Excellent.

Lisbon: Agent Cho will be here shortly.

Mashburn: Chicken.

Jane: Flirting with Lisbon, that's what saved him. (At the same time.)

Mashburn: I wasn't flirting!

Lisbon: He wasn't flirting whit me!

Lisbon: You do not mess with super-rich people. They're like kids with machine guns.

Jane: Super-rich people like Mashburn?

Lisbon: What about Mashburn?

Jane: Oh, my God. You're just so obsessed with Mashburn.

Lisbon: You're the one who brought him up.

Jane: What is it with you and him?

Mashburn: Hey, you have to be nice to me.

Lisbon: No, I don't.

Mashburn: I'm a citizen. You're a public servant.

Lisbon: I'm off duty now.

Mashburn: I upset you, don't I?

Lisbon: Upset me? No. Irritate me a little, maybe.

Mashburn: Why?

Lisbon: You're egotistical. You're arrogant. You're entitled and rich.

Mashburn: When do we get to the bad stuff?

Jane: (Pointing at Mashburn's credit card.) What's the limit on that thing?

Mashburn: I don't know if there is one.

Mashburn: Hey, I know. We could go to the track, race bikes for a couple of hours.

Cho: Motorcycles?

Mashburn: Yes.

Cho: No. Too exposed.

Mashburn: Okay, then we'll take the Lambo out for a spin.

Cho: It's not safe.

Mashburn: It has air bags.

Cho: Is it bulletproof?

Mashburn: Can I at least shoot your gun, then?

Elsa: (To Lisbon about Mashburn.) You're totally wrong for him. So little and bony.

Jane: Well, she does have a damaged intensity that some people might find attractive.

Mashburn: So my friends say because you saved my life that means you own me.

Lisbon: They have a return policy?

Jane: Hello, Lisbon. What a great day to not be blown up.

Lisbon: Give it up.

Jane: Give what up?

Lisbon: What you took from Bajoran's house. (Jane just stares.) The toupee, Jane. The housekeeper called.

Jane: Oh. (Gives her the toupee)

Lisbon: That's just gross. Why would you take it?

Jane: Evidence.

Lisbon: Of what?

Jane: Bad taste.

Mashburn: So, Teresa, I'm tired of doing this whole suspect thing again. Not fun at all. How about I play detective this time, give you and Patrick a hand?

Lisbon: Not a chance.

Mashburn: Oh, never say never.

Lisbon: Never, Walter. Never, ever.

Mashburn: (to himself) That's a maybe.

Mashburn: If I killed him, Teresa, why would I call in the CBI?.

Lisbon: You like games, thrills, Mr. Mashburn.

Mashburn: Walter, please. Mr. Mashburn was my mother.

Jane: I take this nap for freedom, Lisbon. For every little guy who has a dream.

Lisbon: Nap later. Now we fight crime.

Mashburn: I'll live, Teresa. Did you hear that? I'm alive. It's fantastic!

Lisbon: Yes, it is. Enjoy the adrenaline while it lasts.