The Mentalist Season 1 Episode 12

Jane: Witches have the power of telekinesis. She says that she has a spell, which will raise the weapon from wherever it's been concealed, and reveal itself to us.

Michael: And you believe this evil crap?

Jane: Well, you never can tell. We're going to give it a whirl.

Jane: Tamzin, the goddess may give you solace and hope and meaning in your life. But she can't protect you from those policemen out there.

Van Pelt: Witchcraft creeps me out.

Rigsby: It doesn't bother me. Nerds in cloaks.

Van Pelt: There's more to it than that.

Rigsby: It's just a silly alternative lifestyle, like Star Trek or yoga.

Van Pelt: I do yoga.

Jane: They should wait 10 minutes, then go in.

Lisbon: Why wait?

Jane: Let the plot develop, let the fruit ripen, let the yeast rise, etcetera.

Michael: You don't speak to my son, without my permission.

Jane: Oh, well that's a little weird and controlling, but okay. Do you mind if I speak to your son, Mr. Elkins?

Jane: Must be tough being Cody Elkins' little brother.

Brad: No. Well, yeah, sometimes.

Jane: Me? I'd hate it. He gets all the attention, the glory, the girls flocking around, for what? For running and jumping and catching a thing?

Brad: Yeah, monkeys could do that.

Jane: Yeah.

Brad: Monkeys could do it better.

Jane: You know, if monkeys played football, they would kick some serious jock butt.

Brad: Go away.

Jane: I can't. I wish I could. It's my job to hound people until I get the truth.

Jane: Relax. No such thing as witches.

Cho: (to himself) Yeah, it's easy for you to say. Weird witch-lady didn't burn you an effigy and bind you to her power.

Cho: Why did you give her my name? She said I was going to kneel before the Lord of Beasts. What does that even mean?

Jane: Oh, come on, you're not telling me you believe she's an actual witch?

Cho: No, of course not. But, I mean if dark forces did exist, stands to reason that there could be people who control them for their own ends.

Jane: They're called investment bankers.

Lisbon: (to Tamzin) Unfortunately it seems that one of your friends helped your magic along with a blunt instrument. In which case, you're as unmagically guilty as they are.

Coach Dieter: I chose to resign.

Rigsby: With a promise to take anger management class.

Coach Dieter: Forty-six hours worth. Bored the rage right out of me.

Rigsby: What is this?

Van Pelt: That is healthy and nutritious snacking.

Rigsby: I'm gonna die.

Jane: (while talking to Cody's parents) I have a question. It's always bothered me. Why do they call it football? People don't really use their feet much, do they?

Cho: Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.

Lisbon: So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell?

Cho: Pretty much.

Tamzin Dove: If a friend of mine had done this, they wouldn't have pointed the police right to me with a pentacle and flame. No, Cody's murder was staged to look like wicca. Any fool in this town would think of it. It's obvious misdirection. There's a witch in town. Duh.

Jane: A witch that put a killing spell on the boy in question.

Tamzin Doe: Exactly. It's perfect.

Mrs. Elkins: How can you be so cold?

Jane: Practice.