The Mentalist Season 1 Episode 8

Cho: Let's do this right. Go in too quickly, someone will get hurt.

Presiado: This is real police work, sonny, people get hurt. Go push some paper.

Jane: Nice to be nice. But if you wanna get ahead in life, sometimes you have to be a bitch. I know you know how.

Van Pelt: Gee, thanks.

(Dale Blakely punches Jane in the face)

Lisbon: You okay?

Jane: Assault, assault!

Lisbon: I would rethink this new technique of yours.

Jane: (Holding his nose.) Yeah. Yeah, I can't disagree.

Jane: It's funny what bad liars cops are. I guess they're not used to concealing themselves under questioning.

Lisbon: I'm a cop and I lie to you all the time, you never catch it.

Jane: I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're translucent, my dear. I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you've fooled me just so you don't feel bad.

Lisbon: Name one time.

Jane: Last thanksgiving you said you were going back East to your brother's house, but I knew you actually planned to have three days at home alone to watch old movies and eat ice cream.

Lisbon: Okay, so that's one time.

(Talking about Dale Blakely)

Jane: He's not gonna talk. Poor soul.

Lisbon: He made his bed. He can lie in it.

Jane: You know, I never understood that one. Just because someone makes their bed, why do they have to lie in it? What's to stop them from lying in another bed? Or on the floor for that matter.

Lisbon: When are you gonna learn to cool it without being told?

Jane: Oh, come on. They pissed you off, too, the sexist pigs.

Lisbon: They were.

Jane: I just said they were.

Lisbon: You were saying it ironically.

Presiado: (to Wayne) Are you guys gonna help or are you gonna stand there and pick your nose?

Lisbon: Is this the only .38 in your possession? (Patrick grabs Presiado's wrist)

Presiado: Yes it is. (To Jane) And if you try to hold my hand again I'm gonna tear your arm off and beat you unconscious with it. Get me?

Jane: Got you.