Miss Piggy mentions that she's sick of and kind of pig joke. She claims Kermit forgets about her when there's a beautiful girl guest on the show. She also says that she and Candice Bergen will leave if she doesn't get to do the opening number. Kermit lets her open the show.
Miss Piggy does her rendition of "What Now My Love" while lounging on pillows. Three monsters are her backup singers. The act is overly dramatic. The monsters keep getting in her way and chase her around.
Fozzie says he has a wire for Kermit. He gives him a wire hanger.
Candice performs in "Put Another Log on the Fire." She's a prarie wife running around making sure she gets everything done while her husband sits and sings. She finally can't take it anymore. In anger she destroys the cabin and walks out.
fozzie says he has a letter for Kermit. He gives him the letter R. Kermit swears that he'll get him back. He tries to pawn the bit onto Scooter but fails because Scooter is too busy to read the letter.
In the ballroom Janice asks Zoot on a date.
The panel is made up of Mildred, Miss Piggy, Kermit, Candice as Clara Cartwell, and Sam. The questions is: "Does travel broaden the mind?" Sam claims that he went to Persia. Mildred calls Piggy fat and ugly so they get into a fight. Sam flirts with Clara.
Rowlf sings a cute song titled "I'm Gonna Finish on Top." Scooter mentions that Rowlf needs to sing it again and faster which Rowlf does. Then Scooter comes back saying that his uncle loves the song and wants to hear it again. Since there only 20 seconds left he has to sing it really fast and he does.
Candice is taking pictures of Kermit. She wants him to be more candid and natural but he keeps posing. Sweetumes drops by wondering about Candice's camera. He eats it then mentions that he's tasted better.
The swedish Chef prepares spicy chili juice. After he adds ingredients he tastes it leading to smoke coming out of his ears. He adds more ingredients, tastes it, and he chef's hat shoots off his head. There's smoke coming out of his ears. He wilts to the floor.
Candice poses as a Grecian lady for an art class. She eats grapes to pass the time. The teacher sings "That Face." Each of the student's paintings looks like themselves. Animal then starts to paint Candice.
Fozzie says he has a note for Kermit. Three frogs sing a note.
On "Veterinarian's Hospital," Dr. Bob (Rowlf) hits the patients with a mallet wherever he hurts. He pulls Kermit out of the monster patient's throat.
Fozzie says he has a flower for Kermit. He dumps flour all over Kermit. Miss Piggy punches Fozzie because of the gag.
Gonzo sings that he's alone. Candice joins him to sing "Friends" to cheer him up. Other Muppets join in.
Fozzie wraps up the show. Candice mentions that Kermit might be upset because of the running gag. Kermit then comes on stage saying he has a pie for Fozzie. Kermit throws the pie in Fozzie's face twice.