The first number is "Lydia, the Tattooed Lady." Kermit sings about Lydia, who as the title of the song suggests is covered in tattoos. At the end of the number Lydia kisses Kermit. Miss Piggy is upset and hits him.
Gonzo asks Hilda to fix his teddy bear. She refuses to fix the bear saying that Gonzo needs to get rid of it. Fozzie leaves his dressing room just in time to overhear the conversation going on below. He thinks that he is the bear in question. He gets upset.
It's time for the Swedish Chef. Today he is making Swedish Meatballs. He seasons the meatballs and then plays tennis with them.
Wayne and Wanda are determined to sing tonight. When the stage is empty they make plans saying that they will cut the Connie Stevens spot. Connie comes out of her dressing room in time to overhear Wayne. As soon as Wayne sees her he tries to correct what he was saying.
Connie performs "Teenager in Love." Her background singers are a group called The Mutations. They want all the attention so they start to push Connie around.
Gonzo asks Kermit for his opinion about his teddy bear. Kermit agrees that the bear is awful. Fozzie overhears this, leading him to think that Gonzo is the only person who likes him.
It's ballroom dancing time with the rats wearing neckties to be elegant.
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem sing "Ain't Misbehavin'" with a lot of soul.
Connie and Kermit chat. She sings "Close to You" to describe her feelings toward him. Fozzie joins in because he wants to be the object of Connie's affection.
Fozzie packs his bags to leave. He overhears Scooter saying that Gonzo's bear is funny. This makes Fozzie feel better. But then he addes that getting a new bear would be nice too. This deflates Fozzie's ego and he continues to leave.
It's time for Zoot, the sax player to play. He only does when the conductor of the orchestra threatens to get a new sax player unless he performs. A bell player adds to the jazzy number and throws off Zoot.
Gonzo is going to grow a tomato plant while playing "The 1812 Overture" on a violin. He does last longer than his last act until he's booed off stage.
Fozzie says his goodbyes. Gonzo tells Kermit "if the bear goes I go." Fozzie hugs him. Gonzo mentions that he was only talking about his teddy bear. Kermit reminds Fozzie that he's a star. So Fozzie being star makes him want a raise, a limo, and a bigger dressing room. Both bears get to stay.
Bert and Ernie from "Sesame Street" arrive. Bert's a little overwhelmed at being on a TV variety show. He also feels very self-conscious. Bert dresses in a tux and starts singing "Some Enchanted Evening" with Connie appearing in the background. They dance together. At the end Ernie takes Bert home.
Kermit thanks Connie and presents her with her Muppet likeness. Then she's attackes by Gonzo's overgrown tomato plant.