The Muppet Show

Season 1 Episode 15

Harvey Korman

Aired Unknown Dec 13, 1976 on



  • Quotes

    • Kermit: Okay, time once again for that furry, fuzzy, funnyman, fabulous, freewheeling, fast and frantic Fozzie Bear!
      Fozzie: Hey, hey, hey hey, w-wait, wait wait wait wait, froggy...
      Kermit: What?
      Fozzie: ...not so fast. Tonight, I am going to use your assistance.
      Kermit: Yeah?
      Fozzie: Yes, sir! You and I are going to tell the world's funniest joke.
      Kermit: Is that right?
      Fozzie: This is all spontaneous. Unrehearsed. Right, froggy?
      Kermit: It's unrehearsed, yes.
      Fozzie: Okay, okay, okay. Now, frog of my heart...
      Kermit: Yeah?
      Fozzie: will just wait until I say the word "hear". When you hear me say the word "hear," you will rush up to me and say, "Good grief! The comedian's a bear!"
      Kermit: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
      Fozzie: Check!
      Kermit: When you say the word "hear"?
      Fozzie: Right.
      Kermit: Gotcha.
      Fozzie: Okay. (Kermit goes off stage) Now then, hiya hiya hiya! You're a wonderful looking audience! It's a pleasure to be here!
      Kermit: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
      Fozzie: Not yet!
      Kermit: You just said "here".
      Fozzie: That was the wrong "here"!
      Kermit: Which is the right "here"?
      Fozzie: The other "hear"! Go go go, go. (Kermit goes back off stage) Okay. Hey! Hey, folks, this is a story you gotta love to hear.
      Kermit: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
      Fozzie: Will you stop that?!
      Kermit: But you said "hear"!
      Fozzie: Not that "hear"!
      Kermit: Well, which "hear"?!
      Fozzie: Another "hear"!
      Kermit: How'm I gonna know?!
      Fozzie: You'll know when you hear!
      Kermit: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
      (Both yell out nonsense syllables and then calm down)
      Fozzie: Alright, alright, listen...
      Kermit: What?
      Fozzie: You will know when I point to you. (Kermit walks off grumbling) Alright, don't grumble. (clears throat) Say, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the theater. At the stage door, I passed a bunch of Muppet fans and suddenly I hear...
      (pause, Fozzie points to Kermit)
      Kermit: Good grief, the comedian's a bear.
      Fozzie: (in an Italian dialect) No, he's-a not! He's-a wearin' a neck-a-tie!