Fran Fine Sheffield
Chastity Claire "C.C." Babcock
Margaret "Maggie" Sheffield
Woman at the Park
Mr. Sheffield has a piece of Shakespeare's notebook, but no such notebook exists. We only have evidence of Shakespeare's handwriting in a few surviving legal documents and possibly a page of a play called Sir Thomas More.
Maxwell: You and I are going down to the police station to identify the suspect in a lineup and hope to God he's still got my Shakespeare!
Fran: I don't want to identify him! What if he comes back and tries to kill me?!
Maxwell: Then he can stand in bloody line!
Fran: I can't believe this happened to us! I don't know what to do! I can't even think straight!
Woman: Excuse me, where's Bloomingdale's?
Fran: Oh well, go over to Lexington, and down to fifty-nineth. And the frozen yogurt in the cafe is not to be missed. I tell ya, if I wasn't just mugged, I'd join you!
Fran: Let's just retrace our steps. I came in here with that whole Brighton eyeglasses issue, and you said, "MISS FINE!" Oh wait, that was just now. And then C.C. said something stupid and Niles said that tubes-tying crack which I'm still laughing about by the way!
Niles: Thank you!
Detective: You're a little naive.
Fran: I am, it's always been my greatest downfall!
Maxwell: I said the same thing, she nearly bit my head off!
Niles: It's all in the delivery, sir.
Maxwell: I knew your wide-eyed naivete would catch up with you.
Fran: Don't call me naive, that's very condescending! And I only appear wide-eyed because of my Maybelline ultralash. Which was in my purse!
Fran: Don't worry, Mr. Sheffield. It's like my grandmother says; "life's like a box of chocolates".
Maxwell: That's from Forrest Gump.
Fran: And they paid her nothing!
Fran: See, Mr. Sheffield, it's like my grandmother says, "All's well that ends well."
Maxwell: That's from Shakespeare, Miss Fine.
Fran: And again, she got nothing!
Mugger: I've never stolen anything before in my life! I wanted to tell you, but I'm not allowed within forty feet of your house.
Fran: Why, you single and Jewish?
Maxwell: First of all, there is a man of the house!
Niles: I've warmed up your pajamas sir, would you like warm milk or cocoa?
Maxwell: Thank you Niles, you're fired.
Maxwell: Excuse me sir, where do we recover our items?
Detective: Excuse me?
Maxwell: Our items that were stolen.
Detective: (Laughing) This is your first time, isn't it?
Maxwell: I asked to take Town Car, but no, you had to walk! That document lasted three hundred and fifty bloody years BEFORE IT MET YOU!
Fran: (Yelling out the door) Keep low to the ground, avoid that car, serpentine, serpentine! Watch out for that creepy guy! Oh it's you Niles, get in here!
Niles: I got what you asked for. Hair spray, breath spray, and pepper spray. What do you say we switch the labels and give them to Ms. Babcock?
Fran: Niles, I am fearing for my life! I cannot sit around and watch you torture Ms. Babcock... but take pictures.
C.C.: (Pushing Brighton past Mr. Sheffield's office) Ask yourself punk, do you feel lucky?
Maxwell: What's all that about?
Niles: Oh, the expert is teaching Brighton how to repel a man.
Brighton: I feel terrible. I should have defended you yesterday but I totally wimped out.
Fran: Oh, sweetie... sweetie, listen. All you did was pass out, puke, and pee in your pants. You were in Central Park. You fit right in.
Fran: Okay. Calm down, calm down. So the man has my address and telephone number. Lots of guys do. Do they ever call?
Detective: Did either of you get a good look at the guy?
Brighton: No, we only saw him for a second. He had a stocking over his head.
Fran: No Nonsense, sheer and silky, misty taupe, sandalfoot.
Detective: And that's it?
Fran: No, no. He had a run over his left ear.
Niles: (To Fran) I'll hold her down, you tie her tubes.
Maxwell: The Shakespeare's gone, it was in Miss Fine's stolen purse.
C.C.: I'LL KILL YOU! (throws a pillow over Fran's face and trys to suffocate her. Max watches like he doesn't care)
Niles: (holding phone) Aren't you going to stop her?
Max: Oh, I will.
Niles: Sir, they found the perpetrator and Miss Fine is the only witness.
Maxwell: Stop, stop, we need her alive!
Fran: Oh, please tell me MacBeth is something that goes with McFries.
this episode was videotaped on March 17th, 1995
In this episode Fran and Max call each other in their first names for the first time (if you don't count the time when Max casually introduced Fran to a girl he met at a nightclub in the season opener).
When Fran and Max get home, the house is totally empty. Earlier in this episode the detective laughed when Maxwell asked him about the stolen things. But in the next episode every single thing is back in the house.
Fran never really looked at the mugger, but she is very accurate describing him to the detective.
This is the episode where Ben's "pocket phase" is most clearly shown. For a few episodes, almost all of Benjamin Salisbury's (Brighton's) scenes show him with his hands in his pockets. He seems to not know what to do with his hands, so he spends most of the episodes with them in the pockets.
C.C.: Ask yourself, punk. Do you feel lucky?
This is a famous quote used in Dirty Harry, starring Clint Eastwood.
When Fran meets the mugger in the park after her purse is stolen, he gives her free theater tickets as an apology. That night, when Fran and Max return home, the house has been stripped because the mugger knew they wouldn't be home if they used the tickets. This plot is a variation of the "Free Ticket Robbery Scam" story that's become an urban legend - Yuppie couple thinks their car was stolen, only to find it returned the next day with a note from a "neighbor," who claimed to use the car for an emergency, and offers them free tickets as a thank you. When the couple comes home after the play, they find their house completely bare - and was featured on the TLC series, Mostly True Tales: Urban Legends Revealed, in 1998.
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