The Nanny

Season 2 Episode 14

I've Got a Secret

Aired Wednesday 8:30 PM Dec 12, 1994 on CBS
out of 10
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Episode Summary

I've Got a Secret
A secret celebrity is staying at the Sheffield residence while recovering from surgery, and Fran is anxious to know who it is.

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    Ann Morgan Guilbert

    Ann Morgan Guilbert

    Yetta Rosenberg

    Fran Drescher

    Fran Drescher

    Fran Fine Sheffield

    Charles Shaughnessy

    Charles Shaughnessy

    Maxwell Sheffield

    Lauren Lane

    Lauren Lane

    Chastity Claire "C.C." Babcock

    Daniel Davis

    Daniel Davis


    Nicholle Tom

    Nicholle Tom

    Margaret "Maggie" Sheffield

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (18)

      • Maxwell: Where is the last place he passed for Cher? SeaWorld?
        Fran: Well Cher just had surgery. We'll tell everyone she just saw Corzon.

      • Fran: How's it look up there?
        Grace: There's a man dressed like a lady!
        Fran: I'll explain everything later.

      • Fran: Mr. Sheffield, if I told you I could fix everything, would you forgive me?
        Maxwell: Yes.
        Fran: Got any ideas?

      • Brighton: (To parrot) Maggie stuffs her bra. Maggie stuffs her bra.
        Niles: Master Brighton, stop torturing that bird. It's very cruel.
        Brighton: I think he's having a better day than that cornish hen you've got your thumbs in. (Leaves)
        Niles: (To parrot) Let's pick up where we we left off. Miss Babcock's embezzling.

      • Fran: >(To the sleeping mystery celebrity) Lullaby, and goodnight, you're too short to be Candice Bergen, la la la la (Looks at her chest) rules out Dolly Parton too! You know, you've very brave. Surgery's not for me. I'll stick with my thigh cream. It tingles cellulite away. I don't know if it works, but I don't hate it.

      • Brighton: All the bird will say is "Raymond loves Lola."
        Niles: And it deserves to die for that?
        Brighton: Niles, Raymond is Joey's dad, and Lola is the upstairs maid.
        Niles: Ah.
        Fran: They were bouncing more than quarters on those sheets!

      • Niles: (When Brighton has a bird) There was the fish, the hamster, the guinea pig, our backyard looks like a pet Boot Hill!
        Fran: But the roses were gorgeous this year!

      • Maxwell: So what brings you here, Miss Fine?
        Fran: Oh, nothing.
        Maxwell: Children are doing well?
        Fran: Uh huh.
        Maxwell: Household running okay?
        Fran: Oh yeah.
        Maxwell: Anything on fire?
        Fran: No, no.
        Maxwell: Then get out!

      • Fran: It's one thing to keep a secret from me, but to give you such a slap in the face! If I were you, I'd go up there and demand to know! Really loud.
        Niles: Miss Fine, unlike you, I'm not interested.
        Fran: (Gasps) You know!
        Niles: You betcha, baby.
        Fran: But why would he tell you and not me?
        Maxwell: Because Niles wasn't caught leading a conga line with my filing cabinet.

      • Niles: (beating them back with his umbrella) Back! Back, you journalistic spawn of Satan! (they clear a path) Thank you very much and have a nice day. (to Maxwell) One must be firm but never rude.

      • Fran: What did I tell you about snooping?
        Grace: That there should always be a lookout.
        Fran: Good! Go wait in the hall.

      • Fran: You know who would just die if they found out Cher was here?
        Maxwell: You will, Ms. Fine, you will die if anyone finds out!

      • Maxwell: (To Fran) I was just thinking, before you came into my life I never had the need for an emergency transvestite.

      • Fran: That's it, Val, we're not getting into college.

      • Maxwell: Miss Fine, you got some 'splaining to do!!!

      • Fran: (To Maxwell) This wouldn't have happened if you would just tell me who she is!
        Celebrity: (standing in the doorway) Cher!
        Fran: Well sharing is what it's all about!
        Celebrity: Cher!
        Fran: I know, don't tell me, tell him! I give and give!
        Maxwell: She's really very good with children.
        Fran: Do you think that earns his trust? No! He still won't tell me who you are!
        Celebrity: CHEEERRRRR! Fran: I heeeeaaard yooouuu! (to Maxwell) You sure it wasn't a head injury?
        Cher: (she walks over) Grammy, Emmy, Oscar...
        Fran: RITA MORENO???

      • (C.C. is trying to find out who the secret celebrity is, by looking through Maxwell's laptop computer; she is doing this, unaware that he has just walked in)
        Fran: Miss Babcock? Babs, baby?
        C.C.: It's all right. I do this all the time! How do I know where he is every minute of the day? Now what was his password?
        Maxwell: "Busted?"
        C.C.: No, Maxwell would never . . . OOOH! Oh! Maxwell! I was just looking for the (mumbles) file, and . . . I remember where I left that! (she runs out of the office)
        Maxwell: Stay out of the guest room!
        (C.C. runs past the office in another direction)

      • (Fran and Val are in Mr. Sheffield's office)
        Val: This is just like being called into the principal's office!
        Fran: All right, all right. Here's what we'll do. It'll be just like in high school. I'll make up the story, you stick to it.
        Val: I was supposed to stick to it?
        Fran: I'm gonna get suspended!
        (Maxwell comes in; Fran and Val stand up)
        Maxwell: Sit.
        (Fran and Val sit down))
        Maxwell: I am most disappointed in you two ladies.
        Fran: That's it, Val. We're not gonna get into college! (They both start laughing)
        Maxwell: So, you find this amusing, Miss Fine?
        Fran: No, Mr. Sheffield!
        Maxwell: I didn't think so.
        (Val starts crying)
        Maxwell: Tears won't work in this office, Miss Toriello.
        Val: He's gonna call my mother!

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (3)

      • Niles: ...our backyard is like Boot Hill!

        Boot Hill is a cemetery in the Midwest, dating from the mid-1800s. Named mostly because most of its occupants were cowboys who died 'with their boots on'.

      • The title of this epuisode is a reference to the TV game show I've Got a Secret. In this 1952 show, four celebrity panelists tried to guess a secret, which the contestant whispered in the host's ear- The secret was always shown to the television and studio audience.

      • got some 'splainin' to do!

        This is a tribute to I Love Lucy. Ricky Ricardo used this phrase quite often when he found out what schemes Lucy had gotten herself into.