The Nanny Season 2 Episode 8

C.C.: I've prepared a short docier about myself. Where I grew up, went to prep school, when I came out...
Fran: You came out? Then what are you always sniffing around Mr. Sheffield for?
C.C.: My coming out party, Miss Fine.
Fran.: I heard you. Now you and your special friend can dance together at Disneyland!

Fran: Okay, Niles, I'm off to be Ms. Babcock. Help me get into character. Hit me with your best shot.
Niles: Oh, no, Ms. Fine. I couldn't possibly.
Fran: C'mon! Hello, hello, I'm C.C. Babcock, off to go to work.
Niles: In your usual corner? I'm sorry, Ms. Fine. Don't make me do this.
Fran: I'm Ms. Babcock and I'm off to get money from a man.
Niles: Don't forget your change belt. I hate myself... Do it again.
Fran: No, I have to go.
Niles: Oh, c'mon, one more, I'm hot!
Fran: All right and I'll make this one easy. Niles, get me a drink. I'm dog-tired.
Niles: Dog tired...
Fran: C'mon... I don't hear anything... Niles, get a life. (Leaves)
Niles: I got it! I got it! (Shouts out the door) I'll leave the lid up on the toilet bowl! Officer.

Maggie: Wow, Fran, you look so hot in that dress!
Fran: Uh-oh, I'm supposed to look like Ms. Babcock. I tried to dress conservatively. Niles, can you picture Ms. Babcock in this dress?
Niles: Not if I ever want to function as a man again.

Charles Haist: Where do you open?
Fran: Ooh! I know that one... it's uh...
Niles: Would you like some cream cheese, Miss Babcock?
Fran: We open in Kraft!
Maxwell: We open in Philly, Miss Fine... uh Miss Babcock, fine, Miss Babcock.

Charles Haist: (Hears C.C. pounding on the bathroom door) What's that?
Fran: Uh, the dog. We put her away because we didn't want her to ride your leg.
Niles: Yes, we should really see about having her fixed.

C.C.: Nanny Fine doesn't have my class or my breeding!
Niles: Then maybe she won't lick herself in front of company.

Charles Haist: I've been in the garbage business for a long time and you don't see a lot of leg. And if you do, you're calling for homicide.

Maxwell: C.C., Mr. Haist is a bit of a ladies man so do whatever you can to make yourself presentable.
Niles: Should I open the roof and attach her to a lightning rod?

Fran: My mother's already decided how to spend the money. She's reconstructing her face.
Maxwell: That's a little premature.
Fran: Really? I thought she was long overdue?

Fran: Mr. Sheffield, you're like a virgin on your wedding night, not that I would know! Ah, because I've never been married.

Sylvia: (Takes a picture of Niles) My girl doesn't do windows. I want to show her it's not such a sin.
Niles: Meet me in the kitchen later, I'll clean behind the refrigerator.

Charles Haist: I'll pick you up. Where do you live?
Fran: (Pretending to be C.C.) Where do I live? Uh, you think I lived here since I'm always around!
Niles: Miss Babcock, why don't you look for a business card in your purse?
Fran: Good idea! (Reaches for her purse)
Niles: No, Miss Babcock! That's... my purse! (Charles stares at him) They're all the rage in Europe. Here's your purse, Miss Babcock.
Fran: Of course, here it is! Nope, no business card, just nail file, credit card, therapy bill... boy am I unhappy!
Maxwell: 407 N 86th Street. I'll send a limo.

C.C.: Here Ben, I'll give you a ride back to your hotel.
Niles: He can ride in the basket with Toto.