It is revealed that Old Christine pays $30,000 a year to send Ritchie to Westbridge.
Christine: There's a charter school a few blocks away, Ritchie can go there. It'll be great: he can walk to school, play with other kids, snap his fingers, sit out on the stoop.
Matthew: Where is this charter school, West Side Story?
Christine: You guys can't stay for the meeting. You look like freaks. Matthew: Come on, it's not that bad. Christine: Not that bad? Richard's a tiny mustache away from taking over Poland!
Principal Merrow: I thought you said you weren't happy here. Christine: No, I'm not. I mean this place is all filled up with snobs and meanies and blondes. I'm miserable here. But my only other option was home schooling and I just recently realized that I'm a dumb ass. Principal Merrow: "Recently?"
Christine: You are looking at a soon-to-be thousandaire. Matthew: Wait, wait, wait, is that real mayonnaise? Christine: Not just real mayonnaise—Hellmann's baby! Look at it. And that's not all, either. We got real cheese, we got real bread, we got real balogna. Matthew: Good God! What were we eating before?
Christine: I happen to have a letter of recommendation from a Mr. Abraham Lincoln. Principal Slater: Yeah, you know, I wasn't looking for a bribe, Mrs. Campbell. Christine: Oh. Principal Slater: So you can keep your five dollars.
Christine: (looking at a photo on the desk) Oh, your husband's a very handsome man. Principal Slater: That's the President of the United States.
Christine: I am so sick of the snobs at this school. This time I vow I'm going to do something about it. Richard: Your vows don't mean anything. Remember "no TV during dinner?" Matthew: Or "live a life of service?" Richard: Till death do us ... what! Christine: You know what? This time I mean it. Seriously. I'm getting Ritchie out of that school. Richard: What are you going to do, home-school him? Matthew: Yeah. At least then he'd make the sports team.
Marly: Oh, no need to check our girls. We don't sleep on buses or try on hats from the dollar store. Christine: You just described my last Spring Break.
Principal Merrow: Hold on there a minute, Miss Campbell. We're screening students for lice. Christine: Oh, no thanks. We just bought magazines. Principal Merrow: No, no, we're not asking for money. We've had an outbreak, and all students must be checked. Those with lice will not be allowed to the school. Ritchie: Come on, lice! Christine: I can promise you, Ritchie does not have lice. He takes a 45-minute shower every day. I mean, if you told me he was going blind, that would make sense.
The German episode title is "Verlaust", meaning "Lice-Ridden".
International Airdates: Latin America: October 7, 2009 on Warner Channel; Finland: January 6, 2011 on MTV3
This episode was part of the show's Emmy Awards 'For Your Consideration' DVD for this season.
Although credited, Wanda Sykes and Emily Rutherfurd do not appear in this episode.
S 5 : Ep 21
Aired 5/12/10 (21:24)
S 5 : Ep 20
Aired 5/5/10 (21:24)
S 5 : Ep 19
Aired 4/21/10 (21:24)
S 5 : Ep 18
Aired 4/14/10 (20:57)
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